Show of HandsShow of Hands

Praetorianus November 20th, 2019 12:48am

If you tragically lose your spouse, would you possibly date again soon or stick to a traditional mourning period which may even be reflected by the way you dress?

15 Liked

Comments: Add Comment

SHIPPY1944 Tn.
11/20/19 8:06 am

Never❣️, I’ve been married to the same woman for 57yrs she🥰is irreplaceable❣️

Reply
MrMilkdud
11/20/19 7:07 am

I don’t plan on dating again under any circumstances. It seems like a lot of work these days and I just don’t have any interest in wading through someone else’s baggage. If something happens to my wife, I’ll will probably just become a hermit.

Texas1 did not proofread
11/19/19 9:58 pm

I’d put an ad in the paper for sammich maker needed.

Lol, seriously I have given it some thought and I have NO idea... I am pampered by my ole lady. She does so much for me and has done it for so long I’m not sure I can take care of myself properly anymore. I would at very least need a secretary to help me keep things in line like she does.

Texas1 did not proofread
11/19/19 10:03 pm

I know people say it, you know, “I’d never remarry after...” And I’m one that say it and believes it, I will never marry again. Date on the other hand, I would... But there comes the next problem, how to find someone that would measure up to her..,

phalnx Ohio
11/19/19 9:19 pm

Soon? Probably never. It's not something I could ever fully recover from.

Reply
Krystina Let Freedom Reign
11/19/19 8:57 pm

Mourning....lengthy mourning. Honestly, I can’t even imagine how I’d get over it. I’m not sure I’d have much will to live if he were gone.

historylover
11/19/19 8:39 pm

I’ve wondered if it’s harder to try a new relationship if you had a great relationship or if you had a terrible relationship. If you had a great relationship, you might be afraid nothing could match it. If you had a terrible relationship, you might be afraid a new relationship would be equally awful or even worse.
BTW, I would mourn, but my attire would not change.

Reply
TierasPet
11/20/19 4:29 am

Those are great points. I think I'd take time whether it was great or terrible. I'd be more sad if it was great and scared if it was terrible.

DonWichita Kansas
11/19/19 7:10 pm

Im afraid I would mourn for the rest of my life.

Reply
Whatsamattaferu 11726
11/19/19 6:36 pm

Depends if my spouse did of an unfortunate accident.. just saying

HBNY this space for rent
11/19/19 6:16 pm

If I was in a relationship I’d have a period of mourning.

Kay41 the Midwest
11/19/19 6:03 pm

I don't know if I could date again. I have a hard time believing I could find anyone who compares to him. But, of course, maybe after quite awhile, I might be lonely and give it a try.

Reply
katerina13 stuck in the middle
11/19/19 6:22 pm

These are my feelings, too. Even though mine was a divorce. Even after nearly a year and a half, it’s still so raw.

Kay41 the Midwest
11/19/19 6:52 pm

I bet! And, besides a loss you are also dealing with a type of betrayal.

katerina13 stuck in the middle
11/19/19 6:56 pm

Yes. I was thinking about it the other day. And, with the ease that husband lied to me, I’m concerned with trusting someone again. Honesty and integrity are paramount to me. I’m honest to a fault. My friends joke that if you want an honest opinion, ask Kat. 😊

katerina13 stuck in the middle
11/19/19 7:03 pm

He wasn’t a liar, per se. I’m certain that the things he lied about had to do with money he spent on small things. He had a lot of hobbies. And then, of course, the affair. But he had so many wonderful qualities, and we fit together well. That’s why it’s so painful. That, and the fact that he broke off any communication with me. That hurts the most. It makes me feel like I didn’t exist. It certainly would’ve made the divorce easier. 😊

Krystina Let Freedom Reign
11/19/19 8:59 pm

So sorry, Kat. ☹️

katerina13 stuck in the middle
11/19/19 9:00 pm

Thanks, y’all. 💕

Praetorianus Fair enough.
11/19/19 5:50 pm

If the bond was intense, I may never date again.

Reply
accountwontpost
11/19/19 6:00 pm

This user is currently being ignored

Praetorianus Fair enough.
11/19/19 6:52 pm

Yes but not all marriages have the maximum "soulmate" bond.

accountwontpost
11/19/19 6:58 pm

This user is currently being ignored

4JC Christian Pastors Wife
11/19/19 7:22 pm

I agree with truthmatters. If you don’t have an intense love for that person, in which you’re determined that you’re committed to that person, no matter how bad things get, for LIFE, you shouldn’t marry them.

..

historylover
11/19/19 8:36 pm

People can change. You may stay together, but an intense bond doesn’t always last either.

Praetorianus Fair enough.
11/19/19 9:34 pm

One reason I'm single is I want perpetual honeymoon and that's unrealistic.

Praetorianus Fair enough.
11/19/19 9:34 pm

One reason I'm single is I want perpetual honeymoon and that's unrealistic.

4JC Christian Pastors Wife
11/19/19 9:44 pm

HL, I believe that love is an action word. It’s a DECISION. You MIGHT fall OUT of love, but you can renew that love by showing ACTS of love. I’ve seen it happen and marriages have been saved. There is an entire series of books and a movie about this called The Love Dare.

Praet, I don’t think that’s realistic, nor is it healthy. There is MUCH to be said about the great advantages of getting past the honeymoon stage and having a LASTING love, not built on lust and good feelings, but true LOVE and commitment!

I’m going to bed but will check back tomorrow.

...

GrandmaALiCE Rocky Mtns aerial view
11/19/19 10:50 pm

I agree with 4jc. I can’t say it better, so I won’t add anything.

Historylover, the intense bond is something that grows. It’s not a static thing. It’s hard to explain, unless you have lived it. Of course, people change, which is why a marriage has to change and grow.

.

4JC Christian Pastors Wife
11/20/19 12:23 am

Thanks, GA! I appreciate that! I think most of us with LONG term marriages would agree! We celebrate our 40th anniversary this year!

GrandmaALiCE Rocky Mtns aerial view
11/20/19 5:10 am

Back to the poll question ... Neither.

I am in a strange kind of limbo now, living as a single, yet married, with my husband in long-term dementia care. If he dies before me, I would not look for another man. I might do casual dating, but not “right away.”

But, this wouldn’t have anything to do with a formal mourning period. I would miss him for the rest of my life, regardless, but would move on to a normal life, as quickly as possible. I would not wear “mourning clothes.”

.