Many people find this hard to believe, but we never raise our voices to our kids. Did/do your parents raise their voices at you?
Yes. Quite a bit.
Yes, but not very often.
Nice work you're modeling good behavior.
Thank you! I appreciate it!
We don’t know how to speak for very long without raising our voices. Goes back generations. Just shows we don’t have ice water running through our veins—although that would actually be nice in the summer.
Haha! I don’t think anyone would accuse me of having ice water in my veins. Quite the opposite. I’m a pretty warm dude, and very passionate about what I think and feel...I just don’t raise my voice to express myself.
My mother did but my father didn't.
We never paid attention to our parents unless they were yelling and screaming. We knew then they meant business. lol. I hope your kinds don’t fold when voices are raised in the work place though. Gotta know how to work with that too. They might lack that skill.
Hmmm... Here’s my experience: My parents didn’t yell either. In the work place I believe I’ve always given off the aura of “I’m responsible, I’m respectful, I work hard and I expect the same. If you need to correct me, do it respectfully.” It’s served me well. It’s a boundary that says I won’t be verbally abused, but I will be an employee that you love having work for you.
My parents had a policy / tradition of whispering when angry. It was actually very effective.
We get quieter too!! It is very impactful!
Yes, but pretty rarely.
They were always under controlled, but they did raise their voices at me. My Dad can cut through me with his words. It’s like someone jabbing a knife in my side and twisting it around.
Ouch! Not sure how to interpret that. I guess it would depend on the subject.
No, they were very calm when they beat me
On occasion, yes. It was the level below spanking, so it always made an impression. If you never have to yell at or spank your kids, it's not that you're a great parent, you just won the kid lottery.
Oh, I spank/spanked my kids, but I had some great examples of how to do that too. Not to toot my own horn, but I think I handled that really well too. It was like math with me. You do (fill in the blank) and that will equal you getting a spanking. No yelling, no going back on my word, just math. In fact, it often makes me tear up to spank my kids. We have 6 boys, so we didn’t end up with perfect, non-challenging kids! I just had the good fortune of having an amazing dad, and some other really good men in my life who taught/showed me an example of how to be a firm, but fun and loving dad. Ok...I tooted my own horn.. 😁
I wish both of you would chime in when others are attacking me, saying that our LOVING use of spanking is ABUSE! Just had that convo with a COUPLE of people doing that to me, just a couple of days ago. Spanking actually saved one of our kids lives because they knew to obey the FIRST time, EVERY time we told them to do something! There was none of this foolish counting to 5 before they minded in our house!
I don’t like spanking, but I find it to be necessary for some circumstances and some kids. When a child does something very dangerous that she has been told not to do, I definitely think sparking is in order. Better to be spanked than maimed or dead.
EXACTLY, HL! I’m wondering if any of you would be willing to be tagged into the convo I was in, to put in your two cents worth?
I'm your huckleberry. Say when.
😂🤣😂 Thanks, Phal! I’ll wait a little while and see if the other two want to join the bandwagon, and then find the poll.
Or if you want to go ahead and go there and chime in, any of you, it’s this poll, and my thread, that I have started with the 💠 to help people find the poll question.
If you move to a foreign country (or vacation there), do you respect and abide by their laws even if you disagree (an example could be anti spanking laws in Europe)?
I may say something. It’s so difficult to put into words when someone is so dead set against it. Without them knowing me personally, witnessing the way I discipline and/or the results, they can’t really understand.
Thanks, screename! They’ve since doubled down on my, DEMANDING that I give them STUDIES that will back up what I’m saying about out of control kids that are ruining the public education system now....they want studies that prove that spanking isn’t detrimental to kids because they have all these studies that “prove” that it is.
Hubby’s comment on that is that statistics can be skewed to say whatever you want to.
And that right there is where I start to tune out. Highly educated people can come up with all kinds of studies to prove or disprove anything, yet Jesus thanked God that things were hidden from the wise and prudent and revealed to babes. There are things I believe about discipline because of God’s word, his spirit’s conviction, my experience and results that are much weightier to me than a study. If someone isn’t coming from that same baseline, I can argue until I’m blue in the face, to no avail.
WELL said! And that’s basically what I told them....that I don’t give a FLIP about what liberal studies that go against God’s word say, and that MILLIONS of parents can’t have been wrong, especially given how kids that have NOT been spanked are now disrespectful and violent, to the point that teachers are leaving their professions. Then, he talked about how people thought for thousands of years that SLAVERY was good! 🙄🙄🙄
Thank you. Oh boy. The difference is that the word of God doesn’t ask you to own slaves. It does say quite a bit about giving discipline though.
EXACTLY!!!!! I can’t believe he compared slavery to loving discipline!
My parents didn’t either, so I grew up that way. My wife’s mom was a yeller, which she hated. (The yelling, not her mom..) We made a pact when we got married that we would never yell at our kids. My kids have always said the scariest thing my wife does is say, “I need to talk to dad about your behavior,” and one of the scariest things I do is drop my voice to an even quieter level. 😂