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KatG October 18th, 2013 2:41am

Shazam is bored, let's entertain him. Give him your favorite corny joke....go!

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mikeey1962 on SOH where else
10/20/13 3:28 pm

Your momma so mean, I had to take a bus, a train and two airplanes just to get on her good side..

rower14
10/18/13 5:05 am

Did you just fart? Because you blew me away.

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impeachtheman Top Secret
10/18/13 3:14 am

Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

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doctalk not all who wander r lost
10/17/13 10:17 pm

Man's dying wish is to be burried with his $75,000 savings. Wife promised. At funeral she was seen putting a small box in the coffin. Friends said you $75k in the ground. Yes she said. As a Christian I had to keep my word, so I wrote him a check

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Kris Humidity Central
10/17/13 8:09 pm

Shazam, you should watch the hockey game.
Then you won't be bored.

Shazam Scaramouche, OH
10/17/13 8:39 pm

The only part I really enjoy about hockey is the zamboni!

mikeey1962 on SOH where else
10/20/13 3:28 pm

I went to a fight one time and a hockey game broke out...

zman117 Ohio
10/17/13 8:05 pm

A woman had a very rebellious parrot. Not only did it have an incredibly foul mouth. But he would get into all sorts of trouble. One day she even caught the bird having sex with a chicken.
The woman had had enough. So to shame the bird, she shaved

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zman117 Ohio
10/17/13 8:05 pm

It's head completely bald. The bird did not like this one bit. The woman did not think this was enough though so she had the parrot work for her the next day. At a wedding he was to instruct people where to sit.

zman117 Ohio
10/17/13 8:06 pm

The parrot, although displeased, did his job. He instructed everybody to their correct spots. But then the bird saw a bald man walk in and told the man, "stay here with me. Us chicken fuckers have to stick together!"

zman117 Ohio
10/17/13 8:07 pm

Lol Shazaam when you said you loved parrot and chicken jokes, all of a sudden a bunch are coming to mind. My grandpa loved them and had a bunch of good ones

KatG Liberal in Ohio
10/17/13 7:59 pm

That the sound of you hitting the floor last night? No, wait! That was "thud" lmao

Rob Be Safe Be Smart
10/17/13 8:00 pm

(I never hit the floor, but I did hit my pillow with a thud)

KatG Liberal in Ohio
10/17/13 8:02 pm

You don't remember being asked if you'd passed out and your reply was "thud"? It was hilarious!!!!

Rob Be Safe Be Smart
10/17/13 8:06 pm

lol... No.. No I don't..
:( we need to do that again on a night I'm not on a mission.

Shazam Scaramouche, OH
10/17/13 8:41 pm

Wait....who the fuck is at the door!!?!?!?

Shazam Scaramouche, OH
10/17/13 8:55 pm

Ohhhhhh....I get it.

Rob Be Safe Be Smart
10/17/13 8:56 pm

And there's your parrot joke..
Annnd yer welcome.

KatG Liberal in Ohio
10/17/13 7:49 pm

Did you hear the one about the jump rope?

No?

Just skip it then.

I'll show myself out.

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Shazam Scaramouche, OH
10/17/13 8:43 pm

What's better than roses on your piano?

Ernest Make it so
10/17/13 7:49 pm

(Last one lol)

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?

Ernest Make it so
10/17/13 7:49 pm

A small medium at large! xD

Kay41 the Midwest
10/17/13 7:48 pm

Confucius say "Man who sits on tall toilet is high on pot."

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KatG Liberal in Ohio
10/17/13 7:50 pm

Confucius say man who fly upside down in airplane have hairy crack up ;)

Kay41 the Midwest
10/17/13 7:52 pm

Love it!
Confucius say "man who farts in church sits in his own pew. "

Ernest Make it so
10/17/13 7:48 pm

Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a beer, and one for the road."

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DavesNotHere where am I
10/17/13 7:46 pm

How do you make soup rich?

Add 14 carrots.

What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion?

An ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

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thebob Medford Oregon
10/17/13 7:44 pm

Did you hear about the skunk who went to church and sat in his own pew ?

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thebob Medford Oregon
10/17/13 7:49 pm

The professor asked if I learned anything about nitrates. I said, "yep. They're cheaper than day rates".

Shazam Scaramouche, OH
10/17/13 7:43 pm

I am particularly partial to jokes about chickens or parrots. I've never heard one I didn't think was funny!

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zman117 Ohio
10/17/13 7:56 pm

There was a woman that was suspicious that her husband was having an affair. She tried many different methods to find out if it was indeed true or not. Well one day when she was in a pet store she saw a talking parrot. She asked the owner about

zman117 Ohio
10/17/13 7:56 pm

The bird. The store owner said that the parrot was the best he had ever seen at describing things. So the lady said, "that is exactly what I need!"
He responded, "the only thing is the bird hangs onto his perch using his penis"

zman117 Ohio
10/17/13 7:57 pm

The woman didn't see why that was a problem, so she bought the bird. That night she set the bird's cage down in the bedroom. She said, "now when I'm gone, I want you to tell me everything that happens." Then she left.

zman117 Ohio
10/17/13 7:58 pm

The next morning she returned and asked the parrot what happened the night before. The bird said "a man and woman came into the room" "then the man and woman started kissing"

zman117 Ohio
10/17/13 7:58 pm

"Go on" the woman said.
"The man took off the woman's clothes next."
"Then what?!!"
"I don't know, I fell."

Ernest Make it so
10/17/13 7:43 pm

What kind of horse goes out only at night?

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Shazam Scaramouche, OH
10/17/13 7:44 pm

A zzzzzzzzzebra?

Ernest Make it so
10/17/13 7:44 pm

A Night-Mare!!! xD