Show of HandsShow of Hands

heyitskay August 11th, 2015 4:27am

I don't usually post polls like this but here it goes. I've known my boyfriend for a little over 6 years and tonight we broke up. How do you deal with tough breakups?

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MrLucchese If curious, ask.
08/12/15 5:11 pm

I'm sorry things turned out that way. 💙 If there's anything you'd like help with or to talk about, let me know.

dfish at home
08/12/15 12:40 pm

So sorry to hear that, I too just went through a break up. In times like these I become very logical in my thought processes. If I was meant to be with the person we would have worked through any issues and not broken up.

dfish at home
08/12/15 12:40 pm

Once I realize that, I can move on pretty fast. I'm not a lingerer

badgerben Las Vegas
08/11/15 9:05 pm

So sorry to hear. Anything your SOH friends can do then let us know.

missmorganmarie ...
08/11/15 8:13 pm

I allowed myself to cry myself to sleep for the first month after my breakup. I went out with friends and picked up a new hobby to distract myself so I wasn't sitting at home alone i ate a lot of ice cream and had a lot of wine. I couldn't have made

missmorganmarie ...
08/11/15 8:14 pm

it through without my best friends. sounds corny but time does heal. allow yourself to grieve though but focus on the future

xx116xx Christian. Unashamed.
08/11/15 4:04 pm

I wouldn't know, I've never dated anybody. I've decided to save that for later in my life.

donald59 Maricopa, AZ
08/11/15 12:33 pm

You cannot move into the future if your still dragging the past with you.

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EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
08/11/15 10:14 am

Probably a lot of staring and thinking.

Depends on who broke up with who really. ...and why. A lot of factors in how is deal with it.

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MrsCrayonWax
08/11/15 9:17 am

I'd agree with out of sight and out of mind and you have to just go through the motions. It sucks but as I told kenna, you will come out better after with a better knowledge of who you are. And the best is yet to come. 💜

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curtron basement of the Alamo
08/11/15 8:19 am

Out of sight, out of mind. It's not easy at first but it's better in the big picture.

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PB246 California
08/11/15 7:56 am

Take time for yourself and spoil yourself a little bit. Find a new hobby, spend time doing fun stuff with friends, take a trip somewhere, or just try something new.

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MarketSocialist
08/11/15 7:48 am

Generally, I like to perform a scientific study where I examine the effects of an entire bottle of high grade vodka on the human body. So far, I have not gotten alcohol poisoning. Lmao.

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donald59 Maricopa, AZ
08/11/15 7:36 am

Cry it out. Let the boohoo's flow. Talk endlessly with your friends about it and then find something new in life to concentrate on.

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chickencookie It really is
08/11/15 6:06 am

It takes courage to break up when the easy thing to do is stay in "the comfort zone" and "be happy". Your life the way you have known it for 6 years has changed so a piece of you is gone. To fill up the hole do not mope in your room and play

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chickencookie It really is
08/11/15 6:08 am

Depressing songs. GO OUT with friends. Jog. Put on your red lipstick and put a smile on. You have so much ahead of you and you are such a pretty girl. I promise you life does get better.

bubba2526 New Jersey
08/11/15 6:03 am

I can tell you what not to do from experience. Do not go out and get black out drunk and end up failing a semesters worth of classes. It's not the end of the world it hurts a lot but it will get better. It's better to allow yourself to feel it then

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bubba2526 New Jersey
08/11/15 6:05 am

To go out and be reckless. Surround yourself with friends right now you're gonna need them and try to stay busy doing constructive things. In time it won't hurt I can promise that. Just know you don't need that person and if you two didn't last then

bubba2526 New Jersey
08/11/15 6:07 am

You obviously deserve better and trust me you will find better out there. Try not to be sad this is a new beginning have fun and don't go looking for someone to fill your ex's spot that never works. You will know when something better comes along and

bubba2526 New Jersey
08/11/15 6:08 am

Eventually someone better will. Now sorry for the long ramblings but yeah hang in there! It's gets better and have fun with your friends!

phen nebraska
08/11/15 5:58 am

There are different aspects depending on the reason. Had a friend in college who went to strip clubs. Another who went boxing and working out. Easiest thing I can say is keep yourself busy. 6 yrs is a long time. You are single not dead, have fun

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RICK1626 Arkansas
08/11/15 5:55 am

I just try to make it through one day at a time. Very sorry to hear of your situation, and i hope it eventually proves to be just a step in life that is toward your perfect soulmate.

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orgblu10 Shamerica
08/11/15 5:29 am

Wow, that's terrible. I wish I had some wise advice to give. But since it's too soon to look at it with much perspective, at least make sure you talk to the people in your life who can help you with how you're feeling right now. They can add the

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orgblu10 Shamerica
08/11/15 5:33 am

longer-term view that you're unable to at this point. The good thing is that, by having been in a relationship for that long, you have proven that you have the qualities to make such a relationship work. What will happen is that eventually, an

orgblu10 Shamerica
08/11/15 5:36 am

even better guy will come around, and that's when the sadness of this will be swallowed up by a happy new reality. It will happen. But for now, use your friends/family to just help yourself be reassured and feel better.

voc I am...what I am
08/11/15 5:24 am

Wow. 6 years is a long time. I'm sorry to hear that. I have no advice for you, sorry. Keep your chin up. Sending virtual hugs.

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rlands
08/11/15 5:18 am

I'm really sorry Kay. It's been mentioned below, but for sure spend a lot of time with the other people you love in your life. Get together with your friends and your family. Surrounding yourself with that kind of comfort and love always helps :)

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TierasPet
08/11/15 4:14 am

I wait for time to pass and it gets easier.

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TheSpawn Penalty Box
08/11/15 4:14 am

Get together with your other loved ones. Laugh, cry & be mad but learn from it. I'm sure it sucks & hurts right now but everything happens for a reason. Life is all about lessons learned from our experiences & using that in the next stages. Good luck

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Isomax TIC TOC
08/11/15 1:49 am

Being together that long and then breaking up is tuff. But in the same breath, it has given you a long time to assess the +s and -s of the relationship. Life is all about hellos and goodbyes. Everyone goes through it and moves on.

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jmw7477 Indiana
08/11/15 1:33 am

I've never really had to deal with that. I started dating my husband when I was 15. My breakups before that weren't a big deal.

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johnieboy an unmarked explorer
08/11/15 1:10 am

While stated in an earlier pole that i give great advice...this is one if subjects i just can't. I'm horrible at dealing with and processing my emotions. All i can really say is i'm sorry about everything and keep your head up. It may not seem...

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johnieboy an unmarked explorer
08/11/15 1:14 am

Like it now. But it will get better. You seem like a smart girl and you're obviously very beautiful. It's his loss. If I learned anything from when my fiancé left me it's two basic rules. Don't listen to sad songs and stay away from the bottle.

heyitskay Boston
08/11/15 4:58 am

Thank you I will defiantly take that advice

ethanmay Oklahoma
08/11/15 1:09 am

I'm sorry, Kay. I dated a girl for 3 years, and when we split up I was pretty wrecked at first. Life didn't quite slow down to wait for me to get over it, which actually kind of helped. It helped me realize that, although it didn't feel like it, my

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ethanmay Oklahoma
08/11/15 1:12 am

life was much more than just about her. My joy and my happiness wasn't defined by her, she had only added to it in certain ways. I still missed her, and I was still sad about it...but my life wasn't defined by her. My life still went on without her.

ethanmay Oklahoma
08/11/15 1:16 am

Anyway, I hope that helps a bit. I'll be praying for you, and take comfort that it'll all be okay soon. Maybe not as soon as you'd like. But it'll be okay. You're the the best!

FacePalm That Trick Never Works
08/11/15 12:01 am

I don't have good advice 8) I have only this: it hurts. And it is going to hurt. Take the time to remember that you did not spend every waking second of every single day completely immersed in the relationship. You are still You. In time, you will

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FacePalm That Trick Never Works
08/11/15 12:05 am

forget the details of the way his eyes squinted or that annoying little thing he did. It will become a memory, incomplete and fading. And you will still be you: someone who will love and be loved, again.

mynamehere69 South Carolina
08/10/15 11:22 pm

Flush everything out, learn from your/his mistakes and move on. Make the next one even better.

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TheCameron UCF
08/10/15 10:22 pm

I suppress my emotions until I explode in a crying fit.

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SaintAnger sumkindamonster
08/10/15 10:18 pm

6 years? By golly that's gotta be tough. I'm terrible with advice, especially since I've only been in one relationship. So here's this. Just don't bother watching after the roughly one minute mark.

youtu.be/39DLJn2YbyA

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SaintAnger sumkindamonster
08/10/15 10:20 pm

Or the first 45 seconds.

SaintAnger sumkindamonster
08/10/15 10:20 pm

I'll clarify, after 45 seconds the message is gone, so everything after is just kinda lame outside of the context.

BamaGirl ROLL TIDE from Arizona
08/10/15 10:13 pm

I'm so sorry. It is tough. My best suggestion is to process all the emotions & try to find the silver lining or the thing that you learned from this relationship.

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bringstheeagle Colorado
08/10/15 10:00 pm

I am so sorry I hope things work out for the best.

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SticksandStones Stop fearmongering
08/10/15 9:53 pm

I'm so sorry! I can't offer advice, seeing as I've never been in a relationship, and I tend to get over people instantly, but I hope you are okay!

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heyitskay Boston
08/10/15 9:58 pm

Thank you!

WildRice With a side of sass
08/10/15 9:51 pm

I'm sorry for your heartache 😕 it's gonna suck. But, when my long relationship ended I took a good look at who I was without them. The day to day stuff feels like you're just floating through but you find distractions and it hurts less.

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WildRice With a side of sass
08/10/15 9:52 pm

Not so uplifting in the beginning but I promise it gets better. For me I just had to keep busy and forced myself to go out and do things when I felt like sitting at home feeling sad. Def take time to yourself but don't shut yourself in

heyitskay Boston
08/10/15 10:00 pm

Thank you! It's gonna hard do that. I just have to really keep myself busy so I don't think about it too much!

Whichendisup uniquely unoriginal
08/10/15 9:48 pm

Sorry you're going through this.

Each relationship was different. But usually I tried to keep what positive things I could and let the rest just be. I tried not to dwell on the break up, but rather the possibility of the future. Looking back never

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Whichendisup uniquely unoriginal
08/10/15 9:49 pm

Seemed like a productive thing to do if there wasn't a relationship to look to any longer.

Hope this weathers through as soon as possible.

kennabenena life is a blonde moment
08/10/15 9:47 pm

Well I just broke up with mine & I just cried & talked to people about it. Once I realized what the problems were & that breaking up was a good decision, I started to feel better. My mind has shifted to other things. Try to focus on something else.

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kennabenena life is a blonde moment
08/10/15 9:49 pm

Mine was only almost 4 months but it was still hard. I know how difficult things have been for me & I can only imagine how you feel. Everything will be ok. ❤️ If you want to talk to me, I'm here for you.

heyitskay Boston
08/10/15 10:01 pm

Thank you so much. I appreciate it

ovcourse Alzheimer Joe
08/10/15 9:46 pm

Somewhere down the line a very lucky guy will be thankful that HE was the one to land you. Hang in there.

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osouless Whats Next
08/10/15 9:40 pm

I'm so sorry kay. 😔 I don't know anything about break ups personally, but i've seen many close friends have to deal with it and this is the best piece of advice i can give. We're on this ball. And it's spinning. We don't really know why its

osouless Whats Next
08/10/15 9:43 pm

Spinning, but it is. Our spinning ball is spinning around a much larger spinning ball. Why? We don't know. And that giant spinning ball is spinning around a larger one and so on and so on. Always remember that there's so much more to this life

osouless Whats Next
08/10/15 9:45 pm

Than the daily grind. Remember that this ball will be spinning long after we're gone. Great men and women have died, and it's still spinning. Long after you've forgotten about what's his name, the ball will still be spinning. Keep things in

osouless Whats Next
08/10/15 9:47 pm

Perspective and nothing can stop you. You have a whole world filled with great guys that would consider themselves lucky to be with you. The ball will be spinning tomorrow morning, so nothing can happen today that will truly be the end of the world.

alynn Somewhere wonderful
08/10/15 9:37 pm

Aww no...I'm so sorry.😢 When I'm having a tough time, I give myself a bit of time to be really sad. Then I enlist my closest friends to distract me. Spend time with good friends and happy music. It was a long relationship though...it will take time.

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andrewmac Paris
08/10/15 9:30 pm

I'm sorry. I've never dated so I wouldn't know but I'll be praying for you

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andrewmac Paris
08/10/15 9:57 pm

No problem. As ovcourse said some day a guy is going to be so happy he found you. You're a really great person and someday you'll find him 😘

Praetorianus Fair enough.
08/10/15 9:29 pm

I don't know, I never had a breakup, instead, some relationships slowly fizzled.

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