Should men be the leaders in relationships?
I voted "no way" because I don't believe the "leader" of a relationship should be restricted to one gender or the other.
Someone has to make the final say in disagreements, though. Say he thinks the family should move, but she would rather not. Then what?
Oh, I have no problem with somebody making the final say. I just don't think it will be the man in every single relationship or even the same person every time.
It's up to the couple who it'll be; the choice can be to leave it up to him.
Exactly. Someone has to make the final say in any situation, but there are too many things which must be taken into account. It's not right to say that the man is the only one to make that final say.
It's not always one person. It varies.
He can take advice and suggestions from her, as well. I'm not saying he has to make the final decision on his own.
I find this funny. Tayen is defending male supremacy, while I'm over here advocating feminism.
I don't see it as a gender issue at all. I'm my relationships, whoever objected held the final say because they didnt prefer it more than the other person wanted it. Either way, in a relationship you compromise - you try for win-win or at least a
Sort of. ???? I don't believe in men ruling with an iron fist by any means, but with love and respect for his partner. Making decisions with her best interest in mind.
Balanced "win" rate.
All of my relationships are not that one-sided. We consider ourselves equal in the relationship and make decisions together. There is no one person deciding for the couple, there are two people coming to the decision together. The final say is discus
Sed and decide on based on conversation.
Idk. I cannot relate to that sort of relationship.
Last thing.. If my man truly respected me, he would understand that I am fully capable of making my own decisions! I would not date a man that felt the need to decide things for me. Ever.
Exactly! Women are equal to men in every way. They don't need a man to make decisions for them. Compromise is the best solution. You decide together or there is no balance in the relationship - in my opinion.
That's what I'm talking about. I don't mean that the man should be more important or higher up than the woman, only that he can have the final day - after discussing and considering *with* his partner.
I'm not claiming that females are incapable of making decisions or that they should be left out of making choices. Letting men lead can be very empowering in a positive way. It shows that the woman can trust and respect him. They need respect too.
Still - no. Lesbian relationships, non-monogamous relationships or even heterosexual relationships all have extraneous factors which would determine who makes the decisions, when they do and why.
Tay, do you feel the same way if it were the woman making the decisions for the man in her relationship?
Do you feel that letting women lead the relationship is (positively) empowering to the man?
I'm being sincere, btw, I'm not trying to be an ass. Please let me know if I'm being offensive.
You're taking control. ;) I like it. Haha... Still not empowering. I revert back to the statement: it's all about balance.
Not at all. Women are naturally more nurturing, and men are more naturally leaders. When women take the leading role it leaves men pushed out of their position where they're comfortable and confident. I'm not saying men can't comfort or women can't
handle or shouldn't make any choices, just that I've seen relationships work far better when the man is able to lead things and the woman support him.
Ah. I can see where you're coming from with the gender roles or your preferred gender roles. For me and Luch, we see the gender roles differently and therefore are unable to really agree with yours. It's not personal.
Just as yours are set, so are ours, ya know?
I'm a nurturing leader. I really don't like assigning traits based on gender. A persons sex doesn't decide who they are.
As I said, mrL, men can be nurturing and comforting, but also leaders, like you said.
I come from an environment with bread-winning women personally.
I don't, haha. I'm just a feminist. ;P
New York has a fair amount of powerful women, but they're greatly outnumbered by men, not that it's wrong... It's just a fact. :)
I'm not talking about jobs and who makes the money with this poll - a woman can support and love her husband by working.
We know. Just making statements. (:
I'm saying that my mother is the head of our family, breaking the stereotypical gender roles, in an attempt to express that the male is no longer considered to be the head of the family or the relationship and that sterotypical gender roles are
Saying that she is working to "support" him truly offends me. She does not rely on a man to be in her life. Their relationship isn't governed by him simply because he is male. She established herself and chose to be with a man she loved in a
I definitely know that they're changing. I don't think that they always should, but they are.
Relationship with respect towards both opinions without one person having a "dominant" opinion. I know it shouldn't offend me, but the idea that the man is necessary or at the top of the relationship offends me.
I know our ideas on gender roles are different and there is nothing wrong with that. Sorry for being so defensive!
Would it offend you if I took her side and said she should make the decisions and he should support and encourage her? In order to have a heterosexual, monogamous relationship a man is necessary, just as much as a woman.
Gafiate, you're dating someone, right? hehe, jkjk. ;)
You're in a relationship for love and support, that doesn't entail the need for a dominant gender.
MrL - no, it's not needed, but it can make things better. Personally, my own relationship flourished when I told him that I trust and respect him and want him to lead and take care of me.
Oh, tayen, it makes me feel a lot better that you are a woman. I can totally understand it when women want the men to take care of them, it's definitely reassuring, but some of us like it more "equal" in responsibility.
If I trust someone, I still wouldn't give up my power. A relationship is 50%/50%. Giving up your power throws that balance off, in my opinion. What works for you is fine. Glad things are working out well.
Lol. Yeah - I care about him, but I wouldn't call it love yet. He takes care of me when I need the support, but he knows I make my own decisions. He has joked that if I am willing to be the bread winner, he'll be the housewife ;) can't afford all of
The toys he wants though lol. Idk. Hope you two have a great day and a great holiday weekend!!
Haha, I am a woman. I don't want less responsibility or for it to be unequal; I just want different responsibilities.
I try to do 50-50 too. I hate feeling like I owe him or he owes me.
Ah damn, gafiate. ); Guess I'm stuck. Same goes to you. I'm sure we'll be seeing each other a great many times through the week, haha. ;P
Tay - sorry! I had very poor wording with that statement.
I knew what you were getting at. (:
There are many different aspects to take into consideration. I said "no way," because there are different parts of relationships, some of which are better led by the opposite gender. Women are equals to men in every way, it's no longer "man only"
decision making. It's about pleasing the other person by whatever reasonable means it takes. Balance and adaptation are key in a successful relationship.
The man leading should be about caring for the woman (and children if involved), and the woman helping about caring for the man. It doesn't always work like that, obviously, but in a healthy relationship it would be about working for the other person
I disagree... That's such an antiquated view of gender roles. Women aren't just housewives. Show of hands offers many prime examples of strong, independent women. For example: EarlyBird, Inge, Zimmeress, Nizabelle, mmangone, bMyComrade, and so on.
Where did I say anything about being a housewife?
Ah, I misread the first sentence. :)
The relationships are all about love for one another, so whatever works to provide the best relationship is what has to be done. That's not always reliant on a male or his decision making.
Every relationship is different. Some men like dominate women. Some women like dominate men. One size doesn't fit all.
There has to be a balance. Sometimes I make decisions and sometimes he does. If he starts taking control of me he's out faster than you can say "overprotective boyfriend"!
Taking control is very different than having it offered and/or using the leadership role in a loving way.
That's true...I'm not sure there necessarily has to be a leader. Every decision should be a joint decision.