Show of HandsShow of Hands

OhTheIrony June 2nd, 2014 8:49pm

A girl just fell off her bike in front of me and was bleeding profusely in her vaginal area. As the first person on the scene, I comforted her and called 911. An older lady who stopped to help hinted I should leave b/c of my sex. Should I have left?

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Injectable Mojave Mo Problems
06/03/14 9:29 pm

No. You shouldn't leave the scene of an accident until the proper people arrive to take over. Be more worried about liability than social discomfort.

Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/03/14 7:59 pm

It makes no difference who they are or where they're damaged, if I'm able to help, I'm helping. Old people almost always mean well, but sometimes it's best to politely ignore them.

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dxstap Bloomington, Indiana
06/03/14 8:37 pm

I take your comments as a slam against old people. The question said it was an older lady. But it could have been anyone. I don't think she hinted for him to leave because she was old.

Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/03/14 8:44 pm

You won't find many my age or younger in this country who would suggest the sex of the victim and person offering first aid would be an issue. At all. It's hard to imagine, but many of our older people grew up in a very repressive time.

Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/03/14 8:46 pm

Why would she suggest he leave if she hadn't been elderly? Because she probably wouldn't have. My generation and younger (and even a little older) grew up in a coed environment.

Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/03/14 8:51 pm

I'm actually trying to give her the benefit if the doubt because she is elderly. Because otherwise her attitude is impossible to make an excuse for.

dxstap Bloomington, Indiana
06/03/14 8:54 pm

I assume you're talking about those raised during the depression. Anyone younger than that generation wouldn't restrict help based on gender.
As a 60's kid, I'd like to think we would help this young girl or anyone else of either gender.

OhTheIrony Learning from you
06/03/14 9:04 pm

She was in her 50s. Zod is clearly not bashing old people. Don't be ridiculous.

2katz I live in Nebraska
06/03/14 9:16 pm

50's is being considered "elderly" here?

OhTheIrony Learning from you
06/03/14 9:20 pm

I said "older lady" not elderly, haha.

2katz I live in Nebraska
06/03/14 9:23 pm

If she had been say, black or Hispanic, would you have said "this black lady hinted that I should leave?"

OhTheIrony Learning from you
06/03/14 9:26 pm

No, her skin color would have been irrelevant to the question. In this case, the age provides additional context for the situation because most people know I'm a college student. By specifying her age, I imply that she is not a student.

2katz I live in Nebraska
06/03/14 7:16 pm

It's an odd thing. When I was in nursing school in the 60's, our two male classmates (both married, one with kids) were forbidden to be in the delivery room by 3 of the big wheel OB docs -- who were male. We couldn't figure that out.

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2katz I live in Nebraska
06/03/14 7:13 pm

The only thing I can think of that might explain her concern is that maybe she felt the young girl would be embarrassed or feel extremely vulnerable because of the location of the bleeding. Was it possibly menstrual blood or injury?

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OhTheIrony Learning from you
06/03/14 8:07 pm

The girl told us that she had recently torn something down there(I don't remember exactly what she said) and that this injury probably had reopened that wound.

I'm hoping she's better now. It's been more than 24 hours.

Zimmeress Make Me Laugh
06/03/14 8:39 pm

How awful to have it happen twice. I imagine it was the older lady trying to protect the little girl's innocence. She was trying to be nice. You shouldn't take it personally.

Zimmeress Make Me Laugh
06/03/14 8:41 pm

That's just what older people do, their generation was different from ours. You are very kind to stop and help and continue to stay. How ridiculous that not everyone around didn't do the same. Ugh.

2katz I live in Nebraska
06/03/14 9:14 pm

I'd like to think that all of us "older people" aren't being written off as "just being like that" by the younger folks on SOH who expect to be considered credible and knowledgable by everyone.

Zimmeress Make Me Laugh
06/03/14 9:16 pm

Not all. Just the ones who grew up with a lot of conservative thoughts and lessons from their parents that they kept while the world evolved around them. You'll see it in small towns across the country. It's just some elders.

Zimmeress Make Me Laugh
06/03/14 9:17 pm

And it's not really a fault, per se. Just ignorance and an unchanged environmental life.

2katz I live in Nebraska
06/03/14 9:19 pm

Zim, that describes me. I'm 66 and I now live in the same small town I grew up in. I'm not ignorant. But these comments are feeling ignorant and offensive now.

OhTheIrony Learning from you
06/03/14 9:20 pm

I certainly don't write off all older people like that. That's a huge generalization. The elderly are a source of tremendous wisdom.

Most young people get old before they die, you know. I wouldn't want to hate myself when I get older.

Zimmeress Make Me Laugh
06/03/14 9:25 pm

I was never trying to offend you. I promise. Like I said, it's not all old people. Realistically, I don't see them as old - who am I to say they are old? I just have met and known people that grew up differently than I. Whether it was a different...

Zimmeress Make Me Laugh
06/03/14 9:26 pm

place or generation. My mother would have been one of those to say maybe you should go on, I'll take care of this. That's in her mindset that the little girl might be more comfortable with her. As a woman. Yes, *I* realize it's not the correct way...

Zimmeress Make Me Laugh
06/03/14 9:28 pm

to deal with this situation. But she, and any other people like her, think they are doing the right thing. It's a difficult world to keep up with. All the changes and political corrected-ness. Everyone's has an opinion on how to deal with a situation

Zimmeress Make Me Laugh
06/03/14 9:28 pm

And not everyone will respond the same and think maybe others dealt with it the 'wrong' way. I think you and I are on the same page, I'm just describing what I see/know. Not a fact, just observations.

OhTheIrony Learning from you
06/03/14 9:35 pm

Sorry if anyone offended you because of my poll, 2katz. I'm sure that was not their intent.

I love old people personally. I could spend hours talking to them, listening to their stories. Most are far more interesting than people my age.

2katz I live in Nebraska
06/03/14 9:45 pm

Irony - LOL -- I understand. I might also mention some of my best friends are blacks and gays. ;-)

JennaF sunflower state of mind
06/03/14 7:04 pm

This makes me mad. I can't believe someone would even consider this in the case of emergency.

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Tariq88 Utah
06/03/14 7:03 pm

It doesn't where they are injured, you definitely did the thing.

dawl adulting
06/02/14 6:52 pm

You did the right thing but it would be up to the injured person, not grandma. I can't blame her for having an old fashioned point of view, that's just a generational gap.

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PartyFree Nowhere in Particular
06/02/14 4:29 pm

As a female, I can tell you that in this situation I would appreciate assistance and support from someone regardless of gender. You were right to stay and be of assistance.

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inge MIA
06/02/14 3:58 pm

You did the right thing.

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Whichendisup uniquely unoriginal
06/02/14 3:14 pm

that is one of THE most stupid things I have heard in a very long time.

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Kay41 the Midwest
06/02/14 2:07 pm

No. Staying was the right and compassionate thing to do.

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TierasPet
06/02/14 2:56 pm

Exactly.

usernamehere Raise a little hell
06/02/14 2:06 pm

Of course not. You were caring for an injured person. To hell with the old lady, you're doing the right thing.

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GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
06/03/14 9:41 pm

The "old lady" was in her 50's. (OhTheIrony clarified this in another comment.)

PrinceOberyn Euoi Dionysos
06/02/14 1:58 pm

Of course not. You were caring for a possibly injured child.

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OhTheIrony Learning from you
06/02/14 1:51 pm

I think it's a sad state of affairs when people are worried about embarrassment when discussing medical issues.

I wanted to wait until the ambulance arrived so that I know she is getting the medical attention she needs. My sex shouldn't matter.

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OhTheIrony Learning from you
06/02/14 1:53 pm

It was a fairly crowded area. No other male student stopped to help. Only females.

How sexually repressed is a society where the men do not help their women because they're worried about embarrassing them?

I'm very angry right now.

Rainey 633 Stag Trail Road
06/02/14 1:55 pm

That's ridiculous. Good for you for staying there. I know if I were hurt I wouldn't care what sex was helping me as long as someone was there.

alek12 Orlando
06/02/14 1:57 pm

That's crazy! I'm happy you stayed and helped. Don't let others tell you to leave. That just makes me shake my head.

veritas1 Panda
06/02/14 2:43 pm

Is the fact that no other male student stopped a consequence this irrational stigma? That would make society's push for sensitivity entirely self-defeating in situations like this.

OhTheIrony Learning from you
06/02/14 2:52 pm

That was my assumption, yes.

Anyone who saw her would have been able to clearly see where she was bleeding. I'm assuming the men must have decided against helping because it was a sexually sensitive injury.

susanr Colorado
06/02/14 9:18 pm

On behalf of sane old people, I apologize for what this silly woman felt & said.

Not much I can do about the younger males who weren't helpful, but I'm glad you were.

GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
06/03/14 9:38 pm

As an "older lady" (71), I second what Susan said.