Shazam is bored, let's entertain him. Give him your favorite corny joke....go!
Your momma so mean, I had to take a bus, a train and two airplanes just to get on her good side..
Did you just fart? Because you blew me away.
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
Man's dying wish is to be burried with his $75,000 savings. Wife promised. At funeral she was seen putting a small box in the coffin. Friends said you $75k in the ground. Yes she said. As a Christian I had to keep my word, so I wrote him a check
Shazam, you should watch the hockey game.
Then you won't be bored.
The only part I really enjoy about hockey is the zamboni!
I went to a fight one time and a hockey game broke out...
A woman had a very rebellious parrot. Not only did it have an incredibly foul mouth. But he would get into all sorts of trouble. One day she even caught the bird having sex with a chicken.
The woman had had enough. So to shame the bird, she shaved
It's head completely bald. The bird did not like this one bit. The woman did not think this was enough though so she had the parrot work for her the next day. At a wedding he was to instruct people where to sit.
The parrot, although displeased, did his job. He instructed everybody to their correct spots. But then the bird saw a bald man walk in and told the man, "stay here with me. Us chicken fuckers have to stick together!"
Lol Shazaam when you said you loved parrot and chicken jokes, all of a sudden a bunch are coming to mind. My grandpa loved them and had a bunch of good ones
Old one but a goody!
That the sound of you hitting the floor last night? No, wait! That was "thud" lmao
a Parrot who?
(I never hit the floor, but I did hit my pillow with a thud)
A parrot who!
You don't remember being asked if you'd passed out and your reply was "thud"? It was hilarious!!!!
lol... No.. No I don't..
:( we need to do that again on a night I'm not on a mission.
Wait....who the fuck is at the door!!?!?!?
A parrot who dammit!
Ohhhhhh....I get it.
And there's your parrot joke..
Annnd yer welcome.
Did you hear the one about the jump rope?
Just skip it then.
I'll show myself out.
What's better than roses on your piano?
I don't know? What's better?
Tulips on your organ.
(Last one lol)
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large! xD
Confucius say "Man who sits on tall toilet is high on pot."
Confucius say man who fly upside down in airplane have hairy crack up ;)
Confucius say "man who farts in church sits in his own pew. "
Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a beer, and one for the road."
How do you make soup rich?
Add 14 carrots.
What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion?
An ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
Did you hear about the skunk who went to church and sat in his own pew ?
Ba dum dum
The professor asked if I learned anything about nitrates. I said, "yep. They're cheaper than day rates".
I am particularly partial to jokes about chickens or parrots. I've never heard one I didn't think was funny!
There was a woman that was suspicious that her husband was having an affair. She tried many different methods to find out if it was indeed true or not. Well one day when she was in a pet store she saw a talking parrot. She asked the owner about
The bird. The store owner said that the parrot was the best he had ever seen at describing things. So the lady said, "that is exactly what I need!"
He responded, "the only thing is the bird hangs onto his perch using his penis"
The woman didn't see why that was a problem, so she bought the bird. That night she set the bird's cage down in the bedroom. She said, "now when I'm gone, I want you to tell me everything that happens." Then she left.
The next morning she returned and asked the parrot what happened the night before. The bird said "a man and woman came into the room" "then the man and woman started kissing"
"Go on" the woman said.
"The man took off the woman's clothes next."
"I don't know, I fell."
What kind of horse goes out only at night?
A Night-Mare!!! xD
I liked mine more!