What is the correct title (when a title is needed) for a adult married female?
Why do you need to discern whether you are married or not? Men don't change their title when they get married. I use Ms.
Only exception is for a formal invitation to a married couple: "Mr. and Mrs. Bob and Dorothy Smith"
I never address a woman Mrs. Bob Smith. That's weird.
In England we were taught that Miss=unmarried
I grew up in the UK & this is what we were taught in English lessons at school.
I also grew up in the UK and we were never taught that in school. It is a common assumption though.
This is the way I was taught it in school.
I like mrs. I was always called miss/ms before being married
The correct title is the one preferred by the woman. I default to Mrs. on the information given. But that is more a reflection on my age and upbringing than any notion of correctness.
I used to call women "ms" back in my social work days, but I was corrected so often, and with such strong feelings that it became pretty clear to me that the militant "ms" contingent is in the minority. Now I say "mrs" and have never been corrected.
Wait- I was corrected once by a real estate agent when we interviewed her. I'd be lying if I said her correcting our (my wife and my) polite use of Mrs within the first minute of meeting her didn't contribute to our not hiring her.
Whatever she prefers, but "Ms." is the appropriate default, regardless of marital status, in a professional context.
I would say that depends on the cultural norms of wherever you are. In a more conservative area, "Ms." is likely to be frowned upon by men and women alike.
I'm talking in a professional context. I am assuming professionals work with people from all over the country and from different countries. It is considered the more professional term, because a woman's marital status is not only irrelevant in a
professional context, but is in fact protected from disclosure or discrimination in employment contexts.
I've never liked the fact that women's titles are based on their marital status. It's too many titles. Why can't it just be Ms and Mr?
It's interesting that a women's title changes with marriage and a man's doesn't!
How else are we supposed to keep track? Pee on their legs?
Totally agree. This is one of the yuckier vestiges of old-fashioned sexism.
Sigh. Everything's sexist if you look at it a certain way.
Mostly correct, Reeze. Realizing that is the first step!
Umm… is it 2014 or 1944?
It's mrs. If you're not sure of their marital status, it's miss.
it's miss if they are not married, mrs if they married and ms if you don't know.
It's either one.
Even "miss" if the woman prefers. It's all the same title.
I'm a Mrs. and proud of it. Women's liberation has gone too far and I'm tired of all the PC BS.
Or why are we letting the things liberated women have gained slip away?
I am not sure how this became a referendum on Feminism, but I certainly would not call you by a title you did not prefer madeit :). And I would defy anyone who insisted you must go by Ms., just as I stand up with SmileyMom's right to use Ms.
Madeit, I'm married and I strongly prefer Ms. No one here is saying you shouldn't be called how you prefer. But it's rude to suggest that I've somehow gone "too far" simply because I have a different preference than you do. We're all individuals.
I meant that in general, not specifically Ms. vs. Mrs.
I've always said Ms.
In school, they taught us that Miss is a young female, Mrs. is a married female, and Ms. is an older, unmarried female. I prefer Mrs. because I'm married, love my husband & our marriage and want people to know it. I did have a teacher one time say...
...that Ms. was only for divorced or widowed females.
That's my understanding of it as well.
Miss Hitchings, a professorial lady, if any ever existed, would disagree. Ms. was introduced to avoid the need to associate a respectful female title with her marriage status.
Either is fine. Personally I like Mrs. I love people knowing I am married and Ms. feels too stiff for me. Totally personal choice though.
Either is correct. And it's common courtesy to refer to her by the title she chooses, and no title at all if that is her preference.
Both are acceptable though Mrs. was the original title and Ms. came later. Whether I'm married or not, my personal preference has always been Ms.
Mrs. remains the correct title, but some reject it for psychological reasons (often a subconscious resentment of males). Others reject it for PC reasons. For the equivalence crowd, I recommend we adopt "M." for "Master" for unmarried males.
So, you have a problem with married women (and unmarried women for that matter) choosing to identify themselves using Ms.? Why do you care to judge how anyone who is not you, chooses to title her or him-self?
I am proudly Master Hammer.
However, MISS Hitchings, taught that Master was the title of a young male, and not ever related to marriage status. Hence an adult make was always a Mr.
Alfred would disagree, Hammer.
Problem is if anyone signed their name as M. Anything I would assume they want me to call them "Monsieur".
No tlaney is a mind reader. That's how he can tell that women who use the title Ms. have a subconscious penis envy. He can look into their minds to see what even she cannot know about herself!
JJJ, I agree that's the flaw in my idea. But do you have an alternative? I just couldn't come up with one. :o)
Face, as a retired English teacher, I continue to be a defender of the language. And as a retired Speech teacher, I continue to be a defender of clear and correct communication.
JJJ-I credited a source, Miss Hitchings. No other claim was made to accuracy or authority.
TLaney- in your honor I am given to speaking with two chocolate truffles in my mouth to improve enunciation, elocution and the joy of speech.
Well if you're trying for gender equality, you could go with Mr. for Master and Msr. for Mister.
HM - are they Lindor Truffles? I can't be bought with cash, but I can definitely be bought for chocolate truffles. I will hit the floor, roll over, and let you scratch my belly for truffles! :oP
tlaney - as a grandchild of an English teacher and an avid reader, I too am very sensitive to the use of language and clear communication. Defending gender/relationship specific titles however, is more akin to protecting "traditional" social norms.
Oh, and I wouldn't recommend begging for a potentially pre-chewed truffle. :)
Have you ever tried on of those French chocolate truffles Trader Joes carries?
No Trader Joe's in West Texas. :-(
Clearing throat in authoritative fashion- Aheeem- if the truffle carries a brand name or is commercially packaged it is already too stale for the refined palate. Roll back over T
* Rolling on the floor drooling!
You HAD to bring up chocolate, didn't you, Ham? I'll get even: B A C O N
Technically it's "Mrs." but my belief is that the correct form is whatever the woman prefers. Technically I am still a "Miss" because I am unmarried, but when I reached the age of 30 I started going by "Ms." in school because "Miss" seemed too young.
I have very strong feelings that Ms. is the correct answer. I have been married for over 35 years and have never written my name or referred to myself as Mrs and never plan to. Why does a title need to say I am married when the mans doesn't?
I grew up and got married in the 70s. Woman's liberation is a biggy for me.
I was thinking that either is correct, and that it's a preference thing.
only seems right.