Show of HandsShow of Hands

Show Of Hands July 6th, 2013 12:28am

Would you be comfortable if your significant other(s) spent a lot of time with a friend belonging to the gender to which he/she is attracted?

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CollinN
07/21/13 6:26 pm

My boyfriend is bisexual lol

MoonFireDancer New Jersey
07/15/13 7:56 pm

I would let them, but I'd still be a bit uncomfortable given my self esteem.

sarahcatemilly Indiana
07/10/13 10:23 am

That would make me, as well as many other females, highly hypocritical. My best friend is a male and also my "significant other's" best friend. He should be allowed the same as me

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XercesBlue ...
07/13/13 2:19 am

I feel the same way. I might get jealous, but I realize that is my issue - not something he needs to deal with. If he avoids bringing me around her, I will wonder why though.

sims3man68 California
07/09/13 5:34 pm

I would trust my girlfriend until she gives me a legitimate reason not to.

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Apex swimming in the sky
07/08/13 10:23 pm

something is wrong if another person of same gender as me can satisfy my spouse better than me. that's like marrying a chef and always eating McDonald's. something's not right.

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cowboy Doors of Perception
07/08/13 10:46 am

The most politically correct question award goes to...

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heyyjude NC
07/08/13 10:05 am

I say no because we both work and don't have a lot of time to be together anyway. If he's spending "a lot" of time with a female friend, that doesn't leave much time for us and if he consistently wanted to spend more time with her than me, yes

heyyjude NC
07/08/13 10:06 am

I'd be bothered. Same with friends of his not preferred gender though.

cmcintosh Virginia
07/07/13 7:55 pm

I really appreciate the way this question is phrased. So often these types of questions are heteronormative, saying "someone of the opposite gender"

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aussieamyd
07/07/13 6:46 pm

I would feel even more confident if that friend had their own long term significant other

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davidadlavabit
07/07/13 5:36 pm

Yes, and I would be comfortable if they were more than friends, too! Monoamory/monogamy is selfish, arrogant, and often hypocritical, and I think it's time we move away from such a mindset.

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bubbaman
07/08/13 9:14 am

Sounds like you have some serious issues.

SunsetLeopard Still writing my story
07/07/13 11:00 am

I love how this question was so carefully worded lol

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Wycliff Huntington Beach, CA
07/07/13 12:21 am

To answer this colloquially, "hoes gonna ho". Crudely put I admit but the point stands, I see no reason to limit someone as a result of my jealousy. Besides if they do anything, I just upgrade.

iamgermanmade
07/06/13 8:18 pm

I'm bisexual so I guess I'm never allowed to talk to anyone again whoops

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Gingerred primum non nocere
07/06/13 10:35 pm

Don't be silly, bisexuals don't exist. You're secretly gay. Or secretly straight if you're a girl. Either way, it comes back to you wanting the d.

I thought everyone knew that.

TacticalBacon Funky Town
07/07/13 7:17 am

That is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard you ignorant fool.

Gingerred primum non nocere
07/07/13 10:35 am

Hostile much?

I'm bisexual myself.

Learn the art of sarcasm.

sailrealvty Downtown
07/06/13 7:36 pm

I really think there should be trust which means sure but unfortunately lots and lots of people aren't in healthy relationships.

That written; I would think they would be long time friends with me as well. Even that doesn't insulate you.

sailrealvty Downtown
07/06/13 7:41 pm

The Gift of Fear- I didn't react quickly enough to my intuition. My radar went up but I chose to ignore signs. Was trusting with a person that used the method of cheating end our marriages mated of just leaving.

Cowardly.

aggiekitty
07/06/13 7:18 pm

What can I say? I'm the jealous type...

TiltonAllStarz Outside Ur Comfort Zone
07/06/13 6:31 pm

Trust is mandatory.
Stupidity is optional.
I'm not the jealous type, but I'm not dumb either.

coach60
07/06/13 5:53 pm

Now that was a politically correct question. I guess if you didn't ask it that way someone would have sued you for discrimination.

dilbert The Dakotas
07/06/13 4:25 pm

One of my husband's best friends is a girl. If something was going to happen between them, it would've happened long before I came along. But anyone else, I'd need to know the girl well.

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Mable
07/06/13 4:25 pm

I have been cheated on and I still believe no one can be "stolen". someone who is happy and has a moral compass won't cheat, regardless of how "hot" their friends are

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aubreyrose Chicago, IL
07/06/13 2:20 pm

That really depends on how much time is considered a lot of time.

ladyniner81 no hope for humanity
07/06/13 12:24 pm

depends if the other woman is attracted to him also. If she has no interest in him and only likes him as a friend, he's not going to get anywhere with her (unless he's a jackass) she's going to tell him to @#$! off. Otherwise, I'll worry. I have trust issues. but I'll give you a chNce.

lightsabr2 The Big Sky
07/06/13 11:56 am

This poll took super extra measures to remain inclusive and super politically correct.

fruitsmoothie45
07/06/13 1:07 pm

Which is good, because a strictly heterosexual scenario wouldn't have applied to me and many other people.

slytherin Los Angeles
07/06/13 11:31 am

My girlfriend is also bisexual, so if I was worried and paranoid, I'd be screwed. But I trust her, and that's the most important thing.

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skschroen always at school
07/06/13 11:30 am

If a guy has been friends with a girl since grade school- that kind of relationship is almost the same between siblings so no i wouldnt be worried. If it was more new i might be skeptical

StilettoMiss SF med law, meme queen
07/06/13 11:16 am

In a country where divorces are becoming increasingly common, if this poll has taught me anything, it's that a lot of people approach their relationships in an unhealthy way. And people wonder why they fail so often!

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Jabroney
07/06/13 11:14 am

Friendships with someone of the opposite sex who is in a relationship is not healthy. Casual friendships, yes. But not the best friend buddy-buddy kind of friendship... But most relationships are terrible to begin with, so who really cares.

Jabroney
07/06/13 11:16 am

Women think they can be, but all those friends they have secretly want to F them. And it's usually the only reason their "friends" are hanging out with them.

cyanospool The Deep North
07/06/13 11:59 am

So you think that if a man wants to have sex with a woman, it will automatically make her want to comply? Maybe for some this is the case, but if so, why date such a brainless insecure ho-bag? And if a male friend rapes her, it's not really cheating.

Skyrim nobody
07/06/13 10:43 am

I trust my girlfriend. She spends a lot of time with her female friends but also with me, so I don't have a reason to be uncomfortable. Also, if you can't trust someone in a relationship, you can't have much of a relationship, in my opinion.

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camlop San Diego, CA
07/06/13 10:13 am

Scientifically, no one can NOT be attracted to anyone from the gender they're attracted to... if that makes sense. For example, I've imagined myself romantically being with every single guy I've ever met, even though I didn't want to.

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Mable
07/06/13 4:19 pm

No, that actually makes zero sense. I'm a hetero female and have not been attracted to about 85% of the men I've ever met. Not sure what you're basing your statement on.

coldra
07/06/13 8:42 pm

I think that's just you, dear

ilovelamp Trenton
07/07/13 2:40 pm

Yeah....ive never thought about my gma's friends naked so...this theory is bologna.

Apex swimming in the sky
07/08/13 10:25 pm

cam. you are a hopeless romantic. haven't found the right man to send you to the moon while you scream. so you're still hunting for him.

DrReid Ever present.
07/06/13 9:11 am

I am just not the type of person to be jealous, nor is she.

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Injectable Trump Killed Babbitt
07/06/13 9:01 am

Tried dating a girl who had a bunch of guy friends. She was a bit of a flirt and although I thought I trusted her, I began to feel like a bit of a chump. Jealousy progressed from there, followed by the inevitable end. Wouldn't try again. I think its impossible if you have trust issues...

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Jabroney
07/06/13 11:19 am

I don't think it even has anything to do with trust issues. It's that all/most guys want to F their female friends, and the girl just has to make one tiny slip and boom goes the dynamite.

Mable
07/06/13 4:21 pm

Jabroney, do you really believe that? I'm a female and I don't believe that. I have plenty of male Co workers, friends, and female friends' hubbies in my life and I think it's a bit if a stretch to say they all want to F me.

KAnne Atlantic City, NJ
07/06/13 8:37 am

There's something wrong in the relationship if you can't trust your significant other.

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bkcrt California
07/06/13 10:10 am

I trust my wife. I don't trust all those guys.

KAnne Atlantic City, NJ
07/06/13 11:33 am

The way I see it, all you have to fear from their friend(s) is them being taking advantage of. What if your wife's female friend is a lesbian? Would you not trust that friend either?

Moon Iowa
07/06/13 8:31 am

I trust her, I don't trust him.

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true Home
07/06/13 8:23 am

I trust my him. He needs to spend some time with a few other women. Although the 2 of them spending a lot of time together would catch my attention and i would probably look into things and talk to him about it.

iJake Colorado
07/06/13 8:04 am

You mean my significant other being attracted to the opposite sex? OH WAIT WE CAN SAY THAT ANYMORE.

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dlaw4570
07/06/13 7:52 am

Could you be a little more PC please? And clearer?

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hippiedude fields of green
07/06/13 7:54 am

Gtfo. This isnt government run he can be as unPC as he wants.

Jabroney
07/06/13 11:21 am

Maybe you can create a Christian Kansas SOH...

Threeper301 Gilbert, AZ
07/06/13 7:50 am

Anyone who's been cheated on is probably answering "no", and understandably so.

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emmahz
07/06/13 7:42 am

I have a lot of friends I met under circumstances that don't really allow for a romance to develop, and I would want the trust to spend time with them, so I would give that same trust until I became comfortable with it.

webbseng
07/06/13 7:19 am

I use to have a boy best friend. One of his best friends is a girl. I am not really the jealous type so I don't mind so much.

uglyfemme Colorado Springs
07/06/13 7:07 am

I don't mind my boyfriend having girl friends, though I am uncomfortable with him spending too much time with girls. Every single male I've been friends with has hit on me repeatedly so I expect it from men. Also I have worked some crappy jobs that

uglyfemme Colorado Springs
07/06/13 7:08 am

have made me weary of men, including my dad who a great person. I definitely would rather my partner not, but if he really wanted to I wouldn't stop him.

unicornpoo Texas
07/06/13 6:38 am

Spending SOME time with attracted-to gender friends - no problem. Spending a LOT of time with attracted-to gender friend - there's a big problem.

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getupbaby South City
07/06/13 6:25 am

Fuck no. She has plenty of friends.

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gvangijs5
07/06/13 6:04 am

absolutely. I know my wife's guy friends. they're great. it's not like she'd spend more time with them than me and the kids.

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s4mm1 MD SLP
07/06/13 4:37 am

If you don't trust your partner to have friends of the gender they are attracted to, your relationship needs serious work.

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bkcrt California
07/06/13 10:12 am

I trust my wife. I don't trust those guys.

Jabroney
07/06/13 11:24 am

It's that the women just has to make one mistake and there's a dude right on hand to pound her when she's drunk and makes that mistake.

gjb2779
07/06/13 4:05 am

If its someone they've known for a longtime & I know them too then yes cause I'd know there isn't anything between them. New friends, I'd be skeptical

bluescrubz
07/06/13 12:26 am

I trust my partner. And also i would need to know that other person is completely unattractive

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8ESBABY Houston
07/06/13 3:37 am

Yeah, but its not your judgement, its your mates (changes the game eh??)
Ppl tell me I'm the "dangerous" type b/c I don't have a "type", I have fetishes - like HUGE knees/knee caps. (Chris Pratt from Parks and Rec is a prime example).

8ESBABY Houston
07/06/13 3:46 am

Wait a min, I misinterpreted Blu..disregard my 1st sentence (it said gender so not the person per se).

This changes my answer then. Not no, but hell no! Guys have 2 types of female friends: those they've screwed, and those they have yet to.

arctostaphylos Ankh Morpork, New York
07/06/13 6:26 am

...and those that they've known since childhood (whom they view as sisters); and those that they haven't known since childhood but aren't romantically or physically interested in because, believe it or not, some guys can actually view women as *humans* and not just sex dispensers...

Congressman Louisiana
07/06/13 7:00 am

8 that's very sexist. I have several girls who have been friends for many years and I consider them sisters. I love them unconditionally and am protective of them. But no you go ahead and fall for every guy who has big knees because that's mature.

theflash greater NYC
07/06/13 7:16 am

You know what they say about big knees...

Jabroney
07/06/13 11:27 am

I'm a dude and 8baby is completely right... Stop lying to yourself fella's... Men are only able to be friends with un-attractive women. Yes you can be friends with attractive women, but you're going to be trying to work your way into their pants.

Jabroney
07/06/13 11:29 am

It is different if you've know them for a LONG time and grew up together. But you've still got to keep a certain distance if you're in a relationship.

Congressman Louisiana
07/06/13 12:31 pm

You're wrong. I've had a friend I've known for well over 10 years now, we went to junior high together. We were inseparable and yea she's good looking, but I love her in a different way. It's possible. People who say no are just insecure.

arctostaphylos Ankh Morpork, New York
07/06/13 1:53 pm

Congressman, I think you're wrong. I don't think people who say "no" are just insecure; I think people who say "no" are incapable of viewing others as humans rather than objects to be categorized. Notice how black-and-white the naysayers are describing gender relations...

8ESBABY Houston
07/10/13 5:36 pm

Congressman: I like knees, not young boys! I really don't see the "immaturity" in that, but ok, that's your opinion.

TheTrashman Savannah, Georgia
07/06/13 12:12 am

It really depends on how well I know the person she's hanging out with. We share a lot of the same friends, so chances are I would not mind. But if I have never met/didn't like him, I would probably be a little uneasy.

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Jabroney
07/06/13 11:30 am

The trashman! I like it Frankyboy

cato Santa Barbara, California
07/05/13 11:53 pm

Sure. If she wants to make a change, me being concerned won't change a thing.

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cyanospool The Deep North
07/05/13 11:16 pm

He's attracted to both, so it'd be ridiculous not to be comfortable with whomever he hangs out with solely based on gender.

cyanospool The Deep North
07/05/13 11:34 pm

Then again, if he suddenly starts spending *a ton* of time with any person, I might get suspicious. Not necessarily cheating either, there are a million bad things he could get into that are far less reparable than a silly fling.