Kid (15) forgot his ID at home and the compromise: I charge $10 for ID delivery to be worked off in yard work and tool polishing at $2.50 an hour. Reasonable?
What we don't know is the relationship between you and your son. Is yard work something he's used to helping with? It didn't sound like this "horrible exploitation" has hurt your relationship. Is he upset now? Was he really upset at all?
Not once, in fact, proud of what he did accomplish, we laid stepping stones
There ya go. Don't second-guess yourself on this one then. You sound like a good dad. I think your super-upset critics here have other personal issues.
And it sounds like the two of you negotiated this deal ("the compromise"). "I'll bring your id, if you promise to help me with ..."
Do I have that right?
Right, how the question was written was basically how the phone conversation went
Then, I can't see the big deal some people are making out if it!
Yes if he got pulled over, no if he didn't. Who among us hasn't forgotten are I'd at least once before.
We had this thing at work, if you forget your ID, you put $10 into the coffee fund
If it's a regular occurrence, then maybe. I am an enabler, so I wouldn't do that. Plus, I'm pretty forgetful too.
No. This is what we call a favor. Just as children should learn work ethic, they should also learn generosity and kindness. Not to mention, $2.50 is a ridiculously low wage and 4 hours work for something that took you about 20 minutes to do is insane
I agree 100%.
Make it 2 hours of work, not 4.
Wow, flashbacks to my childhood. You aren't from the south by any chance? Haha
Mine would've said tough and not brought it
Haha mine would've brought it if it was convenient for them, yelled at me in front of everyone, then whip my butt. But that's just my dad.
Aww, that sucks. I don't lay hands on him, especially for forgetting crap
Haha but your son is only 15? So I think that's past the age of whippens. Either way-good for you. He'll be a better man because of it!
Lol, some don't think so
At least $5 or minimum wage
Moot point, I'd have to charge more for delivery to pay for labor
Just bob, corporations do not have that kind of rate of return. You're a greedy bastard.
Wow, haven't been called a bastard in awhile. This goes beyond rate of return, the aim was accountability, and the notion that mistakes, even little ones, cost. What would be the point if it's not something he really cares about?
Does he often make this mistake or similar mistakes? What is he learning from this? "Don't ask dad for help, even when I need it, the cost for his help might be steeper than I can afford to pay." Or "don't be kind or generous and NEVER do someone a
I'm hoping he learns: make sure I have everything I need for school. I often post dilemmas like this as my own little sanity check, to gauge if I'm doing the right thing, by the results, I'm comfortable. Update, he is still alive :) so that's good
I can just see the future now: Jr. Is at a party and gets drunk. Now, he knows he's gonna get in trouble, but instead of calling you, because you know, your prices are so high, he gets behind the wheel and bang! He's dead.
Fingers crossed, I'm pretty sure that all the teens that died in drunk driving accidents didn't get there from repressed memories of yard work, but we will see
I have to assume all your "punishments" are similar. Therefore the lesson is, "I can't count on dad."
Mine would've let me go without it, and that taught me to rely on myself without killing me in a car wreck, some may not agree with their method either but I turned out fine, and I'm comfortable, so will he.
Mine didn't punish me for honest mistakes, yet I grew up to be kind, generous, and disciplined. I'm 100% self sufficient and I didn't get punished for being human. Imagine that.
I get it, I think whatever course of action I would've took, I wouldn't get 100% agreement with any, and many would have vehemently voiced how wrong whatever it was just as you did. I'm glad you grew up good, really, I'm also glad how I grew up.
People get on parents for having their kids do yard work? Jesus! it's not like he's beating him or anything. Bob, I think it was a good idea, and you're definitely not a greedy bastard for it! don't listen to them.
No, Judy, youre missing the point. Doing yard work is fine. If Bob asks son to do yard work or it's part of his chores, fine. My problem comes in that this is a punishment for a mistake Bob could have easily made himself. Furthermore, I completely
Disagree with the idea of charging for favors. In addition, Bob's terms are completely unreasonable. 4 hours of work for his dad driving 3 miles to bring him an ID? Really? Can you REALLY say that is reasonable?
But it wasn't a punishment. It was a deal they worked out on the phone. (Read comments above.) Bob's son agreed to the terms. I think it's a great learning opportunity.
Bob, what consequence would your son have had at school, if you had not brought the id?
I'm not sure Alice, but it seemed pretty important for him to call me
Bob- I think that is very harsh for an honest mistake.
I'm shocked that so many agree with you.
It's not harsh. Maybe you think so, because you are thinking of it as a punishment. It's not a punishment. It's making him take responsibility. Bob had no obligation to deliver the id. The kid made an honest mistake, but it's still his responsibility
Accountability is a better word. I saw that in another comment.
I'd think it'd be harsh at ten, if a 15 year old can't handle 4 hours of work, we have bigger problems than forgetfulness
I think $2.50 an hour is taking advantage of him. It's one thing to say, ok, mow the lawn or rake the yard or something, but $2.50 is less than what illegal immigrants are paid.
I'd rather him not do it again, so I reject the taking advantage part
You can reject it all you want, but you ARE taking advantage of him.
I maybe would've required two hours.
I think some would've still frowned on that
Great way to teach accountability!
JustBob I think your an awesome parent. We have done things similar with our boys and caught a lot of flack behind it. Teaching a boy to be a man is not an easy job and I'm glad to see you embrace lessons as they come along.
Thanks, and I never understood it either, bad decisions cost money and money takes work, I don't know what there is to disagree with.
More than fair.
That's a pretty steep price. Everyone forgets things.
Can he just pay the $10. If so that's far. I don't think 4 hours in fair though.
I would've done it for cash, fingers crossed, he won't have to choose next time. He'll remember the ID
@Bob ... Exactly!
How far did you have to go to deliver it?
3 miles? Unless your kid is just a complete mindless asshole, cut him a break.
You seem extremely upset about this, I'd say even more than the "victim", did this touch a nerve or something?
$2.50 an hour is ridiculous, even if he is your son. And 4 hours is even more ridiculous for something that really didn't inconvenience you for more than 10-15 minutes. Don't you think 4. Hours is a high price for 10 minutes of your time?
I just don't like seeing people take advantage of others. Even if they are doing it "for their own good". It seems your motives aren't so much that he learns, but selfish in nature.
Not too sure what the absolute right thing would be, that's why I throw it out to the nation. Do you think that going off the voting results, you might be wrong?
Or, ya know, you just have more followers that think like you than not. But I'm sure that's just crazy! Humans don't tend to congregate with like minded individuals or anything. Absolutely nuts, I tell you!
Maybe, and while we may not agree on this particular issue, we have a high agreement percentage. Know that I truly value your input, it does seriously mean a lot. I am often in the minority vote of my questions, so this kinda surprises me too.
4 hours of work for forgetting his ID seems like a lot. $2.50 an hour is really low!
I told him to contact his union rep
It's better than hanging him.
Good for you for not being just an emergency taxi service for an inconvenienced little darling. What did the kid think of it??
Not a big fan of yard work, but understood and did it
Very reasonable. I might rephrase the part about a kid working off a debt by polishing a tool though.
LMAO, probably should
Probably why he forgot the ID in the first place!
Love that idea.. Gonna share it with everyone I know.. Hope that's ok...
Lol, glad I could help
Root cause!! HE'S A KID! The brain is not developed yet! Duh! But it is a nice reminder to have consequences for stuff.
Just anticipated that being a suggestion from some
You lost your keys in a parking lot. You ask Jr. To help you find them. Will you tune up his bike or clean his room? Is a habitual ID abuser?
If I'm giving him a ride with those keys, we'll call it square. And hopefully not habitual, I'm betting on him learning a lesson.
Poor kid can't win! I knew a guy that punished his kids by making them did a deep hole and then fill it in! But they got smart they put a big box in the hole. Easier to dig the next time.
Not that that seems all too cruel, just pointless to me. I think some of the alternatives to my method would be do nothing about it, or maybe counseling to find the root problem of him forgetting. If I forgot my ID, I'd damn sure pay $10 for it.
Totally reasonable. My parents did stuff like that all the time.
Considering his age I think this teaches him a lesson to be personally responsible... Honest mistake but still a good lesson.
Yes. Your kid I'm assuming?
Mostly reasonable, although four hours seems like a lot as it probably took you less than an hour for the delivery.
Thought behind it, if it was easy for him, what would be the lesson?
And I did need underlayment dug for stepping stones, and trust me, that job sucks.
Well you easily could have left him (her?) high and dry and not brought the ID. A lot of parents wouldn't. And kids should be helping out outside anyways.
He has his chores, I use the yard a learning device