Show of HandsShow of Hands

JustBob October 30th, 2014 1:15pm

Your sister and her 3 young kids were killed by a drunk driver. At the hospital you're there with her husband as he tells the driver, calm as hell "I forgive you." Are you angry with your Brother-in-law's reaction?

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Joshie New York City
11/01/14 6:54 pm

I would probably not talk to the BIL for a couple of years and eventually forgive him for being forgiving also I would be in jail for murdering the drunk driver

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dxstap Bloomington, Indiana
10/31/14 5:16 am

No, not angry.
Maybe I could forgive at some point but not that soon.
It's more likely that I would find a way to terminate the drunk driver's ability to breathe.

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F1Dan Parked in your spot
10/31/14 1:06 am

In that case, forgiveness isn't for the drunk driver, its for the brother, so let him be.

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l1f2
10/30/14 10:13 pm

No not really. I've made it a bad habit of not taking deaths personally. I don't really care to forgive such a person but I do believe forgiveness is a very personal and individual thing to bestow.

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jamichl Seattle
10/30/14 8:57 pm

Whatever it takes for the BIL and family to heal and move on. I'm much interested in the driver though.

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jamichl Seattle
10/30/14 8:58 pm

Make that NOT much interested in the driver.

ladyniner81 I need chocolate
10/30/14 8:46 pm

I know two people who were killed by a drunk driver. I'd be furious, I'd probably cuss him out, asking him what is WRONG with you? I'd scream holy hell at the guy. I can't comprehend how someone can forgive something like that.

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GubraLagima Tramp 2016
10/30/14 7:58 pm

His reaction would make me angry at myself for being angry at the driver.

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grizzy Kansas
10/30/14 6:51 pm

I cannot imagine forgiving someone who's dumbass decision that ended up killing my loved ones. I would be very upset.

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alynn Somewhere wonderful
10/30/14 6:16 pm

My sister was killed by a drunk driver (before I was born), and I have never once heard anger or bitterness in my parents or siblings. Forgiveness is as much for the forgiver as it is for the forgiven. It helps the grieving process.

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marie333
10/30/14 6:01 pm

In theory I'd understand, but in the moment I'd be so pissed.

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suppressedID suck it Kyle
10/30/14 5:58 pm

He paid off the driver: it was a hit.

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BetweenRivers
10/30/14 5:16 pm

Despite the fact that that's admirable, I'd be furious initially, without reasonable cause. It's how I grieve initially. I would later find it admirable and become angry with myself for being angry with him.

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MackGray Jiving and Shucking
10/30/14 4:14 pm

Not mad at all. It's not my place to judge another mans way of dealing with his grief. I certainly would not be at the point of forgiveness that soon, but it's the brother-in-laws decision how he deals with the situation

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NikkiKitti47
10/30/14 3:48 pm

I would be it takes me time to forgive. I lost my best friend in a drunk driving accident. I forgave the drunk driver because they also lost their life as well.

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SlyEagle Lubbock, TX
10/30/14 2:58 pm

I wouldn't be angry, but I couldn't forgive him that quickly.

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gjb2779
10/30/14 2:40 pm

You can't be upset at how someone grieves over loss. If he is able to forgive the driver I actually find that admirable.

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jvc1133 61535
10/30/14 2:24 pm

I'm okay we're going out for a beer

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Kay41 the Midwest
10/30/14 2:05 pm

No. Forgiving someone doesn't condone the behavior or mean no punishment is necessary.

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Daniel17LU Virginia
10/30/14 1:31 pm

I would be, just because of the shock of it. I would admire him for being much more level-headed than me.

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blossoming new beginnings
10/30/14 1:29 pm

I would begin working on forgiveness myself.

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GrandmaALiCE Rocky Mtns aerial view
10/30/14 1:13 pm

I would think he is crazy. I might think he is not thinking clearly, because of his grief. I don't think I would be angry at him, though. It's honestly hard to know how you would feel, until it happens.

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dontberude San Diego, CA
10/30/14 11:55 am

I wouldn't be angry by what he said, I'd be angry that he didn't talk to me before he said that (in front of me). If he told me beforehand I'd be understanding.

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Penn555 Maine
10/30/14 11:45 am

I might react with anger just out of the shock of it, but after taking some time to think about it, I'd admire him for it. Also - how did you know I have a sister with 3 hound kids? lol

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rbrown Kansas
10/30/14 11:43 am

No, I'd be in awe of him.

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Dazey Beagles Rule
10/30/14 11:30 am

I would be impressed and proud of him

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TheCameron UCF
10/30/14 11:16 am

If I were the husband I would be mad.

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TheCameron UCF
10/30/14 11:18 am

Like if the brother was the one forgiving and I'm the husband, I'd be mad at the brother.

Zod Above Pugetropolis
10/30/14 10:47 am

His reaction is his to have. It isn't my place to be angry or to criticize. Not that it's a contest, but his loss is far greater than mine. I'd be there to support him as best I could.

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TopsQueen Oregon Coast
10/30/14 10:41 am

No I would be so very proud of him. Also I think I would attribute some of it to shock.

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mrdudemanpants
10/30/14 10:33 am

I'm startled, confused, and very pleased.

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singkitty In the cloud
10/30/14 10:29 am

Not angry with my brother in law, but most likely still furious at the idiot who killed my sister.

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NoRelation Arizona
10/30/14 10:18 am

Forgiveness is important but yes, I'd be angry it happened so soon. Maybe down the road, it would have been better.

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GlockMan1 Alabama
10/30/14 9:09 am

The brother in law can forgive him personally but THE LAW is still applicable and he must still pay the consequences to society for his bad decision.

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krayzewolf New Hampshire
10/30/14 9:01 am

I would. And there'd be no forgiveness for the driver from me either. In fact I'd probably get myself arrested if I ever saw the driver again.

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MrMilkdud
10/30/14 8:29 am

No, that wouldn't bother me at all.

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MrMilkdud
10/30/14 8:30 am

He's probably in shock, though. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a different perspective by the time he gets home.

EarlyBird Portland
10/30/14 8:07 am

Yes, I would be angry.

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TierasPet
10/30/14 8:03 am

No, that's his choice and if it helps him get through, all the better for him. That wouldn't be my reaction but he may be the one who's better off.

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LeDerpityDerp We are not our failures
10/30/14 7:50 am

No, I think it's almost a mandatory process for him to move on completely. Now.. Of course I may be a bit shocked but it's his choice.

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Rob Be Safe Be Smart
10/30/14 7:02 am

I tried to say I wouldn't be upset with his forgiveness, but the truth is, I think I would be.

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sojourner present
10/30/14 7:18 am

I said no also, but I'm really not sure. I don't think I could forgive that quickly, but how can I be upset with him for how he is immediately processing such a horrific tragedy. If I'm mad at him, I'd say my outrage is misplaced.

zack1018 Ich will nach Stuttgart
10/30/14 6:55 am

It's hard to say how I would react after that kind of trauma, but right now I would respect him immensely. He would most certainly be crushed by the loss of his wife, it would take a lot of kindness and self control to move past that anger.

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chancesmi D.C.
10/30/14 6:49 am

I'd be utterly furious with him. I don't particularly care who you are...if you kill my sister and her three kids because you couldn't use common sense, I would be extremely unhappy with you to say the least.

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chancesmi D.C.
10/30/14 6:49 am

I would expect at least similar emotions from my dead sister's husband and father of her three dead children. If someone says they forgive someone for that, they're kidding themselves.

JustBob Your anger fascinates me
10/30/14 7:12 am

I would love to be the person that could forgive (because it's the better way to be) but I think I'm with you. There is a huge part of me that would beat his ass with his own iv pole then start beating my brother in law with it.

BeachSt Coastal Virginia
10/30/14 6:42 am

I would respect my brother in law even more. I would come around to the same feeling, but it would probably not be as soon as the hospital.

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Diogenes FreeMeBe
10/30/14 6:38 am

Now the sarcastic one:
Heck no! My Bro-in-law got a huge policy on them and was in the process of divorcing my Sister because she's been a royal pain all her life and he secretly discovered the kid wasn't his. :0)

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political Georgia
10/30/14 6:35 am

I answered no, but I would probably be mad. Lol

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Diogenes FreeMeBe
10/30/14 6:34 am

Not at all. It takes more power to forgive and our fates are not decided by us. I would think this approach might have an even more positive effect on the survivor.

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Nemacyst No Lives Matter
10/30/14 6:30 am

This user is currently being ignored

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WildRice With a side of sass
10/30/14 7:38 am

Hahaha! The trick would be getting to him before I did...

dawl adulting
10/30/14 6:23 am

I wouldn't be angry but I'd be dumbfounded. I would eventually get to forgiveness after the grieving process, no way I could just fast forward to it. Good for him.

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WildRice With a side of sass
10/30/14 6:20 am

No. Forgiveness is for that person and their well being. It may also be part of his grieving process. I would commend him for being a much better person than I as I would eventually forgive but sure as hell wouldn't that quickly

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WildRice With a side of sass
10/30/14 6:21 am

Also, I'm not sure I'd believe him. (You don't know my BIL)

firefly5 the verse
10/30/14 6:24 am

if my sister managed to have three kids without eating them, that'd be a bigger miracle than forgiveness.

commonman1 Peace
10/30/14 7:44 pm

There can be no forgiveness. The people that were killed are the ones that have to forgive. Since they're dead they can't forgive.