M+F dating couples: expect the man to pay or go dutch?
man is the best example of creativity. no a fence to gurls. xbox gmertag Sharpe615
The proportion of "man" votes has me seething. Of course each party should pay for his/her own food or trade off (and take each other out for special occasions). Are we still that sexist of a society? *rage*
I basically always pay. doesn't feel right if my girl does. maybe if it's my birthday or something but I'm old school I guess. man pays, unless you just got laid off or something
I would switch off with my bf. I believe in equal rights. Which means both pay
If you know from past experience she considers you "just friends" you're a fool not to go Dutch, but until you're certain of the status of your relationship you had better pay unless you already have her convinced you're some kind of god -or- you don't care if she soon says let's just be friends.
@kandykane: I am curious how a guy would go about letting a lady know they have been dating long enough that she should start paying for some of it? How does that conversation go?
@smasgen: Well said.
So women just date men for the free meal? I just couldn't take advantage of someone like that.
Lol, how funny you have to disclose that you are inquiring about M or F. I wonder what Fags do????
If I asked the lady out, I expect to pay. If she offers to split the check, it is appreciated, but not expected.
I split dates with my hubby when we first dated because that is just how I am but he always offered to pay. I thought more of his ability to let me pay w/o acting weird about it. Told me that he is not threatened by my independence. I appreciate respect more than chivalry but having both is best.
I'm not even gonna go into how dumb the women bashing other women are. You wanna be liberated but put other women down. Seriously!!??
if the man doesn't pay for dinner the first few dates he'll never see that women again
@rosebai & all the other "kept" women. You seriously give women a bad rep. You want your cake w/ extra icing and to eat it too. Stay at home w/ the kids while your husband works all day and you get your "nap times" etc. Then to make him do his lil chores around the house after you make a 30 min meal
As a man, I like to make a nice gesture and pay for the meal. If it is expected by my date and perceived as disrespectful if I don't then it can't be recognized as a nice gesture. And why is it only the man that needs to show this respect?
But, if the girl is the one who asks the guy, then it would be rude to expect him to pay. I was only talking about instances where the man was the one who asked.
@Laura Inc: the man paying for the meal may not seem like it has anything to do with respect, but it is just one of the little things he does to show his respect and caring for the woman. For the first few dates, he should pay, and when you get to know each other better, u can pay, or split the bill
A good woman ALWAYS offers to pay, and has the money to put her money where her mouth is, need be, but a real man NEVER accepts.
I think that it shows chivalry to offer to pay the bill, but ideally we would both offer.
Best dates I had resulted in both parties wanting to pay the bill. If you are with a lovely person whose company you enjoy, it is a pleasure to puck up the check. If he or she does not want to pay, don't expect another date.
@veritas this is one ofvthe few times ive agreed with u well said!!!
@veritas Why cant a woman be chivalrous? Why can't a woman be respectful? I understand that you are coming from a sweet place but respect for women has nothing to do with who pays for a meal.
I've never met a women from Dutch land lol
veritas: well said.
Thank you veritas! I wonder, why do more men seem to get it than women? I'm honestly baffled by it. I understand if the woman makes more, asked him out, or it's a steady relationship. But a new one? The first few dates?
Women have jobs now, they can hold their weight.
I get. Equal rights for women. I understand. I do. But I believe in this case it has gone TOO FAR. What happened to chivalry? To respect? The man (myself included) should pay for the first couple of dates at least. It's not sexism. It's a common courtesy and a great tradition.
How old fashioned. Women are in the workplace now, we can pay our own way. Or split, one pays for dinner and the other pays for movies.
Thanks, opinions. You realize it doesn't have to be sexual? I mean, I'll gladly stay home until the kids start school. And if I'm the one dealing with pregnancy and childbirth, I'm not going to be doing everything. He can pay. He can buy groceries too- I'll cook them, I'll clean most of the time.
@ OpinionsRU. I agree. It would be ridiculous if a girl asked a boy out and then expects him to pay the bill
@rosebai that sounds a lot like prostitution.
Seriously, what a continuation of sexism. The man should expect to pay? Whoever asked the other out plans the evening and pays. If the other person wants to go out again they plan the evening and pay. There after both parties should offer to pay for their own.
Me and my BF always split the tab or one night he pays and one night I'll pay. NBD
On a first date, the man should pay, but if you're exclusive, go dutch
the person who asks should pay.
It depends on the intended relationship dynamic...If the expectation is an equal partnership, than it is whatever makes the mist since...whoever can afford it pays. If the expectation is that the man should lead, he should pony up.
Its tricky for guys, depending on their finances while dating, I think people should be open, understanding and communicate realistically about money early. Sure he may pay every time when dating but once you fall in love you realize he racked a couple grand in debt trying to impress you.
I am traditional. The woman's father should pay.
And to you men that said yes- thank you :) it's always refreshing to know chivalry still exists! A relationship is give and take. Provide for me in one way, I'll provide for you in another.
I'd like to know- are there any other ladies on here who prefer a more traditional outlook, and are annoyed by most of feminism?
I mean, I stay home and take care of the baby, clean and cook. (+ getting a degree) He helps on his days off, and once we have all kids in school I'll work again.
Big thing*. Bog thing sounds like a live in a lily pad and say ribbit
Nuts without making money!
@CC...I love that question. Please suggest that to Tony. I feel that ALL housework should be divided so there's more time for fun. This is a bog thing around our house. And I'm a woman and if it was up to me, my
Husband would stay home and I'd work. I hate being that dependent woman!!! I'd go
Of all the times I paid for a date's meal, not once did she clean my apt. I would happily make that trade! Is that what's being suggested?
Men can't have it both ways.
follow up question....how many people think the man should be responsible for 50% of household chores and responsibilities...cooking, cleaning etc. including staying home from work to provide 24 hr childcare?
I hardly ever pay but I usually leave the tip. Also I've been with my boyfriend for almost six years, over the time he's bought a lot of things so I will pay occasionally, although he doesn't mind paying.
Every woman here who says that men shouldnt have to pay would never continue dating you if you made them pay
I'm always prepared to pay, but if I have actually have to, then that's usually the last date. Incidentally, I don't have men beating down my door either. Hmmmmm