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2ndafe Flat lands of Ohio
01/15/13 3:17 pm

The number one cause of divorce....

Marriage. ????

nnayllek Cliffs of Insanity
01/14/13 8:22 pm

I hope and pray that this marriage that I am in right now--my first marriage--is it for me.

By most standards I should be divorced, but the way I see it standards are averages, and my marriage simply, is not average.

01/14/13 7:54 pm

You'd probably be surprised!

01/14/13 7:51 pm

I'm 14. Enough said. :)

lesliebb New Jersey
01/13/13 10:13 am

Yes. I'm a monogomist and believe anything can be overcome. He had other ideas.

barbearnj Dreaming of Banff
01/12/13 7:32 am

Unfortunately twice. Three's a charm. I am a serial monogamist.

NotAsheep Nevada
01/12/13 5:48 am

If you have to be that detailed... SOH may not be the right place for you.

01/11/13 10:05 pm

Not divorced. Married 27.5 years. Ups and downs... Chose to work it out through the tough times. Happier now than ever.

01/11/13 9:48 pm

Sounds just like my parents, but no remarriages yet.

01/11/13 2:58 pm

Gotta get married first...

Justin-Hale The A
01/11/13 9:06 am

Yes and so happy I got away from that gem...found out she was popping pills and cheating...I got full custody of our daughters

EarlyBird Portland
01/11/13 8:40 am

Plus, many people have been divorced more than once and the numbers don't reflect it.

01/10/13 11:08 pm

That's the type of marriage I really hope to land myself some day: both members are willing to work hard to keep our commitment to each other.

01/10/13 9:40 pm

I haven't but I have divorced parents, does that count for anything?

cowboy Proud Father
01/10/13 6:29 pm

Why would you want to?

susanr Colorado
01/10/13 5:42 pm

I hope that changes for you, and soon.

susanr Colorado
01/10/13 5:41 pm

Good for you, Oakie. I wish more people had that level of commitment. Says a lot about your character.

Libertarian2016 Texas
01/10/13 4:40 pm

My grandma did the same thing but with a guy in Michigan.

01/10/13 4:22 pm

Researcher George Barna's most recent survey of Americans in 2001 estimates that 34 percent of those who have ever been married have ever been divorced. Not 50% - that's an urban legend.

Rio76 Wild West
01/10/13 3:46 pm

Yes kaik, the choice in a mate is vitally important. Choose wisely and prayerfully. That being said, you can't truly know every aspect of a person, or what they will do in every situation in the future. That's where the commitment part comes in. U have to accept their imperfections as they do yours.

01/10/13 3:24 pm

I am 12…so that would be a no.

truth1 Florida
01/10/13 3:22 pm

That's called co-dependency

01/10/13 2:38 pm

Yes! Dating your spouse is so important. My husband and I are so much more connected when we make time to date each other.

I also agree that many (not all) marriages could be saved by increased communication and commitment.

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
01/10/13 1:23 pm

The current wrong word should be busy. She is an RN. Works 12 hour shifts.

TempName14 Everywhere but nowhere
01/10/13 12:19 pm

Ahhhh. Now I'm starting to understand all your past posts. ????

TempName14 Everywhere but nowhere
01/10/13 11:59 am

One trick we used is to continue dating. I date my wife regularly with all the same ceremony somebody would use when they're trying to impress.

TempName14 Everywhere but nowhere
01/10/13 11:57 am

But there are a few instances where it's fully justified - cheating, physical or mental abuse. Arguing about bills, money, etc just doesn't cut it in my book!!!!!!

TempName14 Everywhere but nowhere
01/10/13 11:55 am

No. Our 21st anniversary is coming up. We had some terribly tough times, but we worked through it because we made commitments to each other and to our children. It's not right that children grow up without a mom and dad. Every year has been better than the previous. Marriage = hard work/commitment.

01/10/13 10:53 am

Happily married for 12 years.

My parents were married for 40 years, and got a divorce a year ago. Dad ran around on Mom for about 25 of those years. She finally had enough. Dad is remarried, to his most recent mistress. At least she knows she married a cheater.

Hubby's parents married 43 years.

01/10/13 10:38 am

@excalif - I haven't seen recent data, but years ago I saw a study indicating that 2nd, 3rd, and subsequent marriages have an even greater risk of divorce. Things like children, custody, and exes, tend to get in the way of the new marriage.

01/10/13 10:34 am

Just to share the flip side: I also married a man a few months after meeting him. He treats me like a princess every single day, even now, twelve years and four kids later.

Not saying that short pre-marital relationships work for everyone, but it isn't always a bad idea, either.

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
01/10/13 10:33 am

She has been so buddy she hasn't been looking. But when she does she's going to be a lot more selective. She's tired of supporting bums.

gonzoboy Northern AZ
01/10/13 10:15 am

It seems a double-edged sword @TopsQueen. On one hand, there comes a point where one achieves a great level of self-sufficiency and reliance. On the other, the lack of trust. There is a balance, and she 'n' I will find it somehow, some way. :)

excalif left of center
01/10/13 9:57 am

Also interesting is the females are about 3% higher. So (presuming no same sex divorces) guys must be multiple divorcees more often. It would be interesting to find stats on rate of divorce by marriage nummber (1st, 2nd etc.) Do we choose better the second time?

TopsQueen Oregon Coast
01/10/13 9:48 am

My daughter is the same way.

01/10/13 8:53 am

No and I really hope to never have to go through that.

cowboy Proud Father
01/10/13 6:45 am

Yes. I divorced my cheating whore wife after she flew out to California to fuck some guy she met online. She was a classy broad.

cowboy Proud Father
01/10/13 6:43 am

Are you Drew Peterson?

01/10/13 6:41 am

You make a good point. However, there is another perspective. There are marriages with good potential, that just need some hard work.

runschmoopie WNY
01/10/13 6:31 am

Just celebrated 17 years of marriage to only husband I have ever had.

My parents are divorced.
My in-laws have been married 42 years.

01/10/13 5:17 am

Yes, unfortunately. Just because I didn't want to hurt my ex--- very nice guy. I am; however very happily married now. Hubby and I are a great pair. He's the best!