2040 Presidential Election: It is a tight race and it turns out that you have the deciding vote. The candidates are DoctorWasdarb and Luftwaffe. Whom do you vote for?
Depends. Do I get a Cabinet position, @DoctorWasdarb ? I’d like to be Secretary of Cracker Control.
Sorry, that job is going to a black person. You can have a position elsewhere, if you'd like.
Can I be an ambassador and head our armed forces, like Che? I’m really trying not to get stuck with something boring, like Secretary of Agriculture. Put me on firing squad duty if you must.
Ambassador to Venezuela?
Make that all of Spanish-speaking South America, and we have a deal, Mr. President.
Hell, I’d vote for Luft over any democrat. Voting for him over a commie is easy.
Wasdarb, hands down. Despite all his Communist rhetoric, he is goodhearted by nature and completely incorruptible by wealth, which would make him an excellent President even against most less extreme candidates.
I would vote for a farm animal over Wasdarb.
Your humor never ceases to make me laugh.
I would find a honest independent Conservative & not vote for either of them🤨 !
And thus you thrust America into a crisis because no one has enough votes to win the presidency.
Better that, than the total anarchy rabbit hole we are now free falling in now, which could precipitate a second Civil War, between Red & Blue States🤨‼️
I would've seen the writing on the wall sometime during the primaries, and relocated to Australia or Canada.
Isn't that a sorry lack of ambition? If you're the deciding vote, the ONLY deciding vote, you have all the leverage and power at your hands. I'm already haggling with Wasdarb below....
I can't vote for a communist or a Nazi sympathizer. If those are the choices, America's already half in the toilet. Trump-Clinton was bad enough.
I'm not voting for either a communist or a nazi. I'm choosing whoever will A) Have a better offer for me and B) Who would be easiest to shove the figurative knife in the back when the time comes.
They both know that, too, but in this scenario they're still under my leash anyway.
Not the commie.
This is literally what I’d write on the ballot
The one who loves his nation.
There’s only one option that represents true freedom in the voting booth, and that option is pulling the trigger.
Why would I want a America-hating communist to run this country?
No offense @DoctorWasdarb
Wow that was really bad grammar...
I'd be better than all the preceding patriots haha
I don’t think Luftwaffe would be a much better pick though..
Hey, I'm winning!
I’d vote for you.
They both hate Israel! But the question is who hates Israel more?
I don't know. I reject Israel's claim to legitimate statehood. Don't know about @Luftwaffe
I think he views it the same way?
I think? I've summoned him to let us know
It really depends on what they're willing to offer me for it. I lean Wasdarb, but I'm going to need something for my vote.
How does exile on a small, Pacific island, where you'll remain for the rest of your life, yet never have to work, sound?
Good. Got him out of the way
I don't do exile. You do realize @Luftwaffe is Trump but worse? You'll only win by one vote. He'll contest your election, and he'll rally his people to his side.
If you want the presidency, you give me the CIA and a Secretary of Defense of my choosing.
Unless @Luftwaffe can give me a better offer....
No way you're getting the CIA. The fact that you won't be locked up in a gulag is already a good bargain. Plus I give you a private island. You have nothing to complain about.
You are failing to realize the position you're in here, wasdarb. In this scenario I have the final decision on the election, and thus the arbiter of this nation's future. I'm the one in the position of authority here, not you. Making idle threats will not help your case. Threats you would not be able to act upon until after you've won. You haven't won yet.
It's the CIA or I hand over this country to the Nazi.
Sounds like civil war will ensue. But Luftwaffe of course
Great choices going with...
Lol! I guess great minds think exactly alike (see above). 😂