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Arya8 August 11th, 2016 2:47pm

Jane is a stay at home mom who is miserably married to a manipulative alcoholic, but cannot leave due to finances. Her husband is mostly uninvolved with the kids. The family has no health insurance and lives in a bad neighborhood. Good for the kids?

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ovcourse Commiefornia FJB
08/11/16 8:39 am

It's not good for the kids, but it's likely better than it would be if she had to raise the kids alone.

Arya8
08/11/16 8:55 am

I disagree with that. Neither are optimal, though.

phen nebraska
08/11/16 9:06 am

I disagree as well. What are the kids learning from that situation? To stay miserable bc you are scared to work out leave a horrible person. Not going to change that cycle too quick

ovcourse Commiefornia FJB
08/11/16 9:43 am

The thing I was thinking is that if Jane is a stay-at-home mom, then if she had to go back to work, she would likely not make as much money as her husband, since she has been out of the job market (it's easier to find work, and to command more pay if you already have a job). If that were the case, then financially Jane and her kids would be even worse off, and how would she be able to pay for child care?

Arya8
08/11/16 10:24 am

That is true, but being in that abusive household is the worst part of their situation, IMO.

If I were Jane, I would leave my husband, enroll in college if I wasn't educated, work part time, seek some government help short term while I made myself more employable. The optimal situation would be having family to lean on during those times.

ovcourse Commiefornia FJB
08/11/16 10:57 am

Another option would be to get a job, gain work experience, get some raises and then leave her husband.

Arya8
08/11/16 10:59 am

True, but that could take years of staying with him and her kids seeing her be mistreated. If she has daughters, they're learning how they deserve to be treated. If she has sons, they're learning how to treat future wives. Bad all around.

ovcourse Commiefornia FJB
08/11/16 11:03 am

Agreed. I applaud anyone who finds a way out of that kind of situation and makes a better life for themselves and their children.