Show of HandsShow of Hands

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rolltribe Ohio
06/29/13 6:30 pm

A doctor told his patient "you have cancer and short term memory loss." The patient replied "well at least I don't have cancer!"

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rolltribe Ohio
06/29/13 6:29 pm

What's green and has 4 wheels?




A frog, I lied about the wheels

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rolltribe Ohio
06/29/13 6:27 pm

Always remember that you're unique; just like everyone else...

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JackTorS Clap you stupid bastards
06/29/13 6:27 pm

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say "bought", I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.

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Doopy Remedial Americanism
06/29/13 6:29 pm

Says the guy with no soul, who thinks he got the long end of that stick...

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:26 pm

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.

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Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/29/13 6:26 pm

learn to speak chinese:
1) That's not right ... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?... Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man ... Dum Fu*
5) Small Horse ... Tai Ni Po Ni

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Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/29/13 6:26 pm

6) Did you go to the beach? ... Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table ... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift ... Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here ... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet ... Wai Yu Mun Ching

Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/29/13 6:27 pm

11) This is a tow away zone ... No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight ... Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile ... Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive ... Yu Stin Ki Pu

Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/29/13 6:27 pm

And finally, my personal favorite,

16) Great ... Fa Kin Su Pah

Capitan Elysium
06/29/13 6:37 pm

By far my favorite on this page. Literally had me laughing, well done.

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:25 pm

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.

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thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:22 pm

How can you spot the blind guy in a nudist colony?

It's not hard.

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kermie gaytopia
06/29/13 6:21 pm

This had me laughing hysterically this afternoon. Don't know if you share my kind of humor but can't hurt to try ;)

chzb.gr/18loGZS

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Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 6:25 pm

Hahaha yeah that's what the name was born from, and it caught on with some of my friends

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 6:26 pm

Sorry for the mistaken reply, wrong spot

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 6:26 pm

Also, that is hilarious!!!!

Cruz2016 Rum Bum Beach City
06/29/13 6:28 pm

Did nothing for me....

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 6:42 pm

Dude, she had no idea what she was doing, she was talking out of her a$$ when she could speak and she was so embarrassed by it that she couldn't even look up at the camera. It was funny, and she took herself too seriously

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 6:21 pm

I was at Island Beach for a couple of hours this morning with my friend Mary and she said something that I am still l aching about. The only background information tended is the following: I talk so much that my parents have always said that

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Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 6:22 pm

That I swallowed a radio when I was born, and some of my friends call me Nizzle. Ok so we were talking about kidnappers and she turned to me and said: "Nizzle, if I was a kidnapper and I kidnapped you, I think I would have to send you back!"

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/29/13 6:23 pm

Fo shizzle my Nizzle.

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 6:25 pm

Sorry about the typos but I give up on trying to correct them, I am pretty sure that you'll be ale to understand what was meant to be said. Ok I'll correct it, * "I am still laughing about" and "background information you need is"

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 6:27 pm

Hahaha yeah that's what the name was born from, and it caught on with some of my friends

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/29/13 6:28 pm

;) it's like I know these things! And just an FYI, watching your constant struggle with typing makes me giggle at times. );

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 6:39 pm

I just never seems to work for me on the iPad keyboard and it drives me NUTS because I care about these things damnit!

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/29/13 6:42 pm

The struggle. ;( I sympathize, but it's still rather funny at times, hehe. Especially when it's a sexual poll. (;

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 7:59 pm

Oh or sutre it's hilarious but it bothers my eyes to see it

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 8:05 pm

And it happened again, * oh for sure it is hilarious blahlahblah

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 8:12 pm

And it KEEPS winning! It's going to be theme of me and I don't like it :(

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/29/13 8:28 pm

Win, win, win, no matter what, what, what. ;D

I'm not quite sure how you do it! It's like apple is conspiring against you!

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 8:31 pm

THEY MUST BE CONSPIRING AGAINST ME, THOSE BASTARDS!!!
Only right now at this very moment I am using my phone which is a Galaxy Note 2, not an apple (shhhhh don't tell anybody!)

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/29/13 8:34 pm

Hehehe, and you didn't make any typos! I'm so proud of you. Our little Niza's growing up. (;

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 8:35 pm

That's because my phone likes me MUUUUUCH more than m iPad does. I knew I left my iPad at home on purpose, I should do it more often apparently

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/29/13 8:41 pm

BUT IT WUVVVSSSS YOU! D:
You abandon your iPad like it's an ice cream cone in the hot summer sun. ):

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/29/13 8:42 pm

That made no damn sense, but it made me laugh. :'P

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/29/13 8:48 pm

Do you have any idea how damn excited I am for Suits?! Lol, sorry... I just saw a preview. :D :D

Nizabelle Cambridge, MA
06/29/13 8:53 pm

Um not nearly as excited as I am about it you B*TCH!!!! I'm pretty stoked about it, it should be fantastic!!!!!!!!

PuppyLvr In love with Listgarten
06/29/13 6:20 pm

Sign on a door:
"Whoever keeps adding 'og' to the end of my doorsign:
STOP IT.
-Dr. Hedgeh"

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thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:20 pm

As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."

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cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 6:20 pm

Three blondes were stuck on an island. A genie comes and gives each one a wish. The first blonde says " I wish I could be 10% smarter so I could get off this island" and turns into a redhead and swims across. The second blonde says "I wish I could...

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cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 6:22 pm

Become 25% smarter so I could get off this island" and turns into a brunette and paddles across on a canoe. The third blonde says " I wish I could be 50% smarter so I could get off this island" and turns into a man and walks across the bridge. :p

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:19 pm

What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?

A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

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thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:18 pm

What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?

Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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PuppyLvr In love with Listgarten
06/29/13 6:17 pm

Student: Should I get in trouble for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Student: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

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MrEdwin Mystery
06/29/13 6:18 pm

I don't get in trouble for not doing my homework anymore, I just get a failing grade #collegeprobs

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:16 pm

What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy?

At least when you are eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.

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PuppyLvr In love with Listgarten
06/29/13 6:13 pm

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

Love that one!

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JackTorS Clap you stupid bastards
06/29/13 6:12 pm

The other day I was wondering "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

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Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/29/13 6:12 pm

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet?

To stamp out burning ducks.

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Processing On a journey to oneness.
06/29/13 6:11 pm

Don't read if easily offended.





What breaks when you give it to a one year old?

Her hips.

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thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:12 pm

Holy fuck

MrEdwin Mystery
06/29/13 6:12 pm

Damn live, step it up

zman117 Ohio
06/29/13 6:12 pm

Oh.......... My........... God

JackTorS Clap you stupid bastards
06/29/13 6:13 pm

Holy inappropriate Batman!!!

Doopy Remedial Americanism
06/29/13 6:15 pm

That one may be past the PG-13 content target Tony has asked us to maintain...

twss trump is a garbage human
06/29/13 6:28 pm

Sorry An-Cap...that one made me wince, not laugh.

MrMilkdud
06/29/13 6:42 pm

Where did the guy who made that joke up go on vacation?

Solitary confinement.

Kris Humidity Central
06/29/13 7:19 pm

Oh. My. God.

Yup. I'm going to hell, and I was just asked if I was choking

Cruz2016 Rum Bum Beach City
06/29/13 6:10 pm

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!

Cruz2016 Rum Bum Beach City
06/29/13 6:11 pm

Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"

Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"

Cruz2016 Rum Bum Beach City
06/29/13 6:11 pm

Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing
first!"

commonsense America isnt racist
06/29/13 6:09 pm

From my 6 year old daughter:

What do you call a fish with 10 eyes?



Fiiiiiiiiiish

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PuppyLvr In love with Listgarten
06/29/13 6:07 pm

A blonde, brunette, and redhead are in a car that breaks down in the desert. They leave the car to find help. The brunette takes, water, the redhead takes food, and the blonde takes a car door so she could roll the window down when it gets hot.

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thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:10 pm

Based on a true story

ZiggySpringer Fields of Trenzalore
06/29/13 6:07 pm

Annie: I don't know what it is but I just find Jews really hot.
Charlie: Maybe it's the ovens.
Annie: That's horrible!
Charlie: No, I can tell that joke, I have an oven.

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Doopy Remedial Americanism
06/29/13 6:03 pm

You could read my comment in Mr. Wolfe's latest poll, for starters. It's 2nd or 3rd rate material, but you put me on the spot...

inge MIA
06/29/13 6:03 pm

I expected better from you

Doopy Remedial Americanism
06/29/13 6:06 pm

I am melting right now. I'm an ice person in 80° weather. I think my comedy gland is cooking. I'm sorry.

Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/29/13 6:10 pm

It is unnaturally, disrespectfully, angrily hot here today. Every gland is cooking, even the important ones. I vote Doopy gets a pass.

inge MIA
06/29/13 6:17 pm

it's 108 here. quit cryin

Doopy Remedial Americanism
06/29/13 6:28 pm

What's the humidity like there? Cause here, it's like Santa's butt crack on his Cancun vacation when Mrs. Clause only packed his work suits.

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:02 pm

I'm guessing we don't have too many dead baby joke fans in here....

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MrEdwin Mystery
06/29/13 6:03 pm

Go for it

inge MIA
06/29/13 6:04 pm

No balls

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:05 pm

Seriously, I have one the worst jokes ever. I use it when I'm dragged somewhere I don't want to be. I say it, and walk away...no one bothers me after it

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:05 pm

OK....but it's ALL inges fault.

What sound does a baby make in the microwave?

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:09 pm

What sound does a baby make in the microwave?

I dunno, I was too busy jerking off.

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:09 pm

And now in out! Later y'all!

MrEdwin Mystery
06/29/13 6:10 pm

To the baby in the microwave? Pedophile.

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:12 pm

To the baby...melting in the microwave...


Like I said, it keeps people from bothering me

Capitan Elysium
06/29/13 6:13 pm

I suppose the "joke" serves its purpose to detract people from talking to you again effectively, well done old sport. *raises glass

cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 6:16 pm

Which way do you put a baby in the blender?

Feet first so you can see the expression on its face.

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:17 pm

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 6:18 pm

How do you make a dead baby float?

Milk, ice cream, dead baby

Processing On a journey to oneness.
06/29/13 6:24 pm

How do you make a dead baby shake?


Jumps up and down.

-- this is how some told her husband she was having a miscarriage.

JennaF sunflower state of mind
06/29/13 6:24 pm

Argh... Stupid emojis

jimiscott Survivor
06/29/13 6:02 pm

A little Indian boy asks his dad how he got his name. "Well son, running bear, your brother got his name because as he was born I looked out the window and saw a bear running. Why do you ask? Two dogs fucking"?

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Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/29/13 6:02 pm

Three guys, stranded on a deserted island, find a lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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rlands
06/29/13 6:04 pm

This is why if I ever found a magic lamp my friends would be allowed NOWHERE NEAR IT.

PuppyLvr In love with Listgarten
06/29/13 6:08 pm

Best thing to wish for since you can't have more wishes: more genies.

MrEdwin Mystery
06/29/13 6:01 pm

Go watch one of Gabriel Iglesias' show, he'll make you laugh.

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Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/29/13 5:56 pm

I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough... (Brian Kiley)

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rolltribe Ohio
06/29/13 5:56 pm

A husband argued to his wife that men have superior judgement skills than woman. The wife replied "of course dear, you married me, and I you"

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JackTorS Clap you stupid bastards
06/29/13 5:55 pm

My Hitler-shoes joke was pretty funny the other day.
Right now I got nothin' for ya.

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Processing On a journey to oneness.
06/29/13 5:54 pm

Hitler goes to a concentration camp and sees a little girl and ask, " why are you so happy?" Little girl responds "I'll turn 8 next week!" Hilter said, " No, you won't."

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Evseng2
06/29/13 5:57 pm

That's not reicht.
Seriously, are Jew kidding me??

inge MIA
06/29/13 5:57 pm

I'm a terrible human being.

Processing On a journey to oneness.
06/29/13 5:58 pm

Laughed didn't you Inge?

DavesNotHere where am I
06/29/13 6:01 pm

That's stupid

Sean Go Devils
06/30/13 12:57 am

Holy hell I laughed

DavesNotHere where am I
06/30/13 2:33 am

DO NOT tell a 'joke' like this again. It will result in your being reported. I'm assuming you can do better than this.

MrEdwin Mystery
06/30/13 2:36 am

Calm down, he didn't mean it.

DavesNotHere where am I
06/30/13 2:40 am

You cross a line, I get upset. I don't tolerate that kind if crap. I'm Jewish. And proud of it.

MrEdwin Mystery
06/30/13 2:43 am

Sorry the world doesn't revolve around you, how was he supposed to know you'd get offended by that joke?

DavesNotHere where am I
06/30/13 3:11 am

Are you that dumb? You think that's funny? Well, I guess I know the answer to that. You're shallow.

MrEdwin Mystery
06/30/13 3:13 am

Do you have nothing else to resort to other than insults? It appears so.

MrEdwin Mystery
06/30/13 3:17 am

You never even answered my question either.

DavesNotHere where am I
06/30/13 3:23 am

Eds, can you see why this might be upsetting to me? Are you that simple? Why are you taking the time to defend it so much? Have a nice Sunday.

MrEdwin Mystery
06/30/13 3:26 am

More insults please, I love knowing that you don't have an answer to my question.

Processing On a journey to oneness.
06/30/13 4:35 am

Diji- sticks and stones guy. If you're getting angry over words on a screen you're a little unstable.

Processing On a journey to oneness.
06/30/13 4:40 am

Also people like you are what's wrong with this country. People like you want everything to P.C. so there can't be truly open dialog because some one somewhere may get offended and contact the authorities. Get over it.

DavesNotHere where am I
06/30/13 5:03 am

I'm not PC. I'm far from perfect, but I don't hit below the belt. I'm a Jew , and I take offense to holocaust jokes. Maybe because people in my family died in it. To say I'm what's wrong with this country is ridiculous. I'm proud of the resilience

Processing On a journey to oneness.
06/30/13 5:07 am

Love how you assume I don't have family members who died trying to save Jews. Love how you assume I don't have Jewish blood with family who died in camps either. Again sticks and stones. Most adults would brush it off. Get over yourself.

DavesNotHere where am I
06/30/13 5:18 am

If you have Jewish blood and you told that 'joke', you're pathetic. Get help. And don't reply to me anymore. Get lost.

Processing On a journey to oneness.
06/30/13 5:22 am

They way I look at things: if you take life to seriously (as you seem to do) you're just going to die stressed and broken. You're the one who went on a crusade because you got offend by a handful of words instead of sucking it up and moving along.

DavesNotHere where am I
06/30/13 5:34 am

Um, I don't take life too seriously, but I have certain areas that are off limits for the sake of a joke. As for being in a crusade, you're the one who keeps replying to me, so I guess it's a back n forth thing. I didn't report you, nor do I plan to.

DavesNotHere where am I
06/30/13 5:36 am

Some things hit close to home for me. This is one of them. I'm entitled to that. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Shalom.

Processing On a journey to oneness.
06/30/13 5:38 am

So you have boundaries on things you deem offensive. But you're not P.C... Right.

FutureMD be nice to people
06/29/13 5:52 pm

The baby cow said to the mama cow "Why is my name Lily?" And mama cow said "Cause a lily petal fell on your head when you were born."
Another baby cow asked "why is my name Rose?"

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FutureMD be nice to people
06/29/13 5:53 pm

And the mama cow said "cause a rose petal fell on your head when you were born."
Then a third baby cow said "AUDNFJAKDUSJAGXKFB" and the mama cow said "shut up, cinderblock."

MrEdwin Mystery
06/29/13 5:53 pm

Why are they baby cows? O.o

DrReid Ever present.
06/29/13 5:55 pm

Talking cows???

FutureMD be nice to people
06/29/13 5:56 pm

The joke wouldn't be funny if they were human babies.

thatguy81 here
06/29/13 5:58 pm

Yes it would

zman117 Ohio
06/29/13 5:58 pm

If it was any other animal besides a cow then PETA would be all over it. Nobody cares about cows

MrEdwin Mystery
06/29/13 5:59 pm

Z you're wrong, I love steak.

inge MIA
06/29/13 5:59 pm

I love cows. Best pets ever

FutureMD be nice to people
06/29/13 6:00 pm

Just appreciate the joke.

DrReid Ever present.
06/29/13 6:03 pm

^ Hahahaha!

cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 6:42 pm

I woulda said that one if I knew it would've gotten that many likes.

Evseng2
06/29/13 5:52 pm

Who wants to hear a good story about a bridge??

DrReid Ever present.
06/29/13 5:52 pm

Hey guys, guess which emoji does work!❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❕❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔❔

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DrReid Ever present.
06/29/13 5:54 pm

I was trying to trick people... I feel goofy today.

TiltonAllStarz Outside Ur Comfort Zone
06/29/13 6:05 pm

❌⭕❗❓❕❔????????????????????〰〽????????????????????©®™✖➕➖➗✔????????♦♣♥♠☑????????➰????????????????????????▫????▪⚪◽⚫◾⬛◻⬜◼????????????????????⛎♓♒♑♐♏♈♉♊♋♌♍♎♻➿????????????????????????????????????✴✅❎????????????????⛔✳❇????????????????????????????㊗㊙????????????????????????♿????????????????Ⓜ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

ZiggySpringer Fields of Trenzalore
06/29/13 5:51 pm

A kindergarten teacher had told her students she was a democrat and she was painting democrats as better. She asked the kids how many of them wanted to be democrats. They all raised their hand except one little girl in the corner.

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ZiggySpringer Fields of Trenzalore
06/29/13 5:54 pm

The teacher asked why she didn't raise her hand. She said her parents were republicans so she was a republican. The teacher, angry, said "If your parents were idiots what would you be then?" The little girl paused a moment and then said.

DrReid Ever present.
06/29/13 5:56 pm

Oh dear...

ZiggySpringer Fields of Trenzalore
06/29/13 5:56 pm

"Then I'd be a Democrat."

You could think of it vice versa. Sorry about the political joke but it is one of my favorites and this is the way it was written I didn't change it for my opinions but it is an awesome joke.

TiltonAllStarz Outside Ur Comfort Zone
06/29/13 5:51 pm

Would a hard boiled bounce off my neighbors head if I throw it at him?

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inge MIA
06/29/13 5:55 pm

Hmm. Take an Instagram video please

Evseng2
06/29/13 5:58 pm

I'd get an Instagram JUST to see that happen

Doopy Remedial Americanism
06/29/13 6:22 pm

If you throw it with the proper velocity, it will explode.

sovereign1 Right here
06/29/13 11:17 pm

Definitely would if it was frozen. :-)

Rosebud Ohio
06/29/13 5:49 pm

Earlier friend taught daughter daddy is a beaner. She asked me what something was, I said a carribeaner. She said beaner? Daddy! And walked away.

MrWolfe Nashville
06/29/13 5:49 pm

Gimp bear. Eggplant. Slip & Slide.

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inge MIA
06/29/13 5:50 pm

Well now I'm just turned on

jimiscott Survivor
06/29/13 5:52 pm

Show them to me, un clasp your bra and set those puppies free.

Evseng2
06/29/13 5:54 pm

*George Takei*
Ohhh My!

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/29/13 5:56 pm

Evseng, you son of a....

Evseng2
06/29/13 5:59 pm

Hahaha!! Every damn time I do it.. There you are!

Evseng2
06/29/13 5:49 pm

Good talk.

Rosebud Ohio
06/29/13 5:50 pm

Apparently accidentally hitting submit on a blank comment posts now...

Evseng2
06/29/13 5:51 pm

That sucks..

Rosebud Ohio
06/29/13 6:00 pm

Yea.... I think that may get annoying.

xxreevisxx
06/29/13 5:47 pm

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Elephino.

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jimiscott Survivor
06/29/13 5:44 pm

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?????



You wave!!!????

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jimiscott Survivor
06/29/13 5:46 pm

My emoticons are not working for some reason.

inge MIA
06/29/13 5:46 pm

Only a few work. Look below

Evseng2
06/29/13 5:48 pm

I get enough cheesy Oklahoman humor from my mom, Jim????

PuppyLvr In love with Listgarten
06/29/13 5:44 pm

One day I woke up and walked into the bathroom. In the sink was a pile of toothpaste. I asked my sister if she had any odd dreams, knowing she sometimes sleepwalks. She said, "I saw a tube of toothpaste that said 'squeeze here.' So I did."

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cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 5:42 pm

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."...

cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 5:43 pm

The man consulted his portable GPS and Replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level.. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 5:49 pm

She rolled her eyes and said, you must be a republican". I am" replied the man. How did you know?"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information...

cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 5:51 pm

And I'm still stuck. Frankly, you've not been much help to me. The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 5:52 pm

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem...

cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 5:53 pm

You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's MY fault."

Ok that was the biggest pain ever getting that so hoped you laugh.

cheeseontop FactsOverFeelings
06/29/13 6:00 pm

And sorry, I realize it was a bit "cheesy". (Wink)

longhorn1 Kindocologist Hater
06/29/13 5:41 pm

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat...

The wheelchair.

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BigKennyShow Welcome to the basement
06/29/13 5:42 pm

Only the metal parts. The leather seat and the rubber on the wheels aren't too bad.

inge MIA
06/29/13 5:43 pm

KENNY!!

inge MIA
06/29/13 5:44 pm

Awww. Hi :)