A girl just fell off her bike in front of me and was bleeding profusely in her vaginal area. As the first person on the scene, I comforted her and called 911. An older lady who stopped to help hinted I should leave b/c of my sex. Should I have left?
It makes no difference who they are or where they're damaged, if I'm able to help, I'm helping. Old people almost always mean well, but sometimes it's best to politely ignore them.
I take your comments as a slam against old people. The question said it was an older lady. But it could have been anyone. I don't think she hinted for him to leave because she was old.
You won't find many my age or younger in this country who would suggest the sex of the victim and person offering first aid would be an issue. At all. It's hard to imagine, but many of our older people grew up in a very repressive time.
Why would she suggest he leave if she hadn't been elderly? Because she probably wouldn't have. My generation and younger (and even a little older) grew up in a coed environment.
I assume you're talking about those raised during the depression. Anyone younger than that generation wouldn't restrict help based on gender.
As a 60's kid, I'd like to think we would help this young girl or anyone else of either gender.
No, her skin color would have been irrelevant to the question. In this case, the age provides additional context for the situation because most people know I'm a college student. By specifying her age, I imply that she is not a student.
It's an odd thing. When I was in nursing school in the 60's, our two male classmates (both married, one with kids) were forbidden to be in the delivery room by 3 of the big wheel OB docs -- who were male. We couldn't figure that out.
The only thing I can think of that might explain her concern is that maybe she felt the young girl would be embarrassed or feel extremely vulnerable because of the location of the bleeding. Was it possibly menstrual blood or injury?
The girl told us that she had recently torn something down there(I don't remember exactly what she said) and that this injury probably had reopened that wound.
I'm hoping she's better now. It's been more than 24 hours.
How awful to have it happen twice. I imagine it was the older lady trying to protect the little girl's innocence. She was trying to be nice. You shouldn't take it personally.
That's just what older people do, their generation was different from ours. You are very kind to stop and help and continue to stay. How ridiculous that not everyone around didn't do the same. Ugh.
I'd like to think that all of us "older people" aren't being written off as "just being like that" by the younger folks on SOH who expect to be considered credible and knowledgable by everyone.
Not all. Just the ones who grew up with a lot of conservative thoughts and lessons from their parents that they kept while the world evolved around them. You'll see it in small towns across the country. It's just some elders.
Zim, that describes me. I'm 66 and I now live in the same small town I grew up in. I'm not ignorant. But these comments are feeling ignorant and offensive now.
I was never trying to offend you. I promise. Like I said, it's not all old people. Realistically, I don't see them as old - who am I to say they are old? I just have met and known people that grew up differently than I. Whether it was a different...
place or generation. My mother would have been one of those to say maybe you should go on, I'll take care of this. That's in her mindset that the little girl might be more comfortable with her. As a woman. Yes, *I* realize it's not the correct way...
to deal with this situation. But she, and any other people like her, think they are doing the right thing. It's a difficult world to keep up with. All the changes and political corrected-ness. Everyone's has an opinion on how to deal with a situation
And not everyone will respond the same and think maybe others dealt with it the 'wrong' way. I think you and I are on the same page, I'm just describing what I see/know. Not a fact, just observations.
You did the right thing but it would be up to the injured person, not grandma. I can't blame her for having an old fashioned point of view, that's just a generational gap.
As a female, I can tell you that in this situation I would appreciate assistance and support from someone regardless of gender. You were right to stay and be of assistance.
Is the fact that no other male student stopped a consequence this irrational stigma? That would make society's push for sensitivity entirely self-defeating in situations like this.
Anyone who saw her would have been able to clearly see where she was bleeding. I'm assuming the men must have decided against helping because it was a sexually sensitive injury.
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