Show of HandsShow of Hands

JustBob October 14th, 2013 4:33pm

Kid (15) forgot his ID at home and the compromise: I charge $10 for ID delivery to be worked off in yard work and tool polishing at $2.50 an hour. Reasonable?

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2katz I live in Nebraska
10/14/13 6:28 pm

What we don't know is the relationship between you and your son. Is yard work something he's used to helping with? It didn't sound like this "horrible exploitation" has hurt your relationship. Is he upset now? Was he really upset at all?

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 7:23 pm

Not once, in fact, proud of what he did accomplish, we laid stepping stones

2katz I live in Nebraska
10/14/13 8:29 pm

There ya go. Don't second-guess yourself on this one then. You sound like a good dad. I think your super-upset critics here have other personal issues.

GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
10/14/13 10:06 pm

And it sounds like the two of you negotiated this deal ("the compromise"). "I'll bring your id, if you promise to help me with ..."

Do I have that right?

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/15/13 4:45 am

Right, how the question was written was basically how the phone conversation went

GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
10/15/13 6:11 am

Then, I can't see the big deal some people are making out if it!

RichardRahl1 Jesus is King
10/14/13 6:22 pm

Yes if he got pulled over, no if he didn't. Who among us hasn't forgotten are I'd at least once before.

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 7:27 pm

We had this thing at work, if you forget your ID, you put $10 into the coffee fund

jmz1202 Sacramento
10/14/13 4:57 pm

If it's a regular occurrence, then maybe. I am an enabler, so I wouldn't do that. Plus, I'm pretty forgetful too.

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:05 pm

No. This is what we call a favor. Just as children should learn work ethic, they should also learn generosity and kindness. Not to mention, $2.50 is a ridiculously low wage and 4 hours work for something that took you about 20 minutes to do is insane

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beanD California
10/14/13 3:46 pm

Make it 2 hours of work, not 4.

Zealizabeth Probably the hospital
10/14/13 3:20 pm

Wow, flashbacks to my childhood. You aren't from the south by any chance? Haha

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 3:58 pm

Mine would've said tough and not brought it

Zealizabeth Probably the hospital
10/14/13 4:02 pm

Haha mine would've brought it if it was convenient for them, yelled at me in front of everyone, then whip my butt. But that's just my dad.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 4:05 pm

Aww, that sucks. I don't lay hands on him, especially for forgetting crap

Zealizabeth Probably the hospital
10/14/13 4:09 pm

Haha but your son is only 15? So I think that's past the age of whippens. Either way-good for you. He'll be a better man because of it!

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 4:20 pm

Lol, some don't think so

Torfin Never Behind
10/14/13 3:09 pm

Absolutely Awesome!

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 3:56 pm

Moot point, I'd have to charge more for delivery to pay for labor

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:13 pm

Just bob, corporations do not have that kind of rate of return. You're a greedy bastard.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 4:19 pm

Wow, haven't been called a bastard in awhile. This goes beyond rate of return, the aim was accountability, and the notion that mistakes, even little ones, cost. What would be the point if it's not something he really cares about?

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:22 pm

Does he often make this mistake or similar mistakes? What is he learning from this? "Don't ask dad for help, even when I need it, the cost for his help might be steeper than I can afford to pay." Or "don't be kind or generous and NEVER do someone a

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 4:26 pm

I'm hoping he learns: make sure I have everything I need for school. I often post dilemmas like this as my own little sanity check, to gauge if I'm doing the right thing, by the results, I'm comfortable. Update, he is still alive :) so that's good

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:26 pm

I can just see the future now: Jr. Is at a party and gets drunk. Now, he knows he's gonna get in trouble, but instead of calling you, because you know, your prices are so high, he gets behind the wheel and bang! He's dead.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 4:29 pm

Fingers crossed, I'm pretty sure that all the teens that died in drunk driving accidents didn't get there from repressed memories of yard work, but we will see

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:39 pm

I have to assume all your "punishments" are similar. Therefore the lesson is, "I can't count on dad."

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 4:45 pm

Mine would've let me go without it, and that taught me to rely on myself without killing me in a car wreck, some may not agree with their method either but I turned out fine, and I'm comfortable, so will he.

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:52 pm

Mine didn't punish me for honest mistakes, yet I grew up to be kind, generous, and disciplined. I'm 100% self sufficient and I didn't get punished for being human. Imagine that.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 5:14 pm

I get it, I think whatever course of action I would've took, I wouldn't get 100% agreement with any, and many would have vehemently voiced how wrong whatever it was just as you did. I'm glad you grew up good, really, I'm also glad how I grew up.

JudyMill Living free
10/14/13 8:26 pm

People get on parents for having their kids do yard work? Jesus! it's not like he's beating him or anything. Bob, I think it was a good idea, and you're definitely not a greedy bastard for it! don't listen to them.

Itabliss Hello
10/15/13 3:08 am

No, Judy, youre missing the point. Doing yard work is fine. If Bob asks son to do yard work or it's part of his chores, fine. My problem comes in that this is a punishment for a mistake Bob could have easily made himself. Furthermore, I completely

Itabliss Hello
10/15/13 3:10 am

Disagree with the idea of charging for favors. In addition, Bob's terms are completely unreasonable. 4 hours of work for his dad driving 3 miles to bring him an ID? Really? Can you REALLY say that is reasonable?

GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
10/15/13 10:55 am

But it wasn't a punishment. It was a deal they worked out on the phone. (Read comments above.) Bob's son agreed to the terms. I think it's a great learning opportunity.

GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
10/15/13 10:58 am

Bob, what consequence would your son have had at school, if you had not brought the id?

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/15/13 11:03 am

I'm not sure Alice, but it seemed pretty important for him to call me

EarlyBird Portland
10/14/13 1:30 pm

Bob- I think that is very harsh for an honest mistake.

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EarlyBird Portland
10/14/13 1:32 pm

I'm shocked that so many agree with you.
:-(

GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
10/14/13 2:10 pm

It's not harsh. Maybe you think so, because you are thinking of it as a punishment. It's not a punishment. It's making him take responsibility. Bob had no obligation to deliver the id. The kid made an honest mistake, but it's still his responsibility

GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
10/14/13 2:10 pm

Accountability is a better word. I saw that in another comment.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 2:45 pm

I'd think it'd be harsh at ten, if a 15 year old can't handle 4 hours of work, we have bigger problems than forgetfulness

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:12 pm

I think $2.50 an hour is taking advantage of him. It's one thing to say, ok, mow the lawn or rake the yard or something, but $2.50 is less than what illegal immigrants are paid.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 4:27 pm

I'd rather him not do it again, so I reject the taking advantage part

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:31 pm

You can reject it all you want, but you ARE taking advantage of him.

kbluebird Denial
10/14/13 12:59 pm

I maybe would've required two hours.

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 5:16 pm

I think some would've still frowned on that

dahawwl Texas
10/14/13 12:11 pm

Great way to teach accountability!

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canecorso Las Vegas Nv
10/14/13 11:38 am

JustBob I think your an awesome parent. We have done things similar with our boys and caught a lot of flack behind it. Teaching a boy to be a man is not an easy job and I'm glad to see you embrace lessons as they come along.

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 12:10 pm

Thanks, and I never understood it either, bad decisions cost money and money takes work, I don't know what there is to disagree with.

Ebola1 Florida
10/14/13 11:38 am

More than fair.

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wego Utah
10/14/13 11:19 am

That's a pretty steep price. Everyone forgets things.

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musicfreak Loving Life
10/14/13 10:55 am

Can he just pay the $10. If so that's far. I don't think 4 hours in fair though.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 11:18 am

I would've done it for cash, fingers crossed, he won't have to choose next time. He'll remember the ID

GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
10/14/13 2:11 pm

@Bob ... Exactly!

2katz I live in Nebraska
10/14/13 10:52 am

How far did you have to go to deliver it?

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:09 pm

3 miles? Unless your kid is just a complete mindless asshole, cut him a break.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 4:23 pm

You seem extremely upset about this, I'd say even more than the "victim", did this touch a nerve or something?

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:28 pm

$2.50 an hour is ridiculous, even if he is your son. And 4 hours is even more ridiculous for something that really didn't inconvenience you for more than 10-15 minutes. Don't you think 4. Hours is a high price for 10 minutes of your time?

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:29 pm

I just don't like seeing people take advantage of others. Even if they are doing it "for their own good". It seems your motives aren't so much that he learns, but selfish in nature.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 4:30 pm

Not too sure what the absolute right thing would be, that's why I throw it out to the nation. Do you think that going off the voting results, you might be wrong?

Itabliss Hello
10/14/13 4:34 pm

Or, ya know, you just have more followers that think like you than not. But I'm sure that's just crazy! Humans don't tend to congregate with like minded individuals or anything. Absolutely nuts, I tell you!

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 4:39 pm

Maybe, and while we may not agree on this particular issue, we have a high agreement percentage. Know that I truly value your input, it does seriously mean a lot. I am often in the minority vote of my questions, so this kinda surprises me too.

stefanie22 Cincinnati
10/14/13 10:28 am

4 hours of work for forgetting his ID seems like a lot. $2.50 an hour is really low!

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 10:29 am

I told him to contact his union rep

Ebola1 Florida
10/14/13 11:40 am

It's better than hanging him.

2katz I live in Nebraska
10/14/13 10:27 am

Good for you for not being just an emergency taxi service for an inconvenienced little darling. What did the kid think of it??

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 10:29 am

Not a big fan of yard work, but understood and did it

Zod Above Pugetropolis
10/14/13 10:20 am

Very reasonable. I might rephrase the part about a kid working off a debt by polishing a tool though.

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 10:21 am

LMAO, probably should

rons screw politicians
10/14/13 10:24 am

Probably why he forgot the ID in the first place!

mikeey1962 on SOH where else
10/14/13 10:12 am

Love that idea.. Gonna share it with everyone I know.. Hope that's ok...

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rons screw politicians
10/14/13 10:23 am

Root cause!! HE'S A KID! The brain is not developed yet! Duh! But it is a nice reminder to have consequences for stuff.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 10:26 am

Just anticipated that being a suggestion from some

rons screw politicians
10/14/13 10:09 am

You lost your keys in a parking lot. You ask Jr. To help you find them. Will you tune up his bike or clean his room? Is a habitual ID abuser?

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JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 10:11 am

If I'm giving him a ride with those keys, we'll call it square. And hopefully not habitual, I'm betting on him learning a lesson.

rons screw politicians
10/14/13 10:16 am

Poor kid can't win! I knew a guy that punished his kids by making them did a deep hole and then fill it in! But they got smart they put a big box in the hole. Easier to dig the next time.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 10:20 am

Not that that seems all too cruel, just pointless to me. I think some of the alternatives to my method would be do nothing about it, or maybe counseling to find the root problem of him forgetting. If I forgot my ID, I'd damn sure pay $10 for it.

rlands
10/14/13 9:44 am

Totally reasonable. My parents did stuff like that all the time.

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PeppyHare Do a barrel roll
10/14/13 9:44 am

Considering his age I think this teaches him a lesson to be personally responsible... Honest mistake but still a good lesson.

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Rosebud Ohio
10/14/13 9:41 am

Yes. Your kid I'm assuming?

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kermie gaytopia
10/14/13 9:42 am

Mostly reasonable, although four hours seems like a lot as it probably took you less than an hour for the delivery.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 9:44 am

Thought behind it, if it was easy for him, what would be the lesson?

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 9:46 am

And I did need underlayment dug for stepping stones, and trust me, that job sucks.

Rosebud Ohio
10/14/13 9:50 am

Well you easily could have left him (her?) high and dry and not brought the ID. A lot of parents wouldn't. And kids should be helping out outside anyways.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/14/13 9:56 am

He has his chores, I use the yard a learning device