Would you be open to having counseling sessions with a parent that you have a rocky relationship with?
No because they wouldn't think they needed help in the first place. They are so perfect and everyone else is screwed up.
If there was any chance it'd help, but I know my parents. I wouldn't be willing because it'd be wasted time.
Actually, when I was a teen my parents cut me off from my boyfriend and all friends. My mom wanted the school to change my class schedule even. The school thankfully didn't. She also forced me into counseling.... Which abruptly ended when the counselor told her there's nothing wrong with me, I needed friends to talk to, she wouldn't even try to get me to break up with my boyfriend, and it would be smart for my mom to come in herself.
To give some perspective.
I'd be open to anything that would help my relationship with my parents unless they were selfish assholes
I'm unable to answer. My parents were both excellent. I have no point of reference.
I have zero desire to do something like that. I'd rather work on any other relationship in my life, over the one I have with my mother. She's mentally ill, but it's more than that. She's always been a narcissistic jerk and that hasn't changed. I don't have the desire, time, or energy to deal with her.
Years ago, I invited my mom to participate in family therapy with my daughter. My mom was unwilling to accept any constructive input from the therapist. Probably the beginning of the unraveling of my relationship with her. Twenty years later and I accept there is no way of repairing things with that woman… nor do I have the energy or desire to even attempt it.
No. There's nothing that's going to change them.
Sure. Just don't expect it to fix the relationship. All it may offer is further insight into why it didn't work out in the first place. I think it's good for clarity and closure if you think those things are missing.
Yes, I've done that before. It worked with one but not the other yet and neither of my parents abused me. I wouldn't bother trying to work that particular issue out.
But I wouldn't be doing it with any expectation the other person would change becuz of it but becuz I might be able to change/improve my own expectations, behaviors, attitudes becuz of what the therapist may see & be able to help me work thru. The relationship could potentially improve becuz of the changes & perspectives I could implement by taking the chance. Even if it didn't, I still stand to gain in my *other* relationships so it's a win either way.
... and I would know I'd done everything I could do to be the kind of person I wanted to be. If that isn't the kind of person they want in their life, that's their loss.
If it were possible yes one parent doesn't have a mind the other one doesn't have a body.
Not worth it.
I would be open. But, I wouldn't expect much to change.
One rule I live by. If you have to tell people that you've changed, you didn't change.
Been there, done that...hundreds of hours. It was all bullshit. I sit in a room and tell a shrink how much they suck, the parents agree and promise to change. Then we all leave and act like we were never in that room. Nothing changes. Waste of time and money. Now they are well into their 70s sitting at home in their hoarders paradise wondering why none of their kids or grand kids visit. And I'm the bad guy.
That's my biggest fear. Looking back, do you regret trying?
My family is exceptionally dysfunctional...I left home as soon as I could. Do I regret making the effort? No, I had to try. But I wasn't going to keep wasting my time if they refused to change and compromise. In short, they are selfish. So when they come back to me now making their demands.....I have something to go back to. 'You were supposed to do xxx and yyy. I did my part, you did nothing. Have a nice life.' It finally got to the point where I said 'just because you are family doesn't give you the right to abuse and take advantage of my family and I.' And that was that.
Nope. It would probably result in one of us beating the crap out of each other and this time I would be old enough to fight back. It wouldn't be pretty.
Moms a crier. Dads a screamer.
And I'd probably need a Valium...or 10.
Maybe after weed is legalized in your area? 😖
Honestly, there isn't enough weed in the tri-state area to convince me to open that can of worms. 😆
Probably not. I'd be fine with just moving on until and if they come to their senses.
Is that your son? Lol.
My parents would never considered that request.
They have been away tor sometime.
I would have, but there was never any reason to do it. My parents did go with my brother, though.
What would be the point? To change her or me? That's not going to happen. To rehash old issues in hopes they'll somehow fade away if we just talk about it? LOL! That just opens old wounds so that they're fresh again. I forgave, but never forgot, and I don't dwell on the past. We aren't close, but we're okay.
Love your profile picture!
Absolutely, that family member is the reason I went to therapy in the first place!
Did you ever have a session with your parent?
I didn't. She knows I went to therapy but she doesn't know why. She just started seeing a therapist and I really really hope it helps her.
I wouldn't because she intimidated me.
I'm sorry. :(
I guess, but I always got along well with my parents so that's difficult to imagine.
That's great :)
At this stage of our lives, I wouldn't think either of us would change if we did.