Show of HandsShow of Hands

swervin November 19th, 2014 5:07pm

Imagine your job made it so you were around 300 other people 24/7 for months at a time. Would it be rude when you finally made it back home to ask for one day alone? (Alone as in not with your family)

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elianastar Gab.ai FreeSpeech
11/19/14 3:52 pm

Sorry. Even if it *was* rude, it is *totally* reasonable!

LadyA Earth Explorer
11/19/14 3:19 pm

I think so. While I understand your family has been without you for said period of time and probably long for your company.

Compromise and watch a movie snuggled up. That way you can mentally check out while still being physically close.

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Diogenes FreeMeBe
11/19/14 2:36 pm

Hell no! We finally got to take a family-less vacation after 6 years. It was divine!

bethanyq Ess Eff
11/19/14 1:38 pm

Not inherently, although the way that need is communicated certainly could come across as rude.

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bethanyq Ess Eff
11/19/14 1:39 pm

It's also important to keep in mind the different personalities of the family. Some people can't help but take it as a rejection, and their emotional needs are valid too. So it's important to take time to communicate and both to balance things.

Diogenes FreeMeBe
11/19/14 2:36 pm

They're family and will get over it.

bethanyq Ess Eff
11/19/14 2:48 pm

That's a really dismissive viewpoint. I'm guessing you were never emotionally neglected as a kid then? As someone who was, I can assure you that it has lasting and damaging effects.

I'm not saying that needing alone time equals neglect - but writing

bethanyq Ess Eff
11/19/14 2:49 pm

off the emotional needs of family members like that comes across as incredibly callous.

Maj Worth Economist
11/19/14 1:17 pm

This is a tough situation. On the one hand, you have the perspective of the Worker (soldier, in this case) wanting to spend time away from everyone.

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Maj Worth Economist
11/19/14 1:21 pm

On the other, a family has missed that person dearly & wants to spend every possible moment with them before the person leaves again. I can see how they could interpret the desire to be alone as not being missed as much as they missed the person.

Maj Worth Economist
11/19/14 1:22 pm

It's the sort of situation where my solution would be to delay coming home by one day and spend that one gap day alone. Or leave one day early and do the same.

Maj Worth Economist
11/19/14 1:23 pm

So while I don't think it's necessarily rude to ask for alone time, I can understand some people being hurt or offended by the request.

BrittneyBunny Maryland
11/20/14 8:03 am

"I wish you could pack up Elliot and spend the day with your Mom so I can be alone".

Maj Worth Economist
11/20/14 8:12 am

If that's the way it was said, I'd kick him in the balls.

BrittneyBunny Maryland
11/20/14 3:03 pm

Thank you!! He's leaves this crap out everytime he tries to get SOH to side with him.

WildRice With a side of sass
11/19/14 12:36 pm

Not rude but I think it would go both ways. If your spouse needs a break once you're back I think it's fair too. It's tough for sure... I think you guys will find a good balance

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
11/19/14 11:57 am

Aww, when I read this I pictured a 5yo running in screaming "Daddy! Daddy! I missed you soo much!" And responding back "Jesus Christ kid! One day! One day! Is that too much to ask?"

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
11/19/14 11:58 am

I'd say, rude to the kids, but adults should understand

chickencookie It really is
11/19/14 11:39 am

I would tell Brit (if you are indeed talking about yourself) that you need to do this while you are still at sea so she doesn't get hurt. She also doesn't have it easy now so I would at some point give her a day off too.

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swervin Maryland
11/19/14 12:47 pm

I was indeed, and I did. I got called out on facebook for being rude. I wanted to know if I was for asking for some me time. I thought it was typical for everyone to want some alone time now and then?

TierasPet
11/19/14 11:11 am

No. I work around far fewer people for less time and I still want days to myself.

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Pirate Uses the Tap
11/19/14 10:29 am

I would desperately need time alone. I would and have lied to get some me time. I was not out to harm anyone and didn't. We all need our time alone which in turn helps others in the long run.

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swervin Maryland
11/19/14 10:36 am

That was my way of thinking. I wouldn't lie though, that would just mask the problem instead of trying to resolve it.

Pirate Uses the Tap
11/19/14 10:38 am

You are right about the lying. It was just my situation at the time.

twss trump is a garbage human
11/19/14 10:25 am

I need my time alone. Even if it's rare. I have a 3 and an almost 5 year old. Alone time is necessary.

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WildRice With a side of sass
11/19/14 12:35 pm

Word. We have the same plus a 20 mo old. If I get to go to the bathroom or shower solo I'm pretty thrilled

twss trump is a garbage human
11/19/14 12:38 pm

I feel your pain! Little ones are fun but alone time is hard to come by :)

MrMilkdud
11/19/14 10:16 am

No. But on the other hand, imagine your job meant being home alone with a baby 24/7 for months at a time. When your spouse finally comes back it might not be easy to be told that you have to spend another day by yourself with the baby.

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swervin Maryland
11/19/14 10:21 am

That would not be fair either, lucky the spouse in this case has a support network of friends, so the spouse isn't really truly alone with the baby.