Show of HandsShow of Hands

MrMilkdud November 18th, 2017 4:31pm

We make our 1st grader write one page essays when she gets in trouble. She has to explain ways to avoid bad behavior and offer good alternatives. My liberal friend says using writing as behavior mod is abuse because she will learn to hate writing.

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pietsch Another Adoring Fan
11/22/17 7:15 am

She will learn to express herself. Good idea.

ishady 86451132020
11/19/17 5:32 am

This is good parenting. Points to you for the creativity.

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jmw7477 Indiana
11/19/17 1:50 am

I think it’s great.

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TopsQueen Oregon Coast
11/19/17 12:00 am

Excellent parenting!!! Very cognitive. Helps her think to through. I’d so similar paper for being very good. Wits an award. Proud of you.

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PB246 California
11/18/17 11:18 pm

School psych’s option: not abuse as long as you’re not like yelling horrible things while they write or something crazy abusive which I’m sure your not. Consequences are normal and make mentally strong kids. Asking your kid to reflect on their behavior and think of ways to make better choices in the future sounds like something a lot of parents should consider having their kids do. Writing about it seems like a fine idea

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Liberty 4,032,064
11/18/17 7:40 pm

I mean, it’s obviously not abuse. That’s just a stupid thing to assert.

That said, it probably will condition her to think of writing as punishment or, at the least, a negative thing.

RussianThunder Russia and USA
11/18/17 7:13 pm

My mother has a Ph.D in education (though technically it’s deaf education) says it is possible. She could make that association. She suggests you sit and talk to her. Like a teacher, have her come up with better ways to handle things, write then on an erase board or chalk board....or paper, where she can see it. Then as she comes up with ideas that might not be the best way to handle something, you can talk about that too. It increases personal time with a parent. Makes both of you part of the process and would not make her learn to hate writing.
She says every child though is different and you know your daughter better than anyone.

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RussianThunder Russia and USA
11/18/17 7:14 pm

She stresses it’s not abuse by any stretch of the imagination.

MrMilkdud
11/18/17 5:49 pm

Didn’t say there is anything wrong with chores.
They do chores, too. Both as a daily routine, as a consequence, and sometimes as a way to earn a little money.

But this is also an effective tool.

Malekithe My pronouns are GFY
11/18/17 4:55 pm

Don't listen to liberals.

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Kyle5 TN
11/18/17 4:18 pm

Ok while it may make her hate writing, most kids don't like it anyway, and it's sure as hell not abuse.

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ReyG
11/18/17 3:46 pm

It’s a great alternative punishment, I️ might actually steal that. It’s one page they’ll live lol

Jazzy5 USA
11/18/17 3:32 pm

That’s a good idea. She applies reason and thought into what happened.
She is also learning composition, spelling, and punctuation.

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Carcano Luke 10 19
11/18/17 3:31 pm

I hate to agree with your liberal friend but I think that might be a bad idea. She will have to do a lot of writing in high school and college, and you don't want to be setting off her punishment senses every time she gets assigned an essay. It will make it that much harder for her to do it.

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xtarite
11/18/17 2:47 pm

To the left, rules are abuse

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ronderman North Carolina
11/18/17 2:44 pm

Good parenting isn't recognized by everyone.

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ozzy
11/18/17 2:36 pm

That’s the bullshit sociology teaches you. Lol

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swervin Maryland
11/18/17 2:26 pm

I think any sort of punishment would be considered abuse by liberals.

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cowboy Dawns Highway
11/18/17 2:20 pm

Any discipline of a child is “abuse” to the left.

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TomLaney1 Jesus is Lord
11/18/17 1:38 pm

Right on! Write on!

⚜ ᎢᎻᎬ ᏩᎡᎪᎷᎷᎪᎡ ᏢᎾᏞᏆᏟᎬ ⚜

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anniepoops fear the deer
11/18/17 12:50 pm

I think your exercise helps her with her critical thinking skills, and it’s needed today.

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44YY Boston, MA
11/18/17 2:11 pm

That will make her hate exercise as well so I don’t really think that’s a good idea either

44YY Boston, MA
11/18/17 2:23 pm

I read that wrong lol sorry

ZaQ777 Pittsburgh
11/18/17 12:21 pm

It certainly isn't abuse, but your friend has a point about the conditioning.

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orgblu10 Shamerica
11/18/17 11:12 am

I can actually see some merit in what the liberal friend is saying. It's similar to when I was coaching and didn't want to use running as punishment. But being a good writer is such a valuable skill as she goes further along in her education, that I would keep doing it as long as you see that it's productive. It's also a good way to force her to learn to come up with creative problem-solving strategies. Just monitor the quality of her work and her willingness to cooperate.

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Ebola1 Florida
11/18/17 11:11 am

I think it’s a great idea 💡

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jlong105 Indiana
11/18/17 10:35 am

Oh lord! Just beat her with a hickory stick.

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jlong105 Indiana
11/18/17 10:36 am

The liberal friend that is.

MrMilkdud
11/18/17 11:16 am

I️ don’t have a hickory stick license!

bluerum29 optimistic idealist
11/18/17 10:21 am

It's not abuse, that's stupid. But as a teacher I do have a hard time with writing as a punishment. The concept of the essay is good, just don't want kids to hate writing

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rons Thanks America
11/18/17 10:21 am

When I was bad I had to kneel in a corner until Pop said Ok. Gimme that pad and pencil!

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MrMilkdud
11/18/17 10:22 am

They find their noses in corners now and then, too. Got to keep them guessing!

lcamino Florida and Georgia
11/18/17 10:15 am

I made my daughter write something like that once. She and her little brother took off into the woods at a park. I was so frantic trying to find them. She hated writing it, but she never did anything like that again.

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Zach21 California
11/18/17 10:08 am

Keep doing it.

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susanr Colorado
11/18/17 10:08 am

I sure wouldn't call it abuse, because it isn't. And I think it's a great idea.

However, I think the person might have a point, that your child might come to have a negative *association* between having done something wrong, and being forced to write an essay, and I do think that wouldn't be a good result.

All I would do to prevent that is maybe to switch around the consequences for the unacceptable behavior occasionally. But I *really* like the things you're asking of her in the essay - it's not just punitive; it's constructive in the best of ways. And if she doesn't *seem* to resent having to do it, stick with it.

.

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MrMilkdud
11/18/17 10:09 am

So far she tolerates it pretty well and it ends on a positive note because she has to give a presentation. If it became a power struggle we’d stop.

susanr Colorado
11/18/17 10:14 am

The presentation is also a great idea. Does she enjoy that? Does she also do presentations when she writes the other essays and stories on her own, that you've mentioned in other replies?

rons Thanks America
11/18/17 10:19 am

The opposite may happen and start being bad so she can write an essay about it!

MrMilkdud
11/18/17 10:20 am

She does- they’re always putting on little plays or presentations. Their school really emphasizes public speaking and they enjoy it, so it’s kind of become an ongoing way for them to play.

MrMilkdud
11/18/17 10:21 am

I’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, Ron!

rons Thanks America
11/18/17 10:30 am

Ok, just a thought. My grandson was made to write by his Dad. Then he loved it thru middle school and HS. He got an internship last summer thru his School Stevens Inst of Tech writing articles for the IEEE.

MrMilkdud
11/18/17 10:34 am

That’s really cool, ron. I️ think if the kid has a natural inclination for it, then any exposure at a young age could be good.

susanr Colorado
11/18/17 11:29 am

I love it. I remember my dad saying he wished schools did something pretty much like what you're saying your girls' school does, MrMilk. He said he thought kids would grow up not fearing getting up and speaking in public so much if it was something they started doing really early. It sounds like that really works for them, then, and sounds like it does a lot more than just help kids get over that fear.

.

jarod California
11/18/17 2:01 pm

I agree susan. I don't remember doing speeches or presentations in elementary school. I despise them now, it's essentially a fear for me. Had they have me do it early, I might be better at it and maybe like it more.

Robert97206 Portland Oregon
11/18/17 10:03 am

Why do you even have liberal friends?

In all seriousness it's not abuse but yeah it could discourage your child from wanting to write in the future. I doubt it will.

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Kay41 the Midwest
11/18/17 9:56 am

I think the essay is a great idea. Could it eventually cause her to hate writing? I suppose so. But, I think if the good results outweighs the bad consequences, then all is well.

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CrazDab Florida
11/18/17 9:52 am

That just means she’ll love math, not English or writing 😂

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ScenarioNations California
11/18/17 9:54 am

Oooo or history and science

Carolynn new jersey
11/18/17 9:48 am

I think it's a great thing to do. It will help her with her writing skills and develop the way she expresses herself. I would be concerned, though, if she started to associate writing and punishment. You can probably avoid this by giving her writing assignments for positive things. Like vacations, hobbies, holidays, etc.

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Symeon USA
11/18/17 9:41 am

Making her write an essay is a fantastic idea, But not only when getting in trouble. If you only use essays as punishment, the child will eventually despise writing and always associate it with punishment.

MrMilkdud
11/18/17 9:42 am

It’s actually worked in reverse. Now she writes essays (about positive things) and stories on her own without any prompting.

MrMilkdud
11/18/17 9:38 am

And yes, for the record, I️ do have a liberal friend. His name is “Rainbeau,” and he lives under a bridge because he burned his house down in a crack production mishap.

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MrMilkdud
11/18/17 9:38 am

Or he might be a highschool teacher who lurks this app. I️ forget which.

ScenarioNations California
11/18/17 9:55 am

You need better liberal friends lmao

MrMilkdud
11/18/17 10:24 am

He’s the best one! The other applicants kept trying to burn MY house down!

Senate101 San Diego
11/18/17 9:35 am

It depends on the kid, I guess. If it's an effective method of treatment or not I'm not sure.

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Kamden popular revolt
11/18/17 9:35 am

Try punching her in the face instead.
She'll learn to hate violence.

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