Show of HandsShow of Hands

SunsetLeopard November 17th, 2017 3:24am

I survived laying my husband to rest today on the 3 month anniversary of losing my dad. I'm struggling pretty bad tonight so...anyone have any uplifting stories or quotes they wanna share?

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omniku dot com
11/17/17 3:51 pm

My thoughts are with you. I’m so sorry for your losses. Since you asked for an uplifting story, I’ll give it a shot...

A person I’ve never met on an anonymous debate app who recently suffered a horrible tragedy asked for an uplifting story or quote and I drew a total blank. Even though I did not know this person in the least, my heart went out to her and I wanted to help alleviate her pain. Surely I must know some positive quote or story I could share? Why can’t I think of anything?

Then it occurred to me that the most uplifting stories we can tell are the stories of our departed loved ones. When we share our memories of people we love who have passed, we bring them back to life. These stories are uplifting because they uplift our loved ones from their graves and allow them to live again.

...

omniku dot com
11/17/17 3:51 pm

Although I never met him, I know my great-grandfather through the stories of his life that my mother and grandfather told me. I gained valuable wisdom from his life lessons despite the fact he died long before I was born. I feel like I know him so well it’s as if I’d actually met him. My hope is someday your grandchild will know your husband and your father the same way.

We live on in the memories of the people we love. So we must always keep telling the stories of their lives.

I hope you can find comfort during a difficult time.

.

ronderman North Carolina
11/17/17 1:52 pm

Wow Sunset. I am so sorry. I am happy to read below that you are planning on going back to church. Please do this sooner than later. You will need the support of people right now.

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ronderman North Carolina
11/17/17 2:28 pm

Good. It's a fresh start in your life. You have had a tragedy, but there is a lot you can leave behind now. They will help you.

missmorganmarie ...
11/17/17 9:34 am

I saw below in your comment to someone that you are now going to discover who you are, and I am so so happy to hear that. you and Connor both deserve happiness and everything great life has to offer. each day is hard, but it will get easier.

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missmorganmarie ...
11/17/17 9:34 am

keep moving forward, one day at a time, especially for your son. sending you hugs and prayers and asking the Lord to wrap His arms around you and Connor

missmorganmarie ...
11/17/17 9:57 am

I'm not sure if this will provide comfort, but it helped my friend when she lost her boyfriend last year

m.youtube.com/watch?v=ojlVRCIvLDE

cpaswr just say the letters
11/17/17 9:17 am

I’ve haven’t been on SOH for a week and I’m getting caught up.

I’m sorry to hear about your husband.

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sanstarr
11/17/17 8:39 am

Saying prayers for you and your family. May you find peace in knowing they are together in the presence of whomever your higher power is. 🙏🏻

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chickencookie It really is
11/17/17 6:28 am

“You don’t get over it,
you just get through it.
You don’t get by it,
because you can’t
get around it.
It doesn’t ‘get better’;
it just gets different.
Everyday… Grief puts
on a new face…”

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chickencookie It really is
11/17/17 6:31 am

May God and his angels be with you and Connor at this horrific time. Find strength in each other and pray for a new path in life.

HammeringMan Gods Away On Business
11/17/17 5:30 am

The pain of a lost love is a reflection of the many wonderful experiences you have shared. Those memories will guide you to a place where the pain is felt les and less.

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FacePalm That Trick Never Works
11/17/17 1:36 am

You strike me as a survivor, someone who perseveres. Below you said that you had no choice but to continue, but you do have a choice.

And every time, you choose life. It is so natural for you that you don’t even think about it. You just ... do.
That is Strength.

You think of your son. You work to make his life a good one.
That is Love.

You reach out to others when you feel weak. You recognize the value of connection.
That is wisdom.

You will grow. Your son will grow. Everything changes. Embrace it. Learn from it.

Remember.
.

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SunsetLeopard Still writing my story
11/17/17 6:04 am

I absolutely love this 💖💖💖 Thank you

GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
11/17/17 7:08 am

FP, that is very profound and well said. I agree with every word of it.

kspells TheOtherOtherside
11/17/17 1:27 am

I wish there were words that could ease your grief, I’d say them over and over, but we have none. The only thing I can come up with, that helped me, a little is that when grieving, great pain doesn’t prove great love. Grief is the worst of all feelings and the easiest to make worse. Try to keep from making it worse. Remember you don’t deserve the pain. No one does. I’m so sorry.

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Red4799 Asking the Big Questions
11/16/17 11:41 pm

Faith in humanity restored

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MachoMatt84 Mountain climbing
11/16/17 11:04 pm

"Life is like a dick: sometimes it gets hard for no reason"

Jokes aside, there is some truth to that statement. However, life is worth living regardless and it can be hard to see the beauty in the ashes. If you look hard enough though, you will find the beauty through tragedy. What can be taken away from this terrible situation to use for good going forward? Very difficult to answer in the midst of the pain, but the answers will come out eventually. You've been thrust into a position you may not feel ready for, but God will never give you more than you can bear. Bend but don't break. God is by your side always. Take care

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SunsetLeopard Still writing my story
11/17/17 6:03 am

A few good things are I have an opportunity now to discover who I am. I can raise Conner completely how I want to raise him. I can go back to my home church and eventually rejoin the band. I have a chance now to learn how to live basically. I don't regret my life choices, but I can't deny they weren't always the best. Im 22 and have been with my husband for 7 years...do the math. I was so ready to start a family, that I skipped the whole phase of life where you learn who you are. I loved my husband dearly, but I molded and changed myself a lot to fit his preferences and ideals. I now have that chance. It may not feel like it any time soon, but in a way, this is a very freeing tragedy.

MachoMatt84 Mountain climbing
11/17/17 10:47 am

Good. Take some time to heal in the meantime. You seem to have the right mentality going forward. Stay strong

Louderthebetter
11/16/17 10:51 pm

Oh sunset😔no, other than to say keep moving forward. One step at a time. Take care of yourself. Good nourishment. Take a bath. Take a walk. Breathe from your gut, way down deep. And remind yourself your strong, capable and worthy of smiling again soon.
✌🏼peace and accord will find you. I’m sorry.

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Sentinel Ya ie wa noh
11/16/17 10:41 pm

My Aunt, who was 98 just past on the 13th.....the physical pain has subsided, now for the living to heal.....hold firm, Conner and you heal, a little time will go a long way.....

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SoCalGal
11/16/17 10:15 pm

My cousin died suddenly several weeks ago...no illness, no warning, a massive heart attack was the cause. Her sister and parents are understandably devastated. Last week her sister told us all on Facebook that she was going to take some time to mourn, so no Facebook, calls or texts and she didn’t know when she would talk to us again.
On her page were the most beautiful and loving comments from family and friends. We all told her she was loved and to reach out when she felt better. A few days ago she did.

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imanag My heaven on Earth
11/16/17 9:36 pm

You did a hard thing today and I feel certain that you did it with poise and strength. You have your heart focused on what is right. In my experience, when God closes a door (even when it feels like your fingers got slammed in it), He will open another door with better possibilities. You and Connor are loved. ((Hugs))

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lostriver Oregon
11/16/17 9:24 pm

Losing a loved one is never easy. There is no cook book formula on how to deal with the emptiness we all feel. But if your loved ones could talk to they would want you to be strong an move on. They certainly would not want you to be sad and lonely for ever. It takes time, but you will het though this.

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Andrew99911 Where is the Source
11/16/17 9:22 pm

Sometimes we’re sad about the people we lose, but just like a child picks the prettiest flower in the garden, God picks us to spend time with him in Heaven.

Stay strong, and don’t give up

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Harry3603 Tampa Bay Florida.
11/16/17 9:06 pm

Four years ago in February, I lost my wife to Sepsis. This was very
Much unexpected, because she had been receiving antibiotics via transfusion under the supervision of an infectious disease specialist. Her problems resulted from Type II Diabetes, which undermines the immune system. It hit me very hard as she is the love of my life and we had been married just under 51 years. The hospital nurses told me about a service that a Hospice facility provided in the form of a support group run by a grief counselor. I stayed with it for about six months and found that regularly talking with our three children worked better for me. There are a lot of caring people who are skilled and would love to work you into their program.

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Harry3603 Tampa Bay Florida.
11/16/17 9:06 pm

I still miss my wife every day, but seeking help is very rewarding. Don't be afraid to seek help. Your life has experienced a trauma that would easily overwhelm anyone. Don't be afraid to ask for help! You are not being weak, but working to provide your son with a normal, healthy life.

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
11/16/17 8:52 pm

Been keeping you in prayer. One time a little girl walked up to me and said that I look just like Rosanne. Her mother just about fainted.

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jarod California
11/16/17 8:42 pm

"Hard times are like a washing machine. They twist, turn, and knock us around, but in the end we come out cleaner, brighter, and better than ever before."

Sorry you have to deal with this Sunset. You will get through it.

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GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
11/16/17 8:36 pm

The key is in the first two words of your post ... “I survived.”

I am happy that you are getting through this, one day at a time.


.

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SunsetLeopard Still writing my story
11/16/17 8:38 pm

I don't have a choice. I have a son to raise.

GrandmaALiCE For a better 2021
11/16/17 8:46 pm

That’s true. Stay strong for Connor. Take care of yourself for Connor’s sake.

How is Connor doing?

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
11/16/17 8:53 pm

Yes you still have a son. As horrific as this is. You and Conor made it!

SunsetLeopard Still writing my story
11/17/17 5:55 am

So far Conner is doing great. We still went to playgroup yesterday and I'll take him to gym this morning. He has been adjusting really well. He has been a bit EXTRA clingy to me, but my aunt and cousins have been helping tremendously by distracting him and watching him while I go take care of things. As long as noone says "dada" around him, and we keep all pics of my husband out of site, I think he's ok.

deist
11/16/17 8:30 pm

Oh sunset , I’m so so sorry ... but I’m really glad your still here .. I remember first joining Show Of Hands and you were here.. it was fun back then .. your a wonderful person.

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deist
11/16/17 8:47 pm

Your very welcome sunset,,, I know you’ve seen tuff days.. you deserve acknowledgement Because your honest and good and that takes strength ...

deist
11/16/17 10:11 pm

Cuz I bet your not complaining about being short to buy a Leonardo .... as trump would say “ your a loser”. Winners buy Leonardo paintings ...

jimiscott Survivor
11/16/17 8:29 pm

I’m sorry you had to go through this. No one should ever have to experience something like this, ever.

On a lighter note... I’m making big gains on the new chicken coop and the grandkids are getting big. Annabelle turned 4 on Tuesday so we took them to Incredible Pizza to have fun.

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TopsQueen Oregon Coast
11/16/17 8:56 pm

Already!!!!! Jim I love you. Give your wonderful wife a giant hug from me. We saw a big dog. Gavin was going to try to ride it. He loves horse therapy.