Is it rude to ask someone's sexual orientation?
it depends on why you want to know I think, if you are genuinely curious I don't see why it would be
I don't see why it would be rude, as long as it's not asked in an evil way. It's like asking what your race is. It doesnt matter, but it's not rude. They're just curious.
I think asking about race implies that not only is it an important part of your identity as viewed by others, but that they must fit into a particular box. (As opposed to "Other," "Mixed," or "Prefer not to say.") I also think race is bs though.
Depends on why they need to know
Not if you are interested in dating them...
Very, unless you're close and the topic comes up. Or if your looking to start a relationship but suspect disinterest. Otherwise, I can't see how it's relevant. I don't take kindly to acquaintances asking even though I am open about my orientation.
Interesting. I feel the exact opposite way.
No. You pretty much have to know so you can avoid offending them.i know what you're going to say, and you're right, but I'm being honest. I don't want to offend.
I agree. Although I dont think it's so I can avoid offending anybody.
It's rude to ask rudely. It's a little unusual to ask at all.
Context ... If you want to ask someone out, it could be appropriate.
No, but it's unnecessary and weird to.
Why would anyone walk up to a person and randomly ask this?
Well, I never implied for this to be a random stranger. However, stranger or not, how is it weird?
Yes, if it's not pertinent to the topic at hand. Like when you want to ask them on a date.
Not in itself, but if strangers or loose acquaintances who don't want to date you do it, it's more likely they don't ask for it but question it, and that is rude.
I don't think it's rude as long as it is not done in an evil sense.
No. I wouldn't ask, however. I prefer don't ask don't tell. But Barack Obama took care of that. Ask away! Talk away, if you want.
I saw a customer drunk at a bar one night (she was, I was not). She asked if I was gay, because she found out I was 27 and single. I found it pretty awkward, but I politely said, no I am not. It's just not polite to ask an acquaintance, in my view.
Hm, I think I would have laughed. Just gotta take some things in stride.
Haha ooh I did laugh
I don't personally get offended by it, but I do think it's generally rude. Because it shouldn't really be relevant info to you unless you're interested in them sexually, in which case there are many more polite ways of propositioning someone.
Interesting. Thanks for sharing. So a friend asking you would be rude?
If a friend asks me, I don't mind, I'm a very open person. And with close friends for anyone I'd assume it's no big deal, but in general I think people who ask loose acquaintances or strangers are not being considerate.
Good question. I wouldn't be offended.
I think it actually would be the polite thing to do if you are interested in dating someone.
What is your sexual orientation? ;)
Hiya handsome! I'm heterosexual :)
Haha! And I'm married. (To a woman) :)
So now I know! Lol
I dont think its fair to assume or ask. Its rude because it puts people on the spot. Being gay is just a made up term anyhow. We are attracted to whoever we are attracted to. I think people need to get over it.
Is it rude to just assume that everyone is a hetero as most people are?
Generally, yes. In a general sense, no, but with a specific person, yes.
Then it can't also be rude to ask someone if there's any suspicion.
Not particularly. Context is important though. If you're going up to random strangers, you're pushing it.
why is it important?
Because we live in a society.
I dont understand what living in a society has to do with a persons sexual attractions, and how it is anyone elses business.
are you talking about the context of the situation in which asking is accptable or the context of a persons sexual identity?
I don't see how it doesn't matter.
The context of the situation. Don't overthink my words- remember, I'm drunk.
Yes, but not as rude as asking their sex.
Maybe, probably not, depends on context.
Doesn't bother me. In fact, I prefer it if people ask because I'm bi and that's not typically obvious. Also, those who ask about sexual orientation are more likely to be more open minded about those that aren't straight.
No, why would it be? If I was gay and thought another guy was hot, I would ask him if he was gay before I embarrassed myself by asking out a straight man.
Well that too, but I mean more like a parent waiting for an announcement or a new friend assuming you're straight type deal. Romantic involvements I view a little differently.
Depends on the context. You need to have favorable circumstances and a good reason to ask, IMHO.
I don't think it is. In fact, I prefer people ask me. It's easier than beginning a friendship or acquaintance with "I'm gay" all the time. It gets old.
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Yup, still gay
Usually how it goes haha. I guess even SOH mirrors my life haha.
Depends on the context. If it's like "dude, are you gay?" for no discernible reason, that's probably rude. But if it's more "hey, we've never talked about this so apologies if I'm making the wrong assumption, but I have this amazing attractive single
friend I think you'd be great for, if you swing that particular way," I wouldn't think that's particularly rude unless you have reason to know this person is uninterested in being set up.
Lol, my friends do that too. Instead of saying a guy is gay it's always "plays for the same team." Good point.
Hahaha I probably overuse the "play for x team" metaphor. Never really thought about that - I almost never use sports metaphors but that's one I use pretty frequently.
Yeah, but that's more about feminine and masculine than gay or straight. I had a high school crush on this super fem theatre guy that turned out to be straight.
And to clarify, I try not to assume a person is straight OR gay. If it can be inferred from other things they say (usually it can) I go with that as my baseline assumption. But if they're totally inscrutable I try not to assume they're straight.
Someone asked if I was gay and didn't believe me, so it's probably not a bad idea haha. However, in college I just don't even ask or assume. It's just everywhere.
Just bluntly, yeah, it seems rude to me. I think it's okay, after talking about your partner, to say something like "tell me about your partner." And allow that person to say as much as they feel comfortable.
Lol. Isn't assuming the same as asking?
Wait, I take that back. That was dumb. But assuming goes both ways.
Yeah, but you're still assuming he's straight...he could be gay. Or bi.
I'm sorry, did I hijack your analogy?