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Show Of Hands December 26th, 2011 12:00am

Living together before marriage: good idea?

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01/08/12 4:09 pm

Bad idea! Marriage before loving together, definitely!!!

01/06/12 7:06 pm

@muskie57 congratulations with such a long marriage! I hope I will marry soon

NYevo NY
01/03/12 5:41 pm

Thats awesome! I can only hope to be as fortunate

01/03/12 1:57 pm

married at 19 and still married after 52yrs

01/03/12 1:48 pm

Living separately after the wedding... THAT is the key to a happy marriage.

Moosey2 Texas
01/02/12 10:18 pm

I live with my current boyfriend now. we dated for a year and a half before moving in together, and it's been great. both of our parents married before living together, and both sets divorced. we want to be sure of our compatibility.

Moosey2 Texas
01/02/12 10:16 pm

I lived with my ex, and I'm glad I did. otherwise I would have not known how abusive and scary he really was behind closed doors.

Moosey2 Texas
01/02/12 10:13 pm

I forgot to elaborate on the fact that young people taking longer to get married is leading to wiser decisions, largely because they are focusing on their careers first and they are more stable when it comes time to get married.

Moosey2 Texas
01/02/12 10:12 pm

older studies show it's a bad idea. newer studies show opposite trends surfacing. young people are taking longer to get married, on the whole. personally I think it's a good way to ensure compatibility before committing and having to divorce later.

bumkillah California
01/02/12 12:05 am

Nope not me marriage is for the birds ????????????

NYevo NY
01/01/12 10:22 am

I would love to see a study which tracks the political leanings of people who have been divorced. The only related study i've seen compares the divorce rates by states. I think conservatives would be shocked by the findings

NYevo NY
12/31/11 11:35 pm

@blurry: i'd live to know what study you are referring to. I lived with the woman i married so my experience tells me that it wasn't harmful

12/31/11 4:38 pm

Trust me - divorce is NEVER painless. Nobody gets married expecting or desiring that marriage to fail (except maybe a Kardashian). I think it is fair to say that everyone wants to find forever.

pinkyusuck The Carribean. I wish.
12/31/11 9:11 am

It gives people an easy-out to avoid commitment. Bad idea. It's already hard enough to get people to keep their word.

12/29/11 6:08 pm

By waiting to live with another person or become too physically involved then the whole point of marriage is useless, after all now a days you can get a divorce as painlessly as breaking up with someone

12/29/11 2:53 pm

14573, why does one need to preview married life? Why not take time to make the important decision, and then afford it the reverence and respect that it should have? People are much too cavalier about relationships and marriage these days.

12/29/11 2:14 pm

people love to cite studies and numbers without really thinking about what those numbers might actually mean...

mme Iowa
12/29/11 11:13 am

I would not be married had we lived together before we got married.

12/28/11 10:22 pm

There are studies that prove this doesn't work.

14573 Scary Numbers
12/28/11 8:22 pm

Its a good way to kind of preview married life

12/28/11 7:36 pm

NYevo. studies prove the opposite of your hypothesis!

12/28/11 5:44 pm

for all you who said no, keep it up. you are awesome!

12/28/11 4:46 pm

If you can't live together, than how can you expect to get married?

12/28/11 1:24 pm

I was lucky to find someone like me someone who has no desire to be married we've been together 5 yrs have two kids and we r just fine. And when people give us a hard time we kindly ask then to mind their business.

RogueMom In a Hand Basket
12/28/11 11:01 am

*wielding not welling (ugh, auto correct)

RogueMom In a Hand Basket
12/28/11 11:01 am

These "quirks" people want to know about each other... is it whether they leave the Toilet Seat up or is it if they are millions in debt? Surely you don't have to be living under their nose to figure out if your partner is an axe welling kitten killer.

RogueMom In a Hand Basket
12/28/11 11:00 am

Modern dating requires too many games. If two people are aiming to find out if they are a compatible couple then they don't have to move in together to discover that.

cowboy Dawns Highway
12/28/11 7:59 am

Marx's plan of completely dismantling the family unit is about complete.

cowboy Dawns Highway
12/28/11 7:57 am

Yes. The days of courting a girl in America is dead. If you can get a girl to move in with you, why even bother getting married?

NYevo NY
12/27/11 6:09 pm

I think the more you truly know someone prior to marriage, the more likely it is that the marriage will last. And conversely, the less fully you truly know someone prior to marriage, the less likely it will last. Therefore, how can living with someone prior be a bad thing?

12/27/11 5:32 pm

If you have to marry your partner in order to feel like it will last, well, that's probably not a very good thing, is it? Word to the wise though, sociology studies show that you should wait a year before getting married, and if straight couples are not married by 3-4 the rate of break up is high.

12/27/11 5:30 pm

I live with my partner and we are very happy :) We have our whole lives to get married and we know we love each other deeply. There is no rush, we consider ourselves married without the vows. We have a long, beautiful life ahead of us and marriage wouldn't change that.

12/27/11 5:28 pm

Mystery: just because co-hab couples have higher rates of spousal abuse (so you claim without a source, anyway) does NOT mean the co-hab CAUSED the spousal abuse. More likely, spouses who abuse are more likely not to marry.

12/27/11 2:04 pm

Oh gosh no, cohabiting couples are more likely to become involved in intimate partner abuse; cohabs will also most likely result in NOT getting married, which is the trend of today (more ppl not getting married)

12/27/11 11:40 am

That' silly, try it out and bail if "living habits" need adjustment? If the relationship is that tenuous and disposable, just move on!

12/27/11 10:24 am

I think it is fine because the. You can get used to each others living habits and adjust accordingly

12/27/11 7:40 am

As long as its not after being together for a short amount of time. I don't see anything wrong with moving in with your partner after a year or so. Its better to find out their habits before getting married. Less surprises.

12/27/11 6:54 am

When you're just living together you always know in the back of your mind that you can just walk away from your partner if you hit a slump, or have kids, or they get sick, etc.
If you ever do get married that attitude carries into the marriage and divorce is more likely.

bbkkanders Kentucky
12/27/11 6:45 am

if you do, why get married. at that point all your doing is spending a lot of money and then going on vacation. the girls think its great the guys want sex. grow up people and do the RIGHT thing once in your life.

12/27/11 1:38 am

My psychology class said although it sounds like a good plan, people who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced, and considering the divorce rate is 50%, I don't think it's worth it!

12/27/11 12:24 am

Excellent idea! If you aren't sexually compatible odds are excellent you'll have a terrible marriage. If one of you is too quirky (taps feet while eating, leaves the toilet seat up after urinating, refuses to allow sleeping commando, etc etc) you'll be so grateful if you can find out in advance.

12/26/11 10:11 pm

(p.s: lol@people who answer yes ;) gotta luv the adults with child brains!)

12/26/11 10:11 pm

One name says it all: Dr. Laura