Show of HandsShow of Hands

Timber February 11th, 2019 12:36am

Would you send your child to conversion therapy if you found out that they are gay?

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KudosToYou California
02/11/19 6:26 pm

Nah, I'm pretty staunchly against child abuse.

JamesAndersonMD La Jolla, CA
02/11/19 2:52 pm

Never. Regardless of which gender my son is interested in, I’ll love him just as he is, not to mention that it would be a total waste of money.

MooseLord A Demagogic Country
02/11/19 12:30 pm

A discussion thread has been deleted? Or somehow it disappeared.

BoomSwetty Uncaged Human
02/11/19 2:11 pm

I saw that too. Maybe people thought we were pissy with each other but please know that I am only discussing. This just hits home because I have a son that is gay.

susanr Colorado
02/11/19 5:18 pm

I haven’t seen a thread deleted on SOH in ages. (I believe not in over 3 years, but it’s certainly possible I missed something...) There is a more likely explanation that is possible.

Do you remember who *started* the thread? Was it someone other than either of you, @TsarMoose or @BoomSwetty ? Was it the thread started by katarina13?


susanr Colorado
02/11/19 8:06 pm

OK... I suspect that she put you both on ignore. There’s a way to check and see if that’s the case, but since your profile is private, it won’t work for you. I can’t tell if you’re relatively new here (again, because your profile is private), but if you are, you may not know much about the ignore feature.

BoomSwetty Uncaged Human
02/11/19 8:37 pm

Makes sense. Interesting as we were speaking to each other but maybe she/he took our comments in way that we did not intend and thought they were directed at her. And no, I do not know what the ignore feature Is but I assume it does just that to us.

susanr Colorado
02/11/19 9:01 pm

You’re welcome.

When someone uses the ignore feature on *you,* their comments appear to disappear (previous, current and future ones) and any thread started by them disappears entirely to you no matter who posted replies in it. That can make some threads a bit hard to follow, if they are posting in a thread but you don’t see their comments. You won’t see any of their polls, in any list, even if they are shared by another user or featured by SOH. You can look at their profile but you can’t go from the profile to their poll list as you can normally (with a public profile; that doesn’t work when your own profile or theirs is private - although for you with your private profile, *all* other users’ profiles appear as private even when they’re public). It’s almost as if they’ve vanished from SOH - except that you may see other users talking *to* them in a thread.


susanr Colorado
02/11/19 9:10 pm

If you see a poll that supposedly has more comments than you can see & count, someone who has you on ignore is posting there. (This is more obvious when the comment count is low - say the poll says 8 comments and you see 5 or 6, or it says 4 and you see 0.) And if you were following that user, you aren’t any more; the “ignore” kicked them off the list of users you follow.

Also, even though you can’t see their polls, you can still get “tagged” *into* one of their polls, if someone else tags you, and you tap on the notification you get. That’s a weird experience. You still won’t see their comments, though.

If *you* put another user on ignore: You won’t see their polls. You can’t get to their poll list via their profile. (Just as when you’re the user being ignored.) BUT, you will see where they have commented in other polls - although you can’t read their comments; the text is replaced by “This user is currently being ignored.”


ronderman North Carolina
02/11/19 5:17 am

I wouldn’t unless they requested to go and then I’d investigate the program thoroughly before allowing them to go.

HBNY this space for rent
02/11/19 11:00 am

That feeds into gay shaming— gay conversion “therapy” needs to be outlawed completely.

HBNY this space for rent
02/11/19 3:57 am

Absolutely not. I just watched Boy Erased.

PrinceOberyn Tower of Fate
02/11/19 12:35 am

I'm not a fucking monster, so no.

CoffeeNow Powderpuff Leftist
02/10/19 10:31 pm

Worst summer camp ever!

02/10/19 9:16 pm

No. But I would set them up with a therapist. Gay kids tend to have a lot more emotional problems than other kids so it would be in their best interests to start talking to a professional sooner than later.

Praetorianus Fair enough.
02/10/19 9:42 pm

If they appear to need it - some kids don't seem to have problems.
I realized I'm bi at age 15 or so and my family was accepting, I never thought about seeing a shrink.
A friend from Vienna realized he's gay at a similar age and also felt no need for therapy, despite the fact his father wasn't supportive.
Maybe it's certain parts of society that need therapy.

BoomSwetty Uncaged Human
02/11/19 4:38 pm

Is that because people shame them and the threat of not being accepted by the ones that they love most can lead to conversion therapy?

02/12/19 10:45 am

No, it’s because they have a variety of other mental and emotional issues that make it harder for them to cope. It could be that lack of acceptance exacerbates those conditions, but the conditions or the predisposition toward those conditions already existed.
It’s the nature part of the nature/nurture combo.

presrvd Phoenix
02/10/19 8:58 pm

Conversion? To what?

BoomSwetty Uncaged Human
02/10/19 8:20 pm

My PC answer- Conversion therapy would be antithesis of the freedom that we all cherish in America.
My Inner Monologue Answer- If you freaking send your child to conversion therapy then you have the f’ing problem because your child does not.

katerina13 stuck in the middle
02/10/19 8:17 pm

Good lord, no! I would just continue to love them as I always had.

MooseLord A Demagogic Country
02/10/19 8:23 pm

You are assuming that sending your child to conversion therapy equates to you not loving them anymore? Couldn’t I make the argument that if the parent doesn’t love his/her child, he/she wouldn’t take the time and money and effort to send his/her child to therapy? If parents choose to send their child to conversion therapy, I would assume it is because they love their child and at the same time, wish for their child to be like the majority of others or to conform to their beliefs.

BoomSwetty Uncaged Human
02/10/19 8:35 pm

You could make that argument but I might contend that true Love is acceptance & support and never equates to how much you spend on your child.

katerina13 stuck in the middle
02/10/19 8:48 pm


MooseLord A Demagogic Country
02/11/19 1:09 am

True love is doing what is best for the person you love(the best thing in your opinion that is). For some parents, in their opinion, the best thing is for a child to be straight. The point I’m trying to make is that just because you disagree with conversion therapy, doesn’t mean the parents that support it don’t love their kids unconditionally, it may just be because they think it is what is best for them.

katerina13 stuck in the middle
02/11/19 5:48 am

Dude, you can stop pontificating now. You TOTALLY misunderstood what I was saying and read a bunch of crap into it that was never there. Go make your own comment elsewhere.

BoomSwetty Uncaged Human
02/11/19 6:24 am

Tsar...this is good discussion and because I have strong feelings does not mean that I understand your point. You are probably correct that a small percentage of parents think conversion therapy would be an act of love because it would be what they think is best. This decision could be based on ignorance, their religious beliefs, their child’s safety or any factor that they think they are protecting their kids from. Whatever the reason, It’s just horrifying to think what that child would have to grow through and guilt that he/she must shoulder for being simply who they are. And I hope they would be motivated to learn more prior to making this decision.

EarlyBird Portland
02/10/19 8:11 pm

No, it doesn’t work and it’s terribly abusive.

political Georgia
02/10/19 7:19 pm

I certainly don’t think so, but I would seek help.

fburgnate Mechanicsville, VA
02/11/19 9:53 am

You’d want to contact PFLAG -

HammeringMan Gods Away On Business
02/10/19 7:10 pm

Conversion therapy. Not if they're gay.
If they're elitist capitalist. Yes

leilu SoCal
02/10/19 7:08 pm

Child, meaning not an adult. Since we are expanding abortion laws, I'll be able to abort my child up to the age of 18 if I find the gay thing to be undesirable.

My real answer is no. I don't even know what conversion therapy entails and I'm not really interested in finding out. I would however, read Made This Way by Trent Horn.

02/10/19 7:02 pm

You can’t pray the gay away, or convert it.

02/10/19 6:55 pm

That on Libertarian in Arkansas tho. 😳

zimmy Florida
02/10/19 6:47 pm

No that is child abuse

Ebola007 Florida
02/10/19 6:27 pm

Absolutely not!

bluerum29 optimistic idealist
02/10/19 5:54 pm

No that's dumb. We all have impulses in life, we learn the ones that are good and the ones that are not.

HBNY this space for rent
02/11/19 3:58 am

Being gay is not an impulse action.

Praetorianus Fair enough.
02/10/19 5:53 pm

No, I'd rather see it banned to "send" someone to it.
What you voluntarily do as an adult wouldn't concern me though.

susanr Colorado
02/10/19 5:46 pm

Hell no. It doesn’t “work” anyway, but more importantly it wouldn’t make any difference to me if my child was gay.