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Show Of Hands July 16th, 2011 12:00am

Do you think a man should ask her father's permission/blessing before proposing to his girlfriend? (UserQ)

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07/31/11 12:20 pm

My boyfriend will ask my Dad. We live together and have a baby but it's about respect and tradition. Like white wedding dresses or asking for "advice" on the car or something. I'm not anyones property but I know it'd tickle my Dad.
And we're getting married regardless.

catan New Jersey
07/27/11 11:12 am

Why the father. Why not the parents.

winter123 Oklahoma
07/26/11 8:38 pm

It's a pretty good idea to get to know the father first cause if he hates you it's probably not a good idea to ask him.


07/25/11 6:37 pm

yes it would be a nice gesture letting her father know his plans, but ultimately its not his decision. i guess it depends on the man and his morals

CaseyEE Atlanta
07/25/11 2:36 am

I think that is such a bizarre tradition. My husband is my best friend in the whole world! I would have married him wether my dad liked it or not. Of course my dad likes him so that would have never been a problem but if he didn't it only would have caused unnecessary tension.


07/24/11 10:59 pm

My husband asked my dad, but only as a gesture because I knew my dad would be tickled pink.

Perot4Prez
07/24/11 5:57 pm

Probably shouldn't ask a question to which you don't know the answer. If you aren't willing to end the relationship if the father declines, you probably shouldn't ask.


07/23/11 10:43 pm

I think it's a sweet gesture, but if it happened, it wouldn't be the fathers opinion that made the decision. Aside from that, it would have to be fitted to that particular girls situation. It's much more common now days for a woman's father to not factor into her life much.


07/22/11 4:06 pm

Of course NOT. What are we in the Dark Ages?

codycody82 Arizona
07/22/11 2:15 pm

I don't ask anyone for permission.


07/22/11 11:07 am

My grandma recently got remarried, and her husband asked my dads permission before asking her :) I thought it was so sweet 


07/21/11 1:39 am

they could still ask even if he says no but I think they should ask


07/20/11 7:53 pm

I think it's nice if they do that. It just shows that they have a respect for their opinion.


07/20/11 8:16 am

I don't care what they think. my penis my rules!


07/20/11 3:46 am

I answered yes, but ultimately it's not his decision. as an adult, we make our own choices, but it's sweet if that is the type of family you have. I'm an Alaskan!

tombo91 California
07/20/11 12:07 am

I think it's classy. even if the father isn't the type who particularly cares it's a very appreciated gesture. easy points with the father in law :)

Flooded Virginia
07/19/11 11:30 pm

I think it's more of a polite thing to do rather than a century ago where if the man didn't it might have been scandalous or whatever. yeah, the couple ultimately has the final decision. plus, it's a huge ego boost for the father to see a young man think highly of him and his daughter by asking 1st


07/19/11 11:04 pm

Wow! I'm so pleasantly surprised by these results! My husband asked permission. He even told my dad before hand that he wanted to date me. It's honoring to both the woman and her family.

BladeNut MA
07/19/11 8:38 pm

im 15 and persinally i think its courteous and help things along/remain happy

alaskan sleeping
07/19/11 5:58 pm

If I ever do. I would definitely ask for his blessing. I'm an old fashion guy. I'd like her parents to be. Well. I see it as respect.


07/19/11 12:52 pm

You should at least tell him so he is prepared when he hears his daughter is getting married

nutritionf California
07/19/11 12:10 pm

Nope, you are two grown people act like it. This isnt high School where you ask permission to take her to the movies.

moesif
07/19/11 3:06 am

Depends on the relationship between father and daughter first and foremost.


07/19/11 12:05 am

Depends if you think the dad will say yes or no! :p


07/18/11 11:14 pm

It's the right thing to do.


07/18/11 9:02 pm

absolutely a father right to be asked


07/18/11 8:58 pm

I think it is interesting that the results are overwhelmingly in support of chivalry but the comments are mostly against the gesture. My fiancé called my dad and asked his blessing and i know my dad was delighted. It is just a classy move. There aren't enough nice guys anymore.


07/18/11 6:51 pm

You all are waaaay too old fashioned. A grown man should NOT have to ask a grown woman's father if it's okay to marry his daughter. This is much silliness.


07/18/11 6:49 pm

I think people are misinterpreting the idea of the question. I think this is in a situation where both parties want to marry the question is should the father be asked for consent before proposal, not if the father should be asked about marriage whether or not the bride likes it or not.


07/18/11 6:22 pm

I'm so glad "no" is in the minority!! I don't feel like property at all. I think my husband cares about tradition and respect. You who think 2011 is all progress and no mistakes mankind is making scare me to death. Many values we are losing were good.


07/18/11 4:14 pm

I can't believe "no" is in the minority!


07/18/11 2:30 pm

I say yes. As a husband I asked my father in law and our relationship is stronger for it. As a Dad I hope my daughters boyfriend would ask me.


07/18/11 2:17 pm

I think he should ask HER permission before going behind her back and talking to her father about this before her! This isn't 1911, it's 2011! Geez!


07/18/11 1:29 pm

I say no because this is about the boyfriend/girlfriend not the father. Really respectable and nice gesture, but not really needed.


07/18/11 11:53 am

I said no. It's not necessary, but a sweet gesture

kmck96 On the track
07/18/11 6:40 am

As I understand, the question isn't about asking for permission so much as getting the father's opinion. It by no means implies that you are requesting to take something that's his, just that you are finding out if he approves. You could still go forward with it regardless of what he thinks, though.


07/18/11 4:11 am

A woman is not her fathers property. Shocking to me how many people vote 'yes.' My father has nothing to do with who I chose to get married to.


07/18/11 3:38 am

Even though we eloped I think the "correct" answer should be "yes." However, sometimes reality/circumstances may call for a different answer.


07/18/11 3:23 am

I dont mean they shouldent matter, that vame out the wrong way, i just dint think they should get in the way of love


07/18/11 3:20 am

If you truly love someone thier grumpy old father shouldent matter. No!!!


07/18/11 3:13 am

It would be interesting but I don't see our society going back to that. Personally I say no.

Lutang
07/18/11 2:03 am

You don't have to these days, but it is a nice thing to do and very respectful. Show the respect her dad deserves and just ask.

nutritionf California
07/18/11 2:01 am

You aren't taking the parents daughter away from them, and if you are close enough it shouldnt need to be a subject you actually talk about. And talking about it is a lot different for asking a hand in marriage.


07/18/11 1:29 am

I'm not saying they can't still get married, but I've found that the father's two cents worth is always worth paying some amount of attention to. With age comes a degree of wisdom, and maybe he's experienced things you haven't, but this is just my opinion. I'm not imposing this on anyone in anyway.


07/18/11 1:26 am

@higuys
People say the same thing about chivalry. Doesn't mean it's the correct thing to assume.


07/18/11 1:24 am

I believe asking is the respectable thing to do. I think people like to know what's going on with who, and the father is certainly no exception to knowing what is happening concerning someone he knows (and hopefully cares about).

emsies Seattle
07/18/11 12:39 am

@nutritionf: That's not what the question meant. It's not like asking for a cow (Fiddler... Haha!) anymore. It's not degrading to the woman. Talking to the parents before taking away their child is a respectful thing to do. When you're a father you'll understand.