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SticksandStones December 11th, 2015 8:01pm

Assume your parent is nearing the end of their life and "Death with Dignity" is legal. They live with you and feel like a burden, so they tell you they just want to end their life, but if you don't want them to, they won't. What do you choose?

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googer11 Minnesota
12/11/15 3:14 pm

My mom died in hospice 5 years ago. When she was still lucid she informed me of all her wishes. I was so appreciative. I took care of so many families during the end stage who never knew or asked what the patient wanted. Please ask! And tell your family what your own wishes are.

BamaGirl ROLL TIDE from Texas
12/11/15 2:41 pm

I am all for DNR's (do not resuscitate) or the newer term is AND (allow natural death), but not assisted suicide.

KAnne Atlantic City, NJ
12/11/15 2:11 pm

My mom would want to go peacefully. I know that. We've talked about it as each other's NOK - god forbid something happens. I would respect that as hard as it may be .

KAnne Atlantic City, NJ
12/11/15 2:12 pm

If she's not suffering at all, I would do everything in my power to show her she could never be a burden to me and continue to be her caretaker.

SkookumRoyce The Great Northwest
12/11/15 2:08 pm

My parents would never be an undue burden on me. They spend 18 years of their life looking after me, the least that I can do is to return the favor.

bluerum29 optimistic idealist
12/11/15 2:04 pm

My mom has said countless times "just shoot me if I ever get like that" in reference to her own patents and how they have aged

FATSHADOW Cyborg Gorilla
12/11/15 1:58 pm

They arent missing anything around here.

biker4life Texas
12/11/15 1:58 pm

It's their choice and I would honor their wishes.

SupremeDolphin They.them
12/11/15 1:51 pm

I would have them live, unless they actually were like a really big burden. But, my parents won't life with me.

tdyakker lost
12/11/15 1:23 pm

I tell them of course I don't want them to die and that they aren't a burden. I also tell them that I love them and only want them to do what they feel is right for them and that if they choose to stay around a bit longer I will do what I can to make their time as happy and as pain free as I possibly can. But I also don't want them to continue to live just for me. It is their live and they need to live it as they see fit. While I will miss them if they make that choice, I will stand beside them and be there till the end whether it's a day or ten yrs I will be there for them as they have been for me.

Ziggey Logic is good to have
12/11/15 2:03 pm

Perfectly said. I'm sure I was a burden to them at some point in my life.

inge MIA
12/11/15 1:16 pm

If my mom wants to die because she feels like a burden, hell no. If she wants to go because of pain or mental issues, I would try to respect her wishes.

Maj Worth Economist
12/11/15 1:14 pm

Feeling like a burden isn't good enough. That just means that she has nothing to do and is feeling purposeless. But I have something that I want my mom to do that she's usually too go-get-em to spend her time doing that would be a perfect sense of purpose: I want her to write a book of the parenting advice she gives. She's amazing and it would be even more important to get it done if she were dying. I don't care if she simply uses a voice recorder to get her thoughts out - my husband's a writer so he can do the physical writing if need be.

But no mother of mine is going to kick it because she *imagines* that she's burdening me. If she's gonna go, it's gonna be for a real reason.

Maj Worth Economist
12/11/15 1:15 pm

go, it's gonna be for a real reason.

12/11/15 1:13 pm

I believe that is their choice and I'd support them in any way possible. I would certainly tell them they are no burden as they wouldn't possibly ever be one.

Cole12 ...
12/11/15 1:08 pm

My father has already told me that he plans to commit suicide when he's older. He wants to die on his own terms, and I will support him completely.

golfer golfing
12/11/15 1:04 pm

I'm confused. Do they want to die because they feel like a burden or because they just want to die?

SticksandStones Stop fearmongering
12/11/15 1:42 pm

Well, both. They feel like they have no reason to stick around and they feel like a burden. The wonders of character limits strike again, I suppose. Basically, I'm trying to get rid of the suffering aspect often associated with death with dignity and see what people would do.

golfer golfing
12/11/15 2:01 pm

Feeling like a burden is a common feeling associated with suicidal ideation, and it should be addressed with therapy. For me at least, whether the person is close to death anyway is largely irrelevant to the issue. Good question.