Show of HandsShow of Hands

qmastrangelo November 23rd, 2019 12:55am

Is it better for divorce law to be more lenient to allow people the leave unhappy marriages, or for divorce law to be more stringent to encourage couples to stay together for the sake of their children?

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Comments: Add Comment

smulawyer
11/28/19 6:25 pm

Doesn’t Louisiana have it both ways? I read some years ago that you can get married under a particular statute that makes divorce more difficult. Anyone from LA know?

bluerum29 optimistic idealist
11/23/19 11:29 am

If people want out it should be easy to do so

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kscott516 Masks fail
11/23/19 6:29 am

I don’t support divorce but I’m more strongly opposed to the Gov’t controlling our lives.

kscott516 Masks fail
11/24/19 11:52 am

We have more in common than not

kscott516 Masks fail
11/24/19 2:49 pm

We’d be besties in real life

MrsCrayonWax
11/24/19 3:56 pm

Maybe we’d have a pizza and beer together until it gets weird when you start asking to see the basement.

RussianThunder Russia and USA
11/23/19 4:45 am

Keeping people together when they hate each other? Not good for the kids

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Yessy French Texan
11/23/19 12:20 am

Republicans voting for stringent not surprised since many are really into strong family bonds and traditions but sometimes it doesn't work out. I personally don't think you should be chained to unhappiness just because of your child. An unstable and unhappy marriage can later be worse of for the child.

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DonWichita Kansas
11/23/19 2:50 am

I lean stringent coupled with some court ordered counseling,
knowing that it is a long shot because of the emotions involved.

handsyjoey
11/22/19 10:49 pm

There's a lot of mental and emotional stress put on a child who has live in an unhappy home.
Which in turn teaches the kid that that kind of relationship is natural and creates a cycle of unhealthy and a lot of the time abusive relationships.

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TomLaney1 Jesus is Lord
11/22/19 10:09 pm

It's better for divorce law to be more stringent, but because it would force couples to think long and hard before rushing into a marriage that they didn't intend to be permanent.

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shygal47 Florida east coast
11/22/19 8:23 pm

That’s a personal decision that the government has no business being part of.

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bubba2526 New Jersey
11/22/19 7:41 pm

As divorce laws get tougher spousal homicide goes up I’ve said it on here before. Very dumb to make getting a divorce harder.

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johnny81 narnia
11/22/19 7:40 pm

“Divorce law” shouldn’t exist and the government should have nothing to do with marriage.

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thatguy2 We tried to warn you
11/22/19 7:14 pm

Easier. A couple maintaining a toxic relationship is no benefit to their children.

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Zach21 California
11/22/19 7:07 pm

May be unpopular, but lenient. I’m all for personal freedom and the couple should have the choice, regardless of if they have children or not.

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SHIPPY1944 Tn.
11/22/19 6:17 pm

I’m for following the Beatles song lyrics-We Can Work It Out (see YouTube )

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4JC Christian Pastors Wife
11/22/19 6:14 pm

💠 qmastrangelo asked:
11/23/2019
Is it better for divorce law to be more lenient to allow people the leave unhappy marriages, or for divorce law to be more stringent to encourage couples to stay together for the sake of their children?

...

Reply
4JC Christian Pastors Wife
11/22/19 6:17 pm

DEFINITELY more stringent. The state of Louisiana has a law that you have to take marital counseling before you can divorce. I think that’s a GREAT law, and it has cut down on divorces in the state. I can attest to the fact that even if the couple does not feel they are in love anymore, that love is an ACTION verb and if the couple will SHOW acts of love they can fall back in love again! I’ve seen it happen! If anyone is interested in this concept, there is an entire series of books and a movie about it, called The Love Dare.

www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-dare-stephen-kendrick/1100312988#/

...

4JC Christian Pastors Wife
11/22/19 6:19 pm

Here is a link to the movie. The name of it is Fireproof, not The Love Dare, but the character in the movie uses The Love Dare:

www.imdb.com/title/tt1129423/

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handsyjoey
11/22/19 10:52 pm

So if a person is in an physically or mentally abusive marriage Louisiana forces them to try and work it out first?
I wonder what the spousal abuse or homicide rate is in Louisiana

4JC Christian Pastors Wife
11/22/19 10:54 pm

Since those are against the law, I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t be forced to stay in a marriage like that.

handsyjoey
11/22/19 10:55 pm

Oh shit!
Louisiana domestic homicide rate is TWICE the national average and only 2nd to Alaska

4JC Christian Pastors Wife
11/22/19 11:00 pm

Apparently, it’s not just LA that requires this.

Check out this article:

www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ugc/basics-of-court-ordered-marriage-counseling

But notice THIS statement:

“Many states also exempt domestic abuse victims from being required to attend marriage counseling, even if it would otherwise be required.”

And notice that it says that this is often because one spouse asks for marriage counseling.

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4JC Christian Pastors Wife
11/22/19 11:09 pm

And I had remembered it incorrectly as well. The required counseling is for those that, when they married, did so as a COVENANT marriage. Here is info on that:

www.ldh.la.gov/index.cfm/page/695

The couple who chooses to enter into a covenant marriage agrees to be bound by two significant provisions on obtaining a divorce or separation. These stipulations do not apply to other couples married in Louisiana:

The couple legally agrees to seek marital counseling if problems develop during the marriage; and
The couple can seek a divorce or legal separation for limited reasons only, as explained herein.


So it’s something that YOU decide BEFORE you get married.

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DonWichita Kansas
11/23/19 2:57 am

@4JC , excellent points.

handsyjoey
11/23/19 10:19 pm

"Louisiana has one of the nation's highest divorce rates"


www.wafb.com/story/36654029/louisiana-has-one-of-the-nations-highest-divorce-rates/

DonWichita Kansas
11/23/19 11:47 pm

Yes, Louisiana is the fourth highest in divorces. Read handsyjoey's link to see the primary causes.
It is sad. Maybe the covenant thing help.

4JC Christian Pastors Wife
11/24/19 3:10 am

Thanks, Don!

“The report notes financial stress as a factor in the deterioration of a marriage, and Louisiana has both a low median household income and a high unemployment rate compared with national figures.”

Having lived in poverty all my life, I can attest to the fact that financial stress is a HUGE factor in marital problems. In fact, there are TWO major reasons that couples, in general, argue and have problems. One is lack of communication and the other is financial disagreements. Add to that trying to survive without the finances needed and I can see it being a big factor in divorce.

I CAN tell you this: If you have a covenant marriage (even if it’s not called that in your state) in which you have a COMMITMENT to the other person for LIFE, in sickness & in health, for better or for worse, until DEATH do you part, it goes a LONG way toward keeping your marriage intact, no matter the stressors in your life! I know, because we celebrated 40 years this year!

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skinner Jersey City
11/22/19 6:04 pm

Divorce is the destruction of the basic unit of the family. It shouldn’t be easy to do and adultery should be illegal.

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MrAmerica Peaceful protestor
11/22/19 9:17 pm

Skinner is correct.

thatguy2 We tried to warn you
11/22/19 11:34 pm

Skinner is a nutty extremist.

qmastrangelo Pottsvegas, PA
11/23/19 1:06 am

Skinner is correct

DonWichita Kansas
11/23/19 11:19 pm

Skinner is correct.

thatguy2 We tried to warn you
11/24/19 12:23 am

I bet y’all imagine you’re supporters of freedom too

Kay41 the Midwest
11/22/19 6:03 pm

Great question!

I said more stringent just so people would really, really think about marriage and be sure before committing. But, I could maybe be persuaded here to change my mind.

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Argonaut Yang 2020
11/22/19 7:43 pm

I’d say there are good arguments for both. Perhaps one for lenient is people being stuck in abusive relationships. One party could fake the love and force them to stay depending upon what laws are in place

Kay41 the Midwest
11/22/19 7:55 pm

Yes, the abusive relationships is definitely a consideration.

Posco BBQ Enthusiast
11/23/19 1:01 am

If we want to make sure they’ve found “the one” and lower divorce rates then we should focus on the process of getting married and not make divorcing more difficult.