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McMurphyJohnson December 17th, 2016 7:51am

If you were gay (or if you are gay) do you think everyone in your family would (does) accept your being gay?

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DiQuellaPira Columbus, Ohio
12/17/16 2:45 pm

All you have to do is fling their moral failings back at them and they'll back off.

UncleChickenHam New Hampshire
12/17/16 2:20 pm

My immediate would, not sure about the rest, don't see them enough to know.

BamaGirl ROLL TIDE from Arizona
12/17/16 1:54 pm

Heck no! It would quickly become one of those things that no one discussed.

EarlyBird Portland
12/17/16 1:25 pm

I know my family would be very accepting.

googer11 Minnesota
12/17/16 12:01 pm

My family would accept me, for who I am.

RussianThunder Russia and USA
12/17/16 11:33 am

Nope. They might try but it would be very very hard.

12/17/16 7:46 am

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OrkieDorkie this Purrssy grabs back
12/17/16 5:19 pm

That's heavy. So what is it you really are?

12/17/16 6:08 pm

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Nuclear Boaty McBoatface
12/17/16 2:49 am

Sort of. My father has a hard time rectifying his brainwashed conservative side with his human side to truly accept me being gay.

OrkieDorkie this Purrssy grabs back
12/17/16 2:42 am

I said no but the answer to that question is more nuanced than a yes or no answer can relay. I'm 41 now and I came out to my parents when I was 15. They were and are devout Southern Baptist Christians and their response was less than warmly receptive. We all adjusted through it which was a painful process that has left its mark on our relationship, but they have never stopped loving me. There is though quite a bit of distance and difference between us even now because my life and beliefs are not relatable to them in any way other than simply being their child and having grown up in their home and them raising me to the best of their ability. I have a younger brother that they relate to far more because he's a Baptist minister and has followed the prescribed life that that entails. Do they "accept" me? Yes, but they don't agree with my "lifestyle." I'm not hurt by it at this point. I've just grown accustomed to it. We all get along but not in an in-depth way. So... yes & no

McMurphyJohnson say what now
12/17/16 12:10 pm

Thanks for sharing!

12/17/16 2:02 am

My parents do, but I still hate that about myself. I am very accepting of my bdsm side though, but my parents aren't.

Kay41 the Midwest
12/17/16 8:58 am

I'm not trying to be rude or put you down. This is a genuine question. Why do your parents even know about your bdsm side? I fully understand telling them you are gay. I think that part is important and it's important that they accept you for who you are. But, why would you want to tell them and why would they want to know about the bdsm?

12/17/16 9:50 am

I am still ashamed of being gay. In my mind, there was no upside to it. If I had to say what being gay changed about my life, I'd only say "I have primarily male friends" or something small. In my mind there is a bubble of implications (not stereotypes) about being gay, and I don't follow them. My bdsm side is something that I personally identified with at my core. I never felt that there was a box of perceptions within the community (aside from things that would probably get you arrested if ignored). I fully identified with my interests in bdsm and wanted acceptance from my parents. When I dropped hints at both, I should have expected the outcome, but I never realized the non-greatness that was rejection of your sexual preferences. I eventually realized how much I wanted acceptance when I thought about how much I thought about telling them that I was into bdsm, and not that I was gay.

Kay41 the Midwest
12/17/16 10:03 am

I understand what you are saying. I don't know how old you are, but it is really important for you to start accepting who you are. There is nothing shameful about being gay. I do think it makes for a harder life with others not being always accepting of you. But, you have to be true to yourself. My fear for you is that you will spend too much of your life denying who you really are instead of embracing it and living your life to be happy. I'm not gay so I obviously can't completely understand what you are going through. But, I know acceptance of self is necessary to be truly happy. I would suggest seeing a counselor to help you work through these emotions. You deserve to be free to be you!

Kay41 the Midwest
12/17/16 10:04 am

And, I'm sorry if I got too personal. I wasn't trying to be nosy.

12/17/16 11:56 pm

I'm well aware my sexuality isn't something I can control but, it's just the implications of being in the box don't fit me nearly as much as other boxes do. I don't think there should be an issue with being gay (stds and availability issues aside). I can't expect people to accept me, but it's my parents of all people. It's not that I am denying who I am, I just don't really like it.
"I'm not gay so I obviously can't completely understand what you are going through. " it's not really about being gay, it's what is implied with it. It's the "well he's more likely to be a slut" (which can be substantiated), it's the "oh that should make him more liberal" (which can be substantiated) and just little things like that which I see NONE of myself in.

All in all however, it has dawned on me that I pay next to no attention to my mental health. I'd personally first go to some general psychological check up, but I'll consider the counselor at a later date. Thank you for the kind words.

5knuckledpika California
12/17/16 1:14 am

My parents would love and accept it, but the rest of my family wouldn't at all.

McMurphyJohnson say what now
12/17/16 12:51 am

My family would still love me, but the vast majority would not accept my being gay.