Show of HandsShow of Hands

voc April 22nd, 2016 1:59am

I'm a bit sad tonight. I just had my best friend unfriend me because I got into an argument with his wife over trans issues on Facebook. Have you ever lost a friend over a stupid reason?

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Greenie Social Democrat
04/25/16 5:23 pm

Anyone who can't look past a political disagreement isn't worth having as a friend.

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Celadonne ballfield
04/23/16 8:23 pm

Sorry to hear, voc. Having been written off several times, I've learned that that behavior is entirely a product of their knee-jerk overreactions and pride and has nothing to do with me. They do it to others as well. It's an unfortunate pattern.

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Wino I need a drink
04/22/16 8:19 pm

One of my good friends married an extremely self righteous right winger. I kept my mouth closed until equal rights came up. I can take so much until you try to treat my friends like second class citizens.

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pietsch Another Adoring Fan
04/22/16 5:40 pm

Any friendships lost over dumb disagreements aren't really friendships worth bothering with. Real friends have grace for one another. Love covers a multitude of sins.

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MrsCrayonWax
04/22/16 1:57 pm

How many friends have you lost because Ted Cruz is the antichrist?

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voc I am...what I am
04/22/16 2:29 pm

Surprisingly none. I usually don't get into it on Facebook, but I couldn't help myself.

MrsCrayonWax
04/22/16 3:15 pm

I keep mum on Facebook about social issues and politics but I will call out Cruz when necessary.

bioarchnomad Michigan
04/22/16 1:44 pm

When I studied in Singapore, there was this girl who I traveled with from my home university. One day when we were on a trip with a few other friends she just snapped and became this entirely different person - making snide remarks about everyone and everything. It escalated from petty comments to outright tantrums in 10 days. After that week she couldn't be in the same room as any of the 3 of us who were also on that trip, and we legitimately have no idea what happened that made her go off like that (we only suspect she was a raging narcissist and we weren't giving her enough attention)

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croopertrooper Greater Cincinnati Area
04/22/16 1:23 pm

Summer before freshman year of college, my best friend (who I was going to room with) had a party and I got drunk and puked. The entire time I was cleaning it up, he was threatening to beat me up with a baseball bat and threatened to get out his AK if I didn't clean faster (his dad was a cop and had shown me the AK before so I knew he could get it if he wanted to). I cleaned it up, went to bed, and we didn't see each other again until we moved into our dorm, and he ended up transferring colleges after the first quarter because we still weren't talking, and our other 2 roommates hated him too.

voc I am...what I am
04/22/16 2:30 pm

Wow. That's a bit drastic.

croopertrooper Greater Cincinnati Area
04/25/16 9:31 am

That was my thought too. I'd be pissed if someone puked in my house during a party but I'm not gonna threaten to kill them

ladyniner81 no hope for humanity
04/22/16 9:51 am

Yes, she was a drama queen and I don't miss her

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Rosebud Ohio
04/22/16 7:59 am

I told her husband to treat her well.

They're divorced now because, surprise surprise, he didn't.

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Rosebud Ohio
04/22/16 5:54 pm

We got in touch after her divorce, but never became friends again.

alynn Somewhere wonderful
04/22/16 7:31 am

I lost my best friend in elementary school because she took my DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince cassette.

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voc I am...what I am
04/22/16 7:47 am

LOL! I'm sorry to hear that, but that's kinda funny. Thank you for that.

Nemacyst No Lives Matter
04/22/16 4:24 am

This user is currently being ignored

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bethanyq Ess Eff
04/22/16 7:42 am

How's that a response? Both are horrible, unjustifiable things to do to another human being.

Nemacyst No Lives Matter
04/22/16 7:49 am

This user is currently being ignored

bethanyq Ess Eff
04/22/16 8:13 am

I really don't want to get into whatever drama this is.

Nemacyst No Lives Matter
04/22/16 8:33 am

This user is currently being ignored

Nemacyst No Lives Matter
04/22/16 10:59 am

This user is currently being ignored

bethanyq Ess Eff
04/22/16 11:15 am

Don't know how on earth you concluded from my dismissive response that I'm in favor of retribution. In fact, I'm pretty sure you know from other conversations we've had that I believe retribution is immature and counterproductive.

croopertrooper Greater Cincinnati Area
04/22/16 1:17 pm

This sounds like Ana interesting story. Your friend walked in on his gf cheating on him, then you guys concocted a plan to have you "date" her and have her walk in on you getting it on with another lady and then reveal that that had been the plan the whole time?

Nemacyst No Lives Matter
04/22/16 2:03 pm

This user is currently being ignored

TierasPet
04/22/16 2:32 am

I haven't and I'm sorry to hear that Voc.

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catpillow Florida West Coast
04/22/16 12:02 am

Yes, I lost a good friend because I found out he was gay. It didn't make a difference to me at all, but it was a problem for him. It was over 30 years ago and I still miss him.

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dfish at home
04/21/16 10:46 pm

No, but I also don't get into arguments on Facebook. Delete Facebook, you'll be glad you did

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voc I am...what I am
04/22/16 4:20 am

I'm thinking you're right

gallae Michigan
04/21/16 9:59 pm

Unfortunately, yes. I've gotten to the point where I ask if there is something that I'm doing wrong or if I attract really unstable people. I have had probably three or four instances where I lose a really close friend for dumb reasons. However, I lean more towards the idea that they are unstable, because this is a theme for them to bounce friends. But I still don't know why I attract those type of people.

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BamaGirl ROLL TIDE from Arizona
04/21/16 9:47 pm

That's horrible! I'm sorry! I had a friend's wife unfriend me over something stupid, but he didn't.

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susanr Colorado
04/21/16 9:24 pm

Not on social media; I try to stay out of that sort of thing on Facebook in particular.

In real life, only once that I know of, although the person never really explained *why* she just stopped talking to me. I *think* I know why, from something she told me not too long before it happened, but I was never sure. We worked in the same place so it was a little awkward.

I had a falling out with a best friend that lasted 15 years, but it wasn't a stupid reason. That was painful.

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crackelpoot
04/21/16 9:08 pm

Was it worth it?

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voc I am...what I am
04/22/16 4:18 am

Not even a little

chickencookie It really is
04/21/16 8:44 pm

Yes I have and sometimes things are said that you can't go back.

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MrsCzarCastic
04/21/16 8:08 pm

Yes. Exactly a year ago today my sister-in-law started an argument over something with my husband's business. She still isn't talking to us. It was so stupid and was very immature on her part.

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MrsCzarCastic
04/21/16 8:09 pm

I'm sorry to hear about being unfriended. I hope you guys can work it out.

musiman28 Cotton country
04/21/16 7:56 pm

I had a friend unfriend me because he and I got into an argument over the whole Bruce/Caitlin Jenner thing.

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leilu SoCal
04/21/16 7:48 pm

No. But I watched my mother and sister-in-law (brother's wife) relationship deteriorate. She blocked my mom and my mom jeeps.askig me about it. I try my best to stay away.feom that drama.

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voc I am...what I am
04/22/16 4:17 am

I've always tried too, but I just couldn't help myself

bethanyq Ess Eff
04/21/16 7:46 pm

I've also had a couple of unpleasant Facebook convos recently with my cousin (one of my bridesmaids), who is *aggressively and angrily* pro-Bernie. There really been a couple times I've had to stop myself from posting something I'd regret. Infuriating that I have to be the grown-up when she's making sweeping unfair generalizations about categories of people that include me. This election has been the worst.

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MrMilkdud
04/21/16 7:32 pm

Is a Facebook unfriending the same as him not being your friend in real life?
I hope you work it out.

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MrMilkdud
04/21/16 7:34 pm

And yes, I recently had a stupid issue come up with a friend that significantly damaged our friendship, and it hasn't been the same since.

voc I am...what I am
04/22/16 4:16 am

Yeah, he unfriended me in real life too

Kay41 the Midwest
04/21/16 7:30 pm

I'm sorry, voc.

I have had that happen and it doesn't feel good.

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bethanyq Ess Eff
04/21/16 7:29 pm

One of my college friends unfriended me because she thought I was a terrible person for posting a cracked article humorously pointing out various flaws of the founding fathers. I introduced her to her HUSBAND and that was enough for her to throw away the friendship. No real loss to me, I guess!

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jvc1133 61535
04/21/16 7:19 pm

In current times, I dread conversation in my own mind.

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kscott516 EB rules
04/21/16 7:05 pm

Facebook should be used to connect with friends and family, not to air your social justice beliefs. Those people just look like they have too much time on their hands and wouldn't care what other people think if they focused on real problems.

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voc I am...what I am
04/21/16 7:08 pm

That's what I use it for. You won't see my social, political, or religious views on there. I should have just kept my mouth shut when she did. That was stupid on my part.

susanr Colorado
04/21/16 9:20 pm

I try to stay out of much of anything political or religious on FB too.

voc I am...what I am
04/21/16 7:02 pm

He's my sons god father. He was just defending his wife. I'll be the first to admit the argument went a little far. People shouldn't be airing their beliefs on Facebook if they don't want people to disagree with them.

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bethanyq Ess Eff
04/21/16 7:42 pm

Sorry if this makes me an asshole, but "defending his wife" makes me *really* curious.

Seriously sorry though. There's nothing worse than fighting with someone you care about. Hopefully tomorrow cooler heads will prevail and you can reach out to him to make amends, or vice versa.

EarlyBird Portland
04/21/16 11:41 pm

What's wrong with "defending his wife"?

bethanyq Ess Eff
04/22/16 1:42 am

Didn't say anything was wrong with it; just that it made me curious, as in "from what?"

EarlyBird Portland
04/22/16 3:24 am

It's implied that he defended his wife's point of view.

voc I am...what I am
04/22/16 4:14 am

He was defending her honor. She's a cowboy or Scottydoesno type of person. She has even said liberals have mental issues. You can't reason with her. She thought I said she has a mental issue. I didn't directly, but maybe I turned her argument around on her. She was saying the entire lgbt community was mentally ill, I said people who can't accept people for who they are are mentally ill. I shouldn't have. He shot me a text chewing me out and told me we're through. I regret nothing that I said to her. She is an evil hateful person and I've never liked her. She's abusive to my friend. They've been married for 15 years and she's always been that way.

Think Lovin Life
04/22/16 6:39 am

Voc ... but let's get this straight ... you're suggesting that we should "accept people the way they are" and yet you're unwilling to accept this woman for the way she is?

Yep, that just about sizes up many in the LGBTQA crew, they want to be more equal, they want their ideas to be right and everyone else must be wrong. The LGBTQA crew's hatred for those who disagree is a thousand times more myopic and potent than Cowboy's!

voc I am...what I am
04/22/16 7:10 am

I'm not going to argue with anyone anymore. It just gets me in trouble. Sorry think. Not worth it. And sorry to cowboy too when he gets here

cowboy Here and There
04/22/16 7:17 am

He has to agree with his wife in order to get laid again. Men have to agree with their irrational and emotional wives or live in hell. No reason to apologize to me.

cowboy Here and There
04/22/16 7:19 am

It's good to find out who your friends really are. Trust me.

bethanyq Ess Eff
04/22/16 7:39 am

Voc, well done predicting the arrival of cowboy, right on cue with his misogynistic perspective.

So sorry about your fight. I absolutely relate to the frustration of dealing with people who start fighting dirty and then freak out when you demonstrate that their own arguments apply just as much to them. Sounds to me like you neither insulted her nor said anything unreasonable. Hopefully your friend will see that eventually. Good luck.

cowboy Here and There
04/22/16 7:41 am

You're man hating sexism is just as predictable, Beth. Lol.

bethanyq Ess Eff
04/22/16 7:43 am

What does the fact that my husband also hates sexism have to do with anything?

cowboy Here and There
04/22/16 7:44 am

Well of course that's what tells you, silly girl.

Think Lovin Life
04/22/16 7:50 am

Oops ... it appears that Beth is still afraid of open discussion ...

cowboy Here and There
04/22/16 7:52 am

She's used to bossing her husband around...

bethanyq Ess Eff
04/22/16 8:12 am

Man, I really threaten you, don't I?

S'ok, little guy. I never punch below my weight class.

(Wonder if he'll go for the easy juvenile remark about my weight now)

cowboy Here and There
04/22/16 8:21 am

I have no idea how much you weigh.

You don't threaten me one bit, sweetheart. It's your husband I feel sorry for.

bethanyq Ess Eff
04/22/16 8:34 am

See, cowboy, I never make deeply personal remarks about your relationship with your loved ones (in fact, in the past I have defended you when others did so). Yet here you are insinuating that I have an unhealthy relationship with my husband.

Do you think that's a kind or Christian way for you to behave? Do you think it's a rhetorically valid technique?

cowboy Here and There
04/22/16 8:36 am

What!? I believe you have a perfectly healthy relationship as long as your husband does what he's told.