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TopsQueen April 8th, 2016 7:09pm

When a death occurs some people feel it is not OK to cry around children. I think it's OK to let them know that grief hurts and that we cry when we're sad. What do you think?

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Jeninerd Hoth, AK
04/14/16 8:38 am

It's important to model healthy grieving for your children. Crying is absolutely a part of that. The only time it would be appropriate to shield emotions from your children is if you're engaging in an unhealthy behavior.

lcamino Florida and Georgia
04/10/16 2:45 pm

Yes, it is ok to let children see you grieve and cry when a loved one dies. It is an opportunity to talk and console one another.

ladyniner81 no hope for humanity
04/10/16 8:17 am

I remember when my grandmother died, I wondered why my dad didn't cry. It was his MOTHER for chrissakes. He must have when no one was around. Same with my grandfather

elianastar FreeSpeech
04/09/16 10:29 pm

When my father died I was 4 yo. No one cried in front of me. No one even spoke his name in my presence. It was a catastrophic error that screwed me up in too many ways to count. Ppl & animals die. It is an inescapable fact of life. Kids need to see ppl they care about dealing with that loss & have a model for processing that loss. Take every opportunity to let kids process loss in healthy ways... it is possible to over protect children from inescapable realities.

evoecon nearest binary system
04/09/16 5:30 pm

Totally agree with you. Children can get upset seeing adults crying, but they can learn from this.

04/08/16 9:51 pm

I think crying shows them how much we value people and their lives - that's important for them to see. It's important for them to understand emotion.

CDUBS Dallas, Tx
04/08/16 11:49 pm

Very true but it's also important to be supportive for them. Can't be a wreck the whole day.

04/09/16 7:24 am

Oh of course - if I ever saw my parents really in tears I'd be scared and just not know what to do probably. A little hard to find a middle ground if you're actually totally distraught as a parent, I'd imagine.

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
04/09/16 8:17 am

I think you could cry together. Hold each other and talk about the departed.

Rosebud Ohio
04/08/16 9:04 pm

Tears are ok. My GGpa passed this week. I t

Rosebud Ohio
04/08/16 9:05 pm

*I talked with Naiomi about it. She understands it's okay to be sad, and also that while you'll always miss the person that's gone you learn to live with it.

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
04/09/16 8:18 am

I'm sorry for your loss. That's a good way to discuss it.

04/08/16 8:14 pm

I think it's ok to cry in front of a child and let him/her know that he/she can grieve in his or her own way. Some people cry and some people don't. There's no right or wrong way to grieve. I was lucky enough not to lose anyone close to me until my Grandpa died last year, but I saw my parents lose people close to them. They never had any problems expressing sadness in front of me, which I think helped me express emotions as I grew up.

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
04/09/16 8:18 am

Excellent points

mim formerly 97123
04/08/16 6:49 pm

Growing up, all emotional expression was frowned upon. Pretty sure suppressing my feelings resulted in depression.

garrry Anchorite
04/08/16 4:54 pm

I ask them how they experienced it and ask them to be open and expressive but I want to teach them that death isn't tragic isn't scary it's just part of living life.

GrandmaALiCE Rocky Mtns aerial view
04/08/16 8:57 pm

Interesting! I do like the idea of learning to accept death as the natural end of life. We have a big problem with that concept, on modern society.

garrry Anchorite
04/08/16 9:59 pm

I just think that death as we know it is for the living. Death in reality is a very neutral act. Nothing was ever gained or lost to begin with and a person who dies cannot hate, fear, suffer or anything so it is absolute peace.

Doopy Remedial Americanism
04/08/16 4:29 pm

It's okay if it was Mufassa.

MediaBlackout Carry on, Carry on.
04/08/16 2:28 pm

You shouldn't show weakness to your child, makes then look up to you instead of looking at/down to you.

GrandmaALiCE Rocky Mtns aerial view
04/08/16 8:51 pm

Grief and tears are not signs of weakness.

ronderman North Carolina
04/08/16 1:18 pm

We teach them with all we do. If you grieve, the act them to do that as well.

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
04/08/16 1:14 pm

Not that one ever really heals from death. But I think tears are part of that process of becoming better. They cleanse.

04/08/16 12:56 pm

Modeling appropriate grief is important for kids. If they don't see us do it, they don't learn how to understand and express their feelings appropriately.

04/08/16 12:27 pm

It's not only OK, but I think it's how children begin to learn to handle their own emotions. Seeing adults, sad, angry, frustrated and seeing how they handle those emotions in healthy ways is important for children's emotional development. I'm a long-time teacher, and the a sense of this for a child is not good.

04/08/16 12:47 pm

Sorry. That was absence not a sense.

Kay41 the Midwest
04/08/16 12:55 pm

Very well said!

04/08/16 2:01 pm

I agree, it is well said.

04/08/16 12:17 pm

I think tears are okay. Children should know that emotions are normal and that adults too can be upset.

chickencookie Jihad Joe
04/08/16 12:15 pm

It's definitely okay especially when it's a close loving relative who has been important to the child.