John has chronic headaches. He refuses to take medication, refuses to do stretches, to rest, to try heat or ice, or to see a doctor. John keeps complaining to you about his headaches. Do you tell John to shut up?
No, I say"John, shut the fuck up!"
Yes, but not quite like that. I'd soften it a tad. Hey John, man, you know if you aren't going to see a doctor, then you're going to have to find a way to just deal with it.
Then I'd laugh and make a joke about him complaining about his headache is giving me a headache...lol
Every time he brings it up, I say "Don't want to hear it!".
Indirectly maybe, with a lot more subtlety: ”Gees John, really a bummer about your headaches. Is there anything you could try that might help, medication, stretches, getting more rest, heat or ice? How about seeing a doctor? Would you like to go to the clinic, John? I'll give you a ride over there right now."
Yes, you've already said that to John and John says "I don't want to do those things. I don't like to take medicine. I don't like going to the doctor." Lol.
Then I say them again, every time John says something about his headache. He'll get tired of bringing it up, eventually.
I will eventually.
In a more subtle yet direct way.
Not in those words, no.