Show of HandsShow of Hands

MackGray July 30th, 2015 9:18pm

Alright, I'm putting this to a poll. There is a woman at work who is constantly pushing way past my comfort zone. She's rubs my back, is constantly asking about my sex life etc. I have made it clear I'm uncomfortable. Do I take it to human resources?

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dale41 Grand Master of FIRSTS
07/31/15 7:07 pm

I am not a fan of the profile picture. Undisputed.

cathyro Long Beach,Ca
07/30/15 4:24 pm

Express to her clearly that you are not comfortable with her actions, if she continues go to HR!

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suppressedID keep Summer safe
07/30/15 4:04 pm

It'll be pursued because it's policy, but it won't be taken seriously.

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MackGray Jiving and Shucking
07/30/15 4:11 pm

Exactly my concern. It'll stop the uncomfortable work environment and make for a hostile work environment instead

rickvee Living the dream
07/30/15 2:49 pm

Are you in a relationship? If not, take her to bed. If she's ugly or fat, get drunk first and don't tell your friends.

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MackGray Jiving and Shucking
07/30/15 4:09 pm

Lol. Yes, I have a girlfriend. And I won't use the words fat and ugly to describe this woman, but yes, she is rotund and unattractive. There is zero interest in anything happening whether or not my friends know. 😝

rickvee Living the dream
07/30/15 4:11 pm

Does she know you have a girlfriend? Maybe you could tell her you're gay... Or just tell her straight up to knock the crap off.

MackGray Jiving and Shucking
07/30/15 4:14 pm

She is well aware I'm with someone. She's married for fucks sake. I've met her husband numerous times at work outings. He's a decent guy. She's scummy.

Ru12bseen Ignoring the Ignorant
07/30/15 4:27 pm

Okay. Okay. I'll tell my mom to leave you alone.

rickvee Living the dream
07/30/15 4:48 pm

Ouch... Sounds like it'll boil down to one of three options. Tell HR, tell her husband, or don't tell anyone and be miserable. 😕

TierasPet
07/30/15 2:43 pm

I'd take that one up the chain if I were you. That is completely unacceptable behavior.

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MackGray Jiving and Shucking
07/30/15 4:07 pm

I guess I'll do as others have suggested and start documenting the instances. All the while making my discomfort known to this woman. At least I'll have specific instances and dates/times to solidify my case if it needs to go higher up

TierasPet
07/30/15 4:10 pm

Yes, that's what you need and I'm sorry you're going through this. It's very uncomfortable and degrading, at least that's how I felt.

Ru12bseen Ignoring the Ignorant
07/30/15 4:28 pm

Do you guys use email a lot at work?

MackGray Jiving and Shucking
07/30/15 4:34 pm

I email a lot at work. What correlation are you suggesting?

Ru12bseen Ignoring the Ignorant
07/30/15 4:41 pm

I'd send her an email asking her to stop touching. Word it in a friendly way and get her response. That's the beginning. Depending on how she responds, your next email will be BCC to HR

MackGray Jiving and Shucking
07/30/15 4:45 pm

That's a good idea. Thank you. I appreciate that

Wino I need a drink
07/30/15 2:39 pm

Document it so you have something to bring to HR. Don't feel weird about it, it's not appropriate for a work environment. Even if you liked it and liked her, it would still be inappropriate for the workplace.

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MackGray Jiving and Shucking
07/30/15 2:20 pm

I just feel as a man making accusations against a woman, it won't be taken seriously. I have all but yelled at her. I make it clear I'm in a happy relationship. I don't partake in her sexual conversations. I keep it moving, but this has got to stop

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mellovesyou lost in translation
07/30/15 2:24 pm

Sounds like an unstable person! Something definitely needs to be done. Has anyone else witnessed these interactions?

EarlyBird Portland
07/30/15 2:26 pm

I now why you're uncomfortable with taking it to Human Resources but you have to. You've asked her to stop and she hasn't. If she isn't stopped now, it will continue not only with you but others in the future.

EarlyBird Portland
07/30/15 2:28 pm

AJL- one more thing, document, document, document. Every time she does something that makes you uncomfortable, write it down along with the date and time.

MackGray Jiving and Shucking
07/30/15 2:30 pm

Yes. There's a secretary who has witnessed this and has been persuading me to take it to management. I'm not trying to get her fired. I just want it to stop. Furthermore this woman is married.

MackGray Jiving and Shucking
07/30/15 2:33 pm

Earlybird- that's a good idea. I'll start a log. Thank you