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chickencookie July 5th, 2013 10:32pm

My teenager is being bitchy and mean. Are there moments when you feel like you hate your kids? How do you deal with it? Do you have any advice?

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OldLady
07/06/13 4:17 pm

My daughter and I fought so very bad when she was a teen. Screaming, slamming doors, between her raging hormones and my non-existing hormones it was bad. People can't believe we are as closes as we are now. Above all remember you are the adult :)

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EsperanzaGomez TakeOldAmericaBack
07/06/13 10:28 am

She's going to treat you how you treat her , there must be a reason why she's acting out ... If so come to a compromise . Spend time with her don't make her feel distant .

elianastar Gab.ai FreeSpeech
07/06/13 12:46 pm

Well, that's not necessarily true. We seriously thought @ one point our daughter might need psy help, she was so emotionally reactive. Completely out of character for her, *or* us. Hormones can do evil things to adolescents!

duey in a fools paradise
07/06/13 5:12 am

Its designed this way to make it easier for them to leave the family nest. Girls are the worst!

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elianastar Gab.ai FreeSpeech
07/06/13 12:49 pm

Yeah. Cuz the boys'll just murder you in your sleep. Heehee. Problem solved. Seriously. Girls *are* the worst for emotional drama.

elianastar Gab.ai FreeSpeech
07/06/13 12:51 pm

... & it is also part of the natural, normal, process of "testing wings to leave the nest"... boys & girls. It's suppose to be a little ugly on both sides so everyone is happy when the break comes. ;-)

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
07/05/13 10:03 pm

There was a comedian on years ago. She said she believed in abortion. If you can kill them of the first nine months of life , you should be able to kill them during the next 18 years.

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think4yourself Not a safe space
07/05/13 11:02 pm

Don't give the liberals any ideas.

TreeHugs Oregon
07/06/13 9:28 am

Bill Cosby said, "I brought you in this world and I can take you out!"

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
07/06/13 10:39 am

Gemini, that was one of my husbands favorite quotes. He's the father of five.

elianastar Gab.ai FreeSpeech
07/06/13 1:00 pm

Mark Twain, the humorist, had these words of advise on raising children. He said, “When they become teenagers put them in a barrel and fed them through the knot hole. When they turn sixteen stop up the knot hole!”

OldLady
07/06/13 4:31 pm

Thanks elianastar, great article, I've forwarded it to my daughter

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
07/05/13 10:01 pm

When I grew up in the 50s they would show mothers putting their heads in the oven supposedly to gas themselves. Until I became a mother of a teenager I thought that was stupid. After that I understood it. You love him so much when they're babies.

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TopsQueen Oregon Coast
07/05/13 10:01 pm

If they did not become obnoxious you would never want to let them go.

Reneezii Exodus 20. 8 to 11
07/05/13 8:28 pm

Just look back at when they were a baby and all the reasons why you love them. I look at my 1 yr old son now and think I could never hate him or feel like I hate him but I often look to the future as well and expect him to be a bratty teen. So I..

Reneezii Exodus 20. 8 to 11
07/05/13 8:29 pm

Cherish the moments right now and love on him as much as I can so when he does hit the bratty teen years, I can look back on the baby days where all I felt was love and remember why I love him. And don't give your daughter a reaction!

Steve6453 Michigan
07/05/13 7:21 pm

I think itd help us help you if we know what she did. Most people arnt "bitchy and mean" for no reasson. What is she mad at you for?

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badattitude no place like home
07/05/13 6:29 pm

The definition of teenagers is bad roommate. They're not even your kids anymore. They don't pay rent, they eat your food, they leave a mess and don't clean it up. They steal your stuff. They're just the worst roommates in the world.

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OldLady
07/05/13 6:19 pm

I agree with others, teenaged should be shipped away at 12 and can come home after high school. My daughter has apologized many time.
Pick you battles, have a open door policy they can talk to you about anything. And grandchildren are worth it

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elianastar Gab.ai FreeSpeech
07/05/13 5:29 pm

Grandkids are your reward for not killing your kids. A Star-original. Use it as a mantra if you like. My 30+ daughter started calling, emailing, &/or apologizing to my face after she had our granddaughter. She was, overall, a great kid, but...

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elianastar Gab.ai FreeSpeech
07/05/13 5:33 pm

... there were moments when we wanted to kill her & tell G-d she died. Never let 'em see you sweat. "Love those who hate you," works well. If truly disrespectful, *must* address that: I understand you are upset/stressed, express w/more kindness, plz.

1txteacher Dickinson Gator Swamp
07/05/13 5:55 pm

My momma says that, "kill 'em and tell God they died."

elianastar Gab.ai FreeSpeech
07/06/13 12:43 pm

I got that from my maternal grandma; heard it all my life! :-)

MassAsks Boston
07/05/13 5:25 pm

Discipline...

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1txteacher Dickinson Gator Swamp
07/05/13 5:25 pm

Start with time and distance but during that time for you to think they need to think to. We take their phones computers etc. decide on punishment and stick to it depending if just temporary grounding is enough or not.

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1txteacher Dickinson Gator Swamp
07/05/13 5:27 pm

1. Don't discipline when when your angry.
2. Stick to it don't let them off easy the world won't!
3. The closer the get to graduating from high school the worse it gets, God uses their senior year to make you ready for them to LEAVE!

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
07/06/13 12:39 am

Amen sister.

america95 Georgia
07/05/13 5:03 pm

Just give em the good old fashioned backhand. It worked on us when we were younger

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stickman46 NJ
07/05/13 5:03 pm

I was only useful to my teenage son when the Internet went down. Now as he is in his 20's he appreciates all we have done - especially being debt-free on graduating college. He gets it now.

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Kay41 the Midwest
07/05/13 5:00 pm

I have never felt like I have hated them but there have been some trying times. Follow through with discipline is key when they are acting up.

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chinito Florida
07/05/13 4:43 pm

Tough love. Remember, you are the boss.

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2katz I live in Nebraska
07/05/13 4:17 pm

I would give about anything to be able to apologize to my mom.

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comppete Las Vegas
07/05/13 4:16 pm

You never really hate the child, you actually hate their actions and are disappointed in them that they act that way. It will pass. You have to always remember that everyone has bad days. Even you.

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dreamitliveit IDLH
07/05/13 4:05 pm

Don't take your kid's behavior personally. Maybe your kid needs your help with something, or needs someone to talk to. Teens are at a really hard age, where they're not really kids anymore, but they're not adults either. Try to be understanding & fun

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TempName14 Everywhere but nowhere
07/05/13 3:51 pm

Try water boarding. It's worked great for us.

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JollyMan93 Big Sky Guy
07/05/13 3:57 pm

@ okie your tips help ppl out everyday. This man deserves a medal

Kris Humidity Central
07/05/13 4:15 pm

It's not that bad once you get used to it.

JollyMan93 Big Sky Guy
07/05/13 4:17 pm

I wish I had it that easy..my mom just locked me in the dungeon with no and limited water for a week

kindocologist Beer is my friend
07/05/13 5:00 pm

Best advice I have ever heard.

DavesNotHere where am I
07/05/13 7:08 pm

I enjoyed it.

Kris Humidity Central
07/05/13 3:48 pm

Depends how you should respond to accordance with your kid.

If your kid is anything like me, smack them, NOW.

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rlands
07/05/13 3:38 pm

Just take a breath and put yourself in her shoes. I'm not a mom, but I've done a lot of child care over the years. I just try to keep my cool and especially with teens let them know it doesn't get to me.

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JollyMan93 Big Sky Guy
07/05/13 3:45 pm

Us young ppl can suck lol..specially the teens. Rlands is right I think

YouWantMeToPay ... for THIS
07/05/13 3:38 pm

One swift kick to the carotid should buy you a few moments of peaceful, "me time".

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dramaschick All ways in my head
07/05/13 3:35 pm

I had a smart mouth but I was scared of my mom so I will probably use the same approach

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leary Dulag Luft
07/05/13 3:34 pm

Time and distance.

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inge MIA
07/05/13 3:34 pm

My son is only three. I do remember how horrible I was to my mom as a teenager...if it is any help now, one day your kid will realize what hell they put you through. I am 26 and still apologize to my mom. :)

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bMyComrade Stumptown
07/05/13 3:49 pm

I apologize to my parents sometimes too. It's sweet because my dad apologizes back :)

TempName14 Everywhere but nowhere
07/05/13 3:54 pm

There's a great book by a psychologist named Glen Latham. Quick read. I recommend it.

TempName14 Everywhere but nowhere
07/05/13 3:58 pm

And he's a Mormon too. :-) "the power of positive parenting." I'll send you our copy if you wish.

WillametteKevin Mossopolis
07/05/13 4:19 pm

My daughter turned 27 a month ago. There have been times recently that she has apologized for being…complicated.

inge MIA
07/05/13 4:20 pm

I just ordered it on Amazon. After seeing how little my son's dad really wants to do with him, I've been looking for any parenting book I can get my hands on to help me be a better mother to him.

TempName14 Everywhere but nowhere
07/05/13 4:24 pm

It's the secret book that should have popped-out with each child at birth. It formed the basis of how we disciplined in our home. My 4 boys are confident and well adjusted as a result. I'm sure you'll enjoy it Inge.

inge MIA
07/05/13 4:27 pm

I was shocked at how positive the reviews were. I'll let you know what I think of it.

TempName14 Everywhere but nowhere
07/05/13 4:44 pm

My wife and I are grateful for it. He's passed away now, but he was such a sweet man. He corresponded with us by phone and mail to answer parenting questions for us. We saw him speak 2-3 times. His wife wrote us a note after his passing. We love him.

TempName14 Everywhere but nowhere
07/05/13 4:45 pm

The trick is to modify your response as a parent. It takes time to train yourself. It's a bit of work. The book is practical: do xyz when this happens; do abc when this happens, etc.