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MrEdwin October 21st, 2014 8:29pm

Dr. Arun Ghandi( Mohandas Ghandi's grandson) is in my town today and is speaking at one of the schools here. The way he was disciplined in his family was that his parents would go into a fast and not punish their children. Thoughts on this method?

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Diogenes FreeMeBe
10/21/14 7:02 pm

Sounds like something a Ghandi would do.

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MisterE Conservistan
10/21/14 3:31 pm

That seems very manipulative.

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moonshot More often I know nothing
10/21/14 3:23 pm

It's the same principle as removing a crying child from a grocery store, parent and all. The child needs to understand that their actions affect and have consequences on everyone.

bethanyq Ess Eff
10/21/14 1:42 pm

It'd really depend on how it was done. What immediately comes to mind for me is a massive guilt trip. Speaking as someone who was subjected to a lot of those as a kid (and who as a result constantly struggles as an adult not to let guilt interfere

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bethanyq Ess Eff
10/21/14 1:42 pm

with everyday life), I don't like the sound of it, but it's possible there's nuance I'm missing.

MrEdwin Mystery
10/21/14 1:45 pm

Here's a scenario: father discovers that his child stole or lied about something, the father blames himself for not raising his children right and goes into a fast and meditates on how to become a better parent so that he can raise his child right.

bethanyq Ess Eff
10/21/14 2:10 pm

Is it done in a way such that the child is made aware of the father's suffering, or is it treated in a healthy manner as a growing process? I could see it being okay if the latter, if the child is not made to suffer psychologically as a result of the

bethanyq Ess Eff
10/21/14 2:11 pm

father's suffering, if that makes sense.

MrEdwin Mystery
10/21/14 9:39 pm

I don't see how the child would know that their parent is punishing himself without seeing it

bethanyq Ess Eff
10/21/14 9:51 pm

Maybe that's the part I was missing. So the parents hide from the kids the fact that they are fasting?

MrEdwin Mystery
10/21/14 9:52 pm

No, the kids know that their parents are fasting

bethanyq Ess Eff
10/21/14 10:28 pm

Okay, then I'm confused by the comment you left just before your most recent one. What is the kid not seeing?

MrEdwin Mystery
10/21/14 10:32 pm

I think we're confusing each other. I misread your comment about it being treated in a healthy matter as the child not knowing anything about what the parent is doing. For clarity's sake, the child knows everything that their parent is doing and he

MrEdwin Mystery
10/21/14 10:34 pm

Knows his father is suffering because of his actions.

What would you consider a "healthy manner" with this method?

Manner* instead of matter in the last comment.

Mattwall1
10/21/14 1:36 pm

So if the kids did something wrong, the parents would fast, not the kids? Sounds like something bordering psychological torment for the kids..

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MrEdwin Mystery
10/21/14 1:41 pm

Yes, and they would cook their kids food while doing this too.

Mattwall1
10/21/14 1:43 pm

Sounds both like a very powerful psychological torture and quite effective

MrEdwin Mystery
10/21/14 1:30 pm

I didn't have enough space to explain it the way I'd wanted. But I'd be happy to clarify if needed.