SOHAH: What are some of the funniest sexual jokes you've heard?
Boy: I'll give you $10 to climb the flagpole.
Girl: Okay (climbs pole)
Girl: Mommy, a boy just gave me $10 to climb the flagpole!
Mom: He was just trying to see your panties.
The next day...
Boy: I'll give you $20 to climb the flagpole.
Girl: Okay (climbs pole)
Girl: Mommy, Mommy, today the boy paid me $29 to climb the pole! But, I tricked him! I didn't wear panties!
While cleaning her son's room, a mother finds an S&M magazine. She shows it to the boy's dad.
Mom: What should we do about this?
Dad: I don't know, but whatever you do, don't spank him.
Friend 1: How's your sex life?
Friend 2: Its great since we got into S&M!
Friend 1: Really? I wouldn't have guessed you'd be into that. What's it like?
Friend 2: It's fabulous. He snores while I masturbate.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dîck down someone's throat.
I've never heard any that I think are actually funny and don't make me feel like I'm in a room of middle schoolers lol.
Pull my finger?
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
What doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year.
2 gay priests are about to take a bath together. they strip down and get in the tub. While in there one priest realizes that he forgot the soap so he gets out and runs down the hall wet and naked to the utility room. he grabs 2 bars of soap and...
makes an attempt to run back. but before he can get there he encounters 3 nuns whom are walking towards him. Not seeing him, the priest quickly jumps up in a platform standing still disguising himself as a statue. the nuns walk past him and...
admire how "real" everything is. the 1st nun take her hand and pulls on the priest's dick. the priest drops one bar of soap from his hand. "wow its soap dispenser," the first nun says! "let me try," says the second nun as she too pulls hard on...
his dick, dropping the 2nd bar of soap! "that's amazing! Let me try, says the last nun!" as she too pulls on his dick. nothing happens. She tries again nothing, so she keeps pulling and pulling and pulling until finally she proclaims...
"oh look! hand cream!"
i'd tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long
I'd tell you a joke about my vagina but you'd never get it.
I would do things to you that a memory foam mattress would try to forget...
I may be a smooth talker, but let me assure you that I'm ribbed for your pleasure...
Real men don't wear pink. They eat it...
Some people think it's sick and perverted to be a flasher.
I think it shows a lot of balls...
Sarcasm is my second most favorite "asm"...
I worked with all men. 5-6 of us were discussing how to solve a problem. One guy has never liked me, always put me down every chance. I asked him if he could say just one nice thing about me,just once. He said: ' you give good head' i know it's not
Funny if you have to say; you had to be there. But you had to be there.
Boy: Want to hear a joke about my penis? never mind, it's too long
Girl: Want to hear a joke about my vagina? Never mind, you'll never get it
Ha! I saw that one today, and was trying to figure out a way to use it.
fuck! i didn't see this before i posted
Hahaha neither did I
Why did they kick Raggety Ann out of the toybox? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and moaning "Lie to me!"
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Kk-k-kk-th-th.
I don't get it. Is she chocking?
How can you tell if a man's been in prison too long? His farts whistle.
The masochist looked to the sadist and said, "Hurt me!"
The sadist looked at the masochist, paused, smiled, and said, "No."