Imagine your job made it so you were around 300 other people 24/7 for months at a time. Would it be rude when you finally made it back home to ask for one day alone? (Alone as in not with your family)
Sorry. Even if it *was* rude, it is *totally* reasonable!
I think so. While I understand your family has been without you for said period of time and probably long for your company.
Compromise and watch a movie snuggled up. That way you can mentally check out while still being physically close.
Hell no! We finally got to take a family-less vacation after 6 years. It was divine!
Not inherently, although the way that need is communicated certainly could come across as rude.
It's also important to keep in mind the different personalities of the family. Some people can't help but take it as a rejection, and their emotional needs are valid too. So it's important to take time to communicate and both to balance things.
They're family and will get over it.
That's a really dismissive viewpoint. I'm guessing you were never emotionally neglected as a kid then? As someone who was, I can assure you that it has lasting and damaging effects.
I'm not saying that needing alone time equals neglect - but writing
off the emotional needs of family members like that comes across as incredibly callous.
This is a tough situation. On the one hand, you have the perspective of the Worker (soldier, in this case) wanting to spend time away from everyone.
On the other, a family has missed that person dearly & wants to spend every possible moment with them before the person leaves again. I can see how they could interpret the desire to be alone as not being missed as much as they missed the person.
It's the sort of situation where my solution would be to delay coming home by one day and spend that one gap day alone. Or leave one day early and do the same.
So while I don't think it's necessarily rude to ask for alone time, I can understand some people being hurt or offended by the request.
"I wish you could pack up Elliot and spend the day with your Mom so I can be alone".
If that's the way it was said, I'd kick him in the balls.
Thank you!! He's leaves this crap out everytime he tries to get SOH to side with him.
Not rude but I think it would go both ways. If your spouse needs a break once you're back I think it's fair too. It's tough for sure... I think you guys will find a good balance
Aww, when I read this I pictured a 5yo running in screaming "Daddy! Daddy! I missed you soo much!" And responding back "Jesus Christ kid! One day! One day! Is that too much to ask?"
I'd say, rude to the kids, but adults should understand
God, I wish he was 5 years old!
I would tell Brit (if you are indeed talking about yourself) that you need to do this while you are still at sea so she doesn't get hurt. She also doesn't have it easy now so I would at some point give her a day off too.
I was indeed, and I did. I got called out on facebook for being rude. I wanted to know if I was for asking for some me time. I thought it was typical for everyone to want some alone time now and then?
No. I work around far fewer people for less time and I still want days to myself.
I would desperately need time alone. I would and have lied to get some me time. I was not out to harm anyone and didn't. We all need our time alone which in turn helps others in the long run.
That was my way of thinking. I wouldn't lie though, that would just mask the problem instead of trying to resolve it.
You are right about the lying. It was just my situation at the time.
I need my time alone. Even if it's rare. I have a 3 and an almost 5 year old. Alone time is necessary.
Word. We have the same plus a 20 mo old. If I get to go to the bathroom or shower solo I'm pretty thrilled
I feel your pain! Little ones are fun but alone time is hard to come by :)
No. But on the other hand, imagine your job meant being home alone with a baby 24/7 for months at a time. When your spouse finally comes back it might not be easy to be told that you have to spend another day by yourself with the baby.
That would not be fair either, lucky the spouse in this case has a support network of friends, so the spouse isn't really truly alone with the baby.