Tell me a story.
A seven point orange cat named Harley often stared a hundred pound black dog down and then calmly washed her small white paws while the dog backed away. When she died, we put a lion on her grave.
Once upon a time, there was once a man named Ash. He was very tall and kind of chubby. He liked to catch butterflies. One day, we went out to lunch. The end.
Sometimes, I dream about cheese.
A man had 3 sons, 1 joined the marines, and 2 the navy, all about 2 years apart, then 9/11 happened, they went to the dessert, 1 came home with PTSD, 1 came home ok, the 3rd came home with honors... And I am proud of all of them...
That's so awesome :) thanks to them for their service!
I'm thinking up all these stories right now, most of them are awkward moments of my life, but they all need too much background info! I'll keep thinking :)
Start telling! ;D
You could always use names, too. ;P
Haha there are wayyyy too many stories! And I guess a lot of them are situational too. I seriously need to write a book or something...haha I have interesting friends :)
You could always just type them up, and I could make a book out of them. :D Just kidding. You could write an autobiography entitled: Days in the Life of _____.
Haha we can combine my awkward life experiences with your writing talent! Days in the life of rlands...that has a nice ring to it :)
-____- Well, I tried. ;D
A farmer went to the state one year and saw all the huge pigs on exhibit and said to himself if only I could get a pig that big I would be famous. He went home and fed his biggest pig as much food as he could but the pig wouldn't gain enough weight.
So the farmer thought and thought and said well if he doesn't poop he will gain weight faster. So he decides I will shove a cork up the pigs butt and he will gain tons of weight. So the farmer corks the pigs butt and before too long the pig is huge.
Just in time for the state fair so the farmer takes his pig and he wins every medal and gets on the cover of magazines. Soon he is touring the country making huge amounts of money off this pig. After awhile the pig starts to seem sick and will not
Eat so the farmer takes the pig to the vet and the vet says you must remove that cork but I won't do it here because of the mess it will make. So the farmer thinks and thinks about how he can get this cork out without getting messy. He sits at a park
Thinking one day. He sees a monkey and an organ grinder. He says man if I train that money to get the cork out that would work. So the farmer buys a monkey and begins to train him day after day on how to get this cork out. He spends all his money on
Training this monkey but he feels bad for the pig and knows it has too be done. The big day comes and the monkey approaches the pig and pulls the cork out. At first nothing happens but then tons of crap begin communing out. So much crap it floods the
Farmers property engulfing his house. his farm, the pig, his family, and the monkey. The news crews arrive to see him the sole survivor laughing hysterically. The ask him you just lost everything and you are destitute. What is so funny?
Y'all should have seen that monkey trying to put that cork back in the pigs butt.
See, I would, but you don't know me all that well yet, hehe. I wouldn't want to scare you. ;P
Once upon a time, there was a lady who didn't have to work in the morning. She lay in bed playing around on her phone while her husband slept soundly beside her, because he had to work the next day.
One time when I was little I was down by the creek in my backyard with two my friends, Courtney and Haley. We were trying to get across the creek. Haley whispered to me "Let's convince her that thing right there is a rock."
So we did.
Courtney fell in to the creek up to her shoulders in December. She was wearing her new jeans she had just gotten for Christmas.
I cried myself to sleep that night out of guilt.
I think I heard that story before haha
It's the first thing I thought of. I have no idea why lol