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Praetorianus April 5th, 2016 5:56am

I occasionally hear people say committing suicide is selfish or cowardly. Is it?

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04/10/16 9:28 pm

One of the most cowardly things you can do.

Posco BBQ Enthusiast
04/08/16 4:55 pm

No, it's closer to the opposite in the mind of the person contemplating it (and intent is what truly matters here, your opinion of someone else's decision is completely irrelevant). They feel that they are a burden to everyone and everything around them and see suicide as the only option to relieve that burden (which is never true, there are always better options). For anyone who disagrees, I urge you to read some of the stories from those who have contemplated suicide to better understand their feelings and how it relates to the people around them.

Deedee2122 Texas
04/08/16 12:04 pm

I think it is very brave because they are actually standing up for themselves and doing what they want. People should get to choose if they stay on this world since they didn't get to choose to be put on it.

mfjd1948 rural johnson co iowa
04/08/16 6:50 am

No. It is a symptom of depression and depression is an illness. You don't blame a person for becoming sick or call them a coward.

merry13 Saved by Grace
04/07/16 1:28 pm

Yes but people in that situation aren't seeing it that way IMO.

Preox Earth
04/06/16 10:19 am

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

K4tn1ss Dont look in the closet
04/05/16 7:10 pm

Sometimes, it no longer matters. Sometimes is hurts to much.

K4tn1ss Dont look in the closet
04/05/16 7:08 pm

Sometimes you have something that you cannot get through and you have no family or friends to help you, so , what do you have to lose?

PresWK Minnesota
04/05/16 3:54 pm

No one is entitled to your existence except you

JHawk3205 MD
04/05/16 3:34 pm

Not inherently, but that's not to say it can't be. Death with dignity is a great example of suicide not being selfish or cowardly

arctostaphylos Ankh Morpork, New York
04/05/16 12:48 pm

No. It's typically just the final, fatal symptom of an illness.

garrry Anchorite
04/05/16 12:36 pm

It's selfish because it can only be for one person. Everyone dies alone. Its weak and cowardly because dying is the easiest thing to do. Any hardship is on self conviction. Is there anything wrong with any of that? No. Its just part of life.

garrry Anchorite
04/05/16 12:41 pm

Correction. Usually weak and cowardly. Sometimes it is not and requires great effort for a desired outcome and that is a symptom of life and great conviction.

garrry Anchorite
04/05/16 12:43 pm

I have to get off my phone soon so if I get a response back to you it will be later. But I will explain. But I warn you it's mostly not worth an explanation as its just a personal philosophy.

garrry Anchorite
04/05/16 5:11 pm

Death is just cashing out of life. Anything that was gained is now redistributed to the surviving anything lost is not easily reclaimed. Suicide is like taking money out of a retirement plan early because you got tired of paying into it.

garrry Anchorite
04/05/16 5:19 pm

You rob it of potential and essentially attempt to take it for yourself. But it's your life not a 401k. Its the individuals money though so it's up to them how they use it. Its too easy to take the money and run, but then what value does it have?

04/05/16 11:19 am

Suicide is selfish because it HURTS those who care about you.
It is cowardly because you want to kill yourself over taking responsibility for your actions in life. Who knows how much good you could have done to help the world if you were still alive.

LeftLibertarian The Age of Outrage
04/05/16 11:08 am

Regardless, it's a foolish way to express it. Strong feelings of guilt and worthlessness are a common symptom of depression, so that kind of attitude will only make things worse

Ellock Perpetually Tired
04/05/16 10:25 am

I would argue that it is selfish but not cowardly. Selfish because it passes that pain onto people you love so you can solve a problem. But not cowardly. I don't think it's a 'let me kill myself' and more of a 'I want this pain to finally stop' kind of mindset. But I could be wrong. It was the latter for me.

WorstGooEver Nuke the Hurricanes
04/05/16 10:18 am

This is tough. It's certainly not selfless and brave, but I would never use the words from the poll to describe someone who committed suicide.

GlockMan1 Alabama
04/05/16 9:35 am

We all have problems. Suicide is the easy way out.

thatguy2 We tried to warn you
04/05/16 9:25 am

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thatguy2 We tried to warn you
04/05/16 10:34 am

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thatguy2 We tried to warn you
04/05/16 10:42 am

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GlutenPutin The First Civilization
04/05/16 10:46 am

I agree with Chimama on this there is no selfishness in preventing suicide because it is never the answer to whatever the situation may be

04/06/16 10:20 am

I agree with thatguy.

When someone is in extreme emotional distress that they can't overcome or find a way out of, it is selfish of those around them to want them to continue to suffer, just so they don't have be distressed either.

LadyBug237 Florida
04/05/16 9:19 am

Yes and no. It's not that simple.

ndull Minnesota
04/05/16 7:16 am

I think people committing suicide because they are "down" is cowardly. It's a different story if they are terminally ill and in unbearable pain or as @political said about a soldier.

04/06/16 10:22 am

Feeling "down" and having depression with suicidal idealization are two entirely different things.

04/05/16 7:13 am

This is something that people who don't understand depression, have not experienced it or lack empathetic abilities say.
Obviously I do not condone it as good, but the person in not in sane mind when suicidal, you can't put labels of "selfishness" on someone who is not mentally stable. And suicidal people close to never really want to die, they just want to stop feeling the pain they feel and some go to extremes. A suicidal state doesn't last very long either so you will often notice that when a person is no longer suicidal at that moment, they will thinking poorly of that decision. There is a serious lack of understanding on the issue.

04/05/16 10:11 am

A mentally ill, suicidal person does not understand the effects of their suicide because they firmly believe that no one cares about them. You are not understanding what mental illness entails. I would recommend research if you so care to learn about the topic at all.

political Georgia
04/05/16 6:33 am

The only time I can think of a reasonable circumstance is if you are in the military, and you about to be capture. You know valid military Intel.

CDUBS Dallas, Tx
04/05/16 7:56 am

Have you ever served? I think you have watched to many spy thrillers. How about you fight to the death and take as many with you as possible. I would actually respect that more. Die a coward or a hero.

political Georgia
04/05/16 8:00 am

No - I have not, but I don't think this scenario is too far fetched.

04/05/16 10:13 am

How horrifying and detrimental to public understanding of suicide and depression to say yes.

political Georgia
04/05/16 12:08 pm

It's worse for those who are suicidal to sugarcoat the truth.

04/05/16 12:15 pm

It's not the truth though. It's incorrect to suggest that suicidal people don't care or think about others or are weak. You only harm suicidal individuals in suggesting that their struggles are character flaws. It is a desire to escape an unbearable pain. I prefer compassion and empathy and would encourage suicidal individuals to reach out for help.

04/05/16 12:17 pm

I have had an SO attempt to commit suicide. So yes, I am familiar with how depression affects the individual and what being suicidal is often a reflection of.

04/05/16 12:19 pm

I am very familiar, but again prefer compassion and understanding to false assumptions and shaming.

political Georgia
04/05/16 12:21 pm

It's inconsiderate to those who love you to take your own life. It's selfish to think that your feelings is more important than those who love you.

04/05/16 12:23 pm

It's simply not. I just remind myself that the suicidal individual is in much more pain than I as the loved one am. I have no right to tell them to just "snap out of it" or whatever for my sake. They need real help to get through their struggles, not misguided criticism.

political Georgia
04/05/16 12:26 pm

You act like suicide is helping the person...

04/05/16 12:31 pm

Not at all, I have at no point claimed that. While I certainly hope you never experience suicidal thoughts or have a suicidal loved one, experiencing these things have given me insight and understanding into the struggles of such individuals. It's simply not due to a lack of strong character. If someone does reach out to you, however, please redirect them to get help.

political Georgia
04/05/16 12:37 pm

Of course I will help them. I wouldn't want them to commit such a selfish act.

04/05/16 1:26 pm

How unfortunate. I hope they have a better support system, from compassionate and understanding individuals.

04/05/16 1:29 pm

Again, I hope depressed and suicidal people don't accidentally reach out to someone with such a horrific and misguided view. They deserve help and support.

Liberty 4,032,064
04/05/16 3:45 am

Not inherently, but it is often done for such reasons.

FacePalm That Trick Never Works
04/05/16 2:56 am

No. Unless a person has been suicidal, the ability to grasp what might be motivating another to suicide is limited.

The words "coward" and "selfish" reflect the feelings and judgements of those left behind. Anger, hurt, and helplessness make us lash out: at ourselves for not stopping it, at society for not stopping it, at them for going through with it.
It is a sad business, suicide.

jmw7477 Indiana
04/05/16 12:30 am

It can be, but most times it's not.

04/04/16 11:37 pm

No. For many it's seen as a way to eliminate seemingly inescapable pain and suffering. To suggest that being suicidal is a character failure is terrible and does nothing to improve the chances that someone will reach out in their time of need.

poetryk California
04/05/16 12:50 am

Great answer

MachoMatt84 Climbing Mountains
04/05/16 5:05 am

Short, simple, accurate.

04/05/16 7:15 am

Agree, it reinforces to depressed individuals who have once felt suicidal that they are cowardly and selfish...causing a deeper spiral of depression

04/04/16 11:19 pm

If anything (blaming and calling them cowards) adds more blame and guilt for feeling the way they do, compounding the feeling of stress and loneliness. Depression that manifests in suicidal ideations is something unique to each individual, and engulfs ones mind. It's akin to feeling you are in a burning building and your choices are to remain in the flames or jump to your death to be released from the pain. Suicide attempts most often occur spontaneously, not planned. It's in these moments of panic and desperation that it feels like the only way to be at peace. I wish everyone could overcome that feeling and escape suicide, but I do not wish to add blame or further guilt on those who have. I was not in their mind suffering as they did and have no judgment to offer in that respect, only sorrow that it came to that and they are gone. I disagree with shaming

04/06/16 12:48 am

So you shame everyone whose decision you deem bad? Whose metric is used to determine whether a decision is good or bad? If someone has a painful terminal illness and chooses to end their life to cease their suffering, is that a bad decision?

04/06/16 12:50 am

And do you think shaming someone is what will help them navigate through their current state of despair and grief about their position in life? Do you not see how adding shame onto all those other internalized negative feelings can just worsen someone's depressive state?

OhTheIrony Learning from you
04/04/16 10:59 pm

No, suicide can be selfish or cowardly in certain situations, but it is not always so.

Praetorianus In the uncanny valley
04/04/16 10:59 pm

I think with a few exceptions, suicide is neither. Those people are in desperate emotional turmoil, not trying to hurt others by this act. Also, it takes "courage", in a way, to follow through.

OhTheIrony Learning from you
04/04/16 11:02 pm

Okay, consider this.

You're on an island with one other person. You're out of food. You have two options. You can kill the other guy for food, or you can commit suicide so the other guy can eat you for food.

Which act is selfless? Which act is cowardly?
Suicide or murder?

Praetorianus In the uncanny valley
04/04/16 11:06 pm

Amazingly creative thinking outside the box 👍

Truconservative Jesus is conservative
04/04/16 11:08 pm

OhTheIrony, neither. Just keep trying to live, and if they both end up dying, thats ok. There is no excuse to kill someone or yourself

OhTheIrony Learning from you
04/04/16 11:11 pm

Then you both will starve. How is that a better outcome? If you let him eat you, at least he'll have a chance to survive longer.

Regardless, the point I'm trying to convey is that suicide in this case is neither cowardly nor selfish. I'm sure you agree.

Truconservative Jesus is conservative
04/04/16 11:20 pm

Starving is a better outcome then killing someone by choice

OhTheIrony Learning from you
04/04/16 11:23 pm

I agree. That's not what we're discussing.

Suicide is still better than starving in this hypothetical.

Praetorianus In the uncanny valley
04/04/16 11:24 pm

I'm totally pragmatic here. The outcome of this scenario is either both die from starvation, or at least one survives. It's still deplorable but I'd respect it if one of them sacrifices himself to save the other.

Truconservative Jesus is conservative
04/04/16 11:26 pm

I would say that IF you know for sure that one person can survive if the other dies, and thats the only chance, i would consider it positively

Praetorianus In the uncanny valley
04/04/16 11:29 pm

A bit of a personal question. You don't have to answer of course but since your reaction was so strong and immediate, including a second poll, have you lost a loved one to suicide?

Praetorianus In the uncanny valley
04/04/16 11:32 pm

So sad. I somehow thought so. It explains your reaction.

OhTheIrony Learning from you
04/04/16 11:34 pm

I lost a friend to suicide. It seemed cowardly to me. He wanted to escape his life. I don't think it was selfish, though.