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commonsense June 10th, 2014 5:14pm

The best way to prevent rape is to teach men not too.

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broncomark often, not what I seem
06/12/14 8:57 pm

Men know rape is wrong. It is sociopaths who do not.

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/13/14 8:41 am

Most rapists are not sociopaths though, we know this. Most ARE however, an acquaintance, lover/ex, or family member of the victim.

Djsoke
06/11/14 6:48 pm

Telling someone not to do something makes them want to do it more :D

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Captainbstring Biden is a Clown
06/11/14 6:06 am

And teach women to kick ass if some jerk tries it!

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jstahl Build that wall
06/11/14 5:38 am

They spend endless time and resources "teaching" kids not to bully, yet bullying is worse than ever. We also "teach" people not to do drugs, not to drink and drive, etc.

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variable00 New Jersey
06/11/14 5:06 am

No one should have to be "taught" not to rape someone. That's like teaching someone not to kill someone else. There's certain expectations of citizens who live in a "civilized" society. Not raping or assaulting other citizens is one of those.

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commonsense America isnt racist
06/11/14 5:38 pm

I agree. Yet it happens to 1 in 6 women.

Wackacrat Harford County
06/11/14 3:14 am

That's like saying the best way to prepare for a hurricane is to ask the hurricane to go the other way.

biggreen1981
06/10/14 10:10 pm

I am confident 99.9% of rapists knew that what they were doing was wrong and against social, moral, and ethical norms. How exactly would further education prevent them from partaking?

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aj1545 Cat Lady
06/11/14 8:51 am

Google "Stuebenville". Not everyone knows it's wrong in the context of dating, parties etc. one witness to the rape there said he didn't intervene since it didn't seem violent enough to be rape.

biggreen1981
06/11/14 10:43 pm

I will look into it. Still does not change the validity of my comment, but I will check out Steubenville.

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/12/14 9:26 am

I myself have been raped by two people who didn't think they were rapists. I never told anyone until I found out that one of them, a former friend, told our mutual friends about our "bad sex". And laughed. My ex boyfriend didn't think it was rape to

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/12/14 9:28 am

Hold me down and keep going when I said I needed to stop in the middle of sex. I think everyone knows snatching a woman off the street and raping her is a crime . It's these other cases that there seem to be less clear to people.

biggreen1981
06/12/14 3:26 pm

I am sorry to hear of your personal experiences with rape. I hope the individuals responsible were brought to justice, and given consequences consistent with their crimes. Maybe further education into why constitutes rape would be beneficial.

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/12/14 4:12 pm

Thanks. That's the thing I think we should be pushing rather than only the phrase teach men not to rape. Raping or not isn't exactly the problem. And I appreciate the sentiment, but neither of them were. The ex I never tried to report though. The

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/12/14 4:12 pm

Justice system could use some what counts as rape education too.

biggreen1981
06/12/14 10:08 pm

Admittedly, my original viewpoint on this question has been amended. Violent, impersonal, rape is well documented, but further education into the types of rape you described, I now see, is warranted.

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/13/14 5:28 am

And, interestingly, impersonal rape makes up less cases than rape by an acquaintance, friend, lover/ex, or family member (dept of justice stats). I think all people know that the violent , impersonal rape is wrong, agree it's this kind we need to

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/13/14 5:28 am

Teach about.

queenb2000 Auburn Township, OH
06/10/14 8:10 pm

Boys.

If you wait until they're men, you've missed the boat.

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joyfully
06/10/14 3:52 pm

I agree, but we should also teach girls how to defend their selfs and how to not put their selfs in danger

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steelcity Pittsburgh
06/10/14 2:53 pm

I would say that is a good long term solution, but won't be successful as a standalone method.

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Rocker saved by grace
06/10/14 2:25 pm

Unfortunately for many, the fact that it is wrong isn't strong enough to make it stop happening. The woman should be prepared to fight back.

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asia
06/10/14 1:05 pm

That's one way but not necessarily the best way

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pinkyusuck The Carribean. I wish.
06/10/14 12:53 pm

Only if it's coupled with teaching women how to be modest and chaste. Absolving the woman of any responsibility is just as harmful.

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EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/10/14 1:05 pm

There are a great deal of sexy shirtless men with less clothes on than most women and most of them seem to get by without being raped. Then again so do many women who dress sexy.

The problem is a lack of respect for a fellow human being.

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/10/14 1:15 pm

Seriously? Blaming rape victims?

Rocker saved by grace
06/10/14 2:22 pm

He's not blaming rape victims, pinky is saying that the woman shouldn't dress in a manner that invites it.

EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/10/14 2:31 pm

They don't dress in a manner that invites rape anymore than they dress to invite murder.

EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/10/14 2:34 pm

No one dresses super sexy and says, "Yeah! This oughta get me raped tonight!"

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/10/14 3:00 pm

And rape doesn't have much to do with clothes anyway. Saying a rape victim shouldn't be absolved of responsibility is pretty overtly blaming her.

Rocker saved by grace
06/10/14 4:32 pm

The principle here is the same one that is active in mass murder cases. The victim is an easy target.

EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/10/14 4:41 pm

No. That statement doesn't make any sense.

I woman walking around rubbing men's crotches with a wet skin tight shirt isn't asking to be raped.

She could be looking for meaningless sex but if she or the person she is with decides not to consent...

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/10/14 5:35 pm

Also, most rape is committed by someone the victim knows. And in random cases , rapists choose vulnerable, not promiscuous women.

pinkyusuck The Carribean. I wish.
06/11/14 12:45 am

"No one dresses super sexy and says, "Yeah! This oughta get me raped tonight!"
That's exactly the problem! Women don't think about the message that they're sending.

pinkyusuck The Carribean. I wish.
06/11/14 12:47 am

"[A] woman walking around rubbing men's crotches with a wet skin tight shirt isn't asking to be raped."
Yes, she is. She shouldn't be raped. But she is definitely inviting it by her actions.

EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/11/14 1:41 am

Pinky, your line of thinking is the problem we need to correct b

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/11/14 4:13 am

Pinky , almost no rape happens that way. It's not even accurate. I'll say it again- most victims are raped by a lover/ex, acquaintance, or family member. You can see these stats on the dept of justice page.

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/11/14 8:58 am

Also pinky, I can dig up the study later when I'm off work, but the minority of rapists who do target women they don't personally know target vulnerable, submissive women who seem easy to manipulate. The study found no relationship between clothing

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/11/14 9:02 am

And likelihood of being a victim. Also, look at countries with even higher rape rates than us. Burqas don't seem to have suppressed rape. I get that you like modesty, but saying it's related to rape isn't true.

pinkyusuck The Carribean. I wish.
06/11/14 10:46 am

Please understand, I'm by no means saying that it's all the woman's fault, nor that she always has some fault (it's case by case). Nor am I absolving the rapist.

pinkyusuck The Carribean. I wish.
06/11/14 10:46 am

But in many cases, the woman's choices contributed significantly to the situation, and it's counterproductive to pretend otherwise.

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/11/14 10:54 am

Like I said, I'll get that study when I'm home. It's not productive to pretend clothes affect a woman's chance of being raped when they do not .

EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/11/14 12:59 pm

I heard on the radio this morning that men in Egypt have been gang raping women in public.

When asked why one guy said that if they didn't want to be raped they wouldn't come out in public.

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/10/14 12:23 pm

Yes. Many people think rape is when a woman is viciously snatched in an ally. My rapist doesn't think he did anything wrong since I turned him on by making out with someone else and it wasn't with a weapon. My abusive ex didn't think it was rape to

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aj1545 Cat Lady
06/10/14 12:25 pm

Keep going when I told him to stop because I was in pain. Look up the Stuebenville rape- one witness didn't intervene because the girl was unconscious and he thought all rape was violent. I know a girl who went to the hospital for stitches when her

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/10/14 12:26 pm

Partner decided to try anal w/o consent. He saw it in porn and thought it would be fine .

We clearly need to discuss consent more. The problem is this myth of the stranger and an unrealistic perception of how rape happens.

dawl adulting
06/10/14 6:57 pm

I'm sorry to hear this AJ :-(

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/11/14 8:55 am

Thanks, I appreciate that. The thing that bothers me is how no one wants to acknowledge that most rape is like mine. They all seem to think it has to do with clothes and self defense.

dawl adulting
06/11/14 4:09 pm

It's infuriating!

EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/10/14 12:20 pm

Boys need to be taught to respect others. They need to be taught self control.

Lust isn't a sin for no reason. When it is one sided and gets out of hand...rape happens.

(I am not religious, I just see the sense in a few of the commandments.)

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EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/10/14 12:28 pm

Boys who respect both men and women, girls and boys, grow to be men who respect both men and women, boys and girls.

Arkansas123 Neoconservative
06/10/14 12:11 pm

I'm not sure men need to be taught not to rape as if raping women were some natural tendency that education needs to overcome. Possibly, what we should do is deobjectify the human body.

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EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/10/14 12:24 pm

Who says rape isn't natural. I do see it as a very savage and animal like act. It is the dominance of the male over the female to force them into submission.

I dislike with rape in any way but as horrible as it sounds I don't consider it unnatural.

Arkansas123 Neoconservative
06/10/14 12:53 pm

I tend to think that male rapists "get the idea from the culture that sex is a way to dominate women."

www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2011/01/18/rape_genetic_adaptation_likely_not.html

EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/10/14 1:10 pm

How do you explain rape in the wild with animals?

I am not saying it is genetic, just part of nature. Much like aggression towards people of your sex who over step their boundaries with your partner. We have made it socially unacceptable but it has

EarthMunkey The Golden Rule. Always.
06/10/14 1:12 pm

not always been that way. There used to be a culture that if you were strong enough you took what you thought was yours.

Arkansas123 Neoconservative
06/10/14 1:12 pm

How would you define "rape" for animals?

egglayer
06/10/14 1:28 pm

123: I don't want to jump into your discussion, but dolphins rape. A group of males will lead a female away from the safety of her group and keep her away from them, then they repeatedly have their way with her until they are satisfied.

Arkansas123 Neoconservative
06/10/14 2:08 pm

We should be careful applying human ideas to animals.

gunluvr NOT a Gun Free Zone
06/10/14 11:41 am

Conceal carry for women helps...a dead rapist can't re-offend

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aj1545 Cat Lady
06/10/14 12:28 pm

Except most rapists are acquaintances, lovers/exes, and family. Stranger rape is rate . A gun is unlikely to help.

pinkyusuck The Carribean. I wish.
06/11/14 12:48 am

Doesn't matter who it is. If they're trying to rape her, and she shoots them dead, the would-be rapist won't do it again.

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/11/14 9:09 am

Pinky- read my reply to you above. Most people don't have a weapon around lovers, friends, and family, who commit most rape. I agree having a gun is a good idea, but it's not going to do much for the majority of victims. I woke up to my rapist on top

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/11/14 9:10 am

Of me. Not much a weapon could do there. The snatching a woman off the street scenario is rare, though groping is not. That actually could be handled by more women having weapons.

pinkyusuck The Carribean. I wish.
06/11/14 10:48 am

Having a gun on your person, of near your bed can help that. Just advice for the future.

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/11/14 12:06 pm

I don't doubt that's sometimes true. I just think guns have more relevance in stranger rape situations. What if the attacker got it first when I was trying to? Not that I don't wish I'd had one in my hand at the time. I'm pro self defense, but it

aj1545 Cat Lady
06/11/14 12:08 pm

Has limits. I do still plan on getting a gun when I save up though. Concealed carry when I'm more skilled.

MrMilkdud
06/10/14 11:01 am

I don't recall ever feeling like I had to be taught not to rape. I figured that out all on my own without any outside help.
But by all means, if some guys need some extra tutoring on the topic, we should teach them.

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commonsense America isnt racist
06/10/14 11:22 am

not all men are part of the rape problem, but all men must be part of the rape solution

MrMilkdud
06/10/14 11:28 am

That's a nice sentiment, but ultimately meaningless.
Some people just want to do very bad things, and no amount of training or prevention will diminish their desire to do bad things.

MrMilkdud
06/10/14 11:28 am

I could replace the word "rape" with any other crime and it would have the same ultimate futility.

MrMilkdud
06/10/14 11:31 am

There are people know that rape is wrong. They understand the different emotional and physical levels of pain it causes.
They just don't care.
Education won't stop people like that.

MrMilkdud
06/10/14 11:34 am

And it's not just men. I've worked with kids who were brutally raped and sexually abused by women.
The premise of your question fundamentally flawed because it presupposes that people (not just men) wouldn't rape people if they just knew better.

MrMilkdud
06/10/14 11:36 am

The best way to prevent rape is to make the consequences so brutal and final that even the worst kinds of vermin will avoid rape for no other reason than fear of getting caught.
And even that won't work 100% of the time.

commonsense America isnt racist
06/10/14 12:08 pm

I hear you.
90% of the people that rape, are men. This makes it a man's issue to stop.

I don't think many men that end up raping a woman are considered "bad men" before they do it.

itsOkay no longer answering here
06/10/14 10:50 am

That's absolutely correct. And teach them why it's wrong. A man that is opposed to rape can be trusted not to do it.

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EarlyBird Portland
06/10/14 10:49 am

The best way to stop rape is for men who have those tendencies to seek help and get treated. Remember, rape isn't about sex. It's about power and anger.

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Arananthi Literal Ninja
06/10/14 11:29 am

^^ This. Everybody* knows rape is bad. People who decide to do even knowing it's bad don't give a shit about your teaching. Something you tell told them once years ago is going to fail in the face of whatever literally insane motivation is right now.

Arananthi Literal Ninja
06/10/14 11:30 am

(* If you don't know rape is bad in the first place, the likelihood that you're mentally sufficient to the task of "being taught" is dubious. No insult intended; just recognizing that there is a class of people that is actually not 'Everybody'.)

commonsense America isnt racist
06/10/14 12:10 pm

From what I've even reading, most men that rape, never intend too. We are talking about your "everyday" man.

EarlyBird Portland
06/10/14 12:11 pm

Like date rape?

EarlyBird Portland
06/10/14 12:11 pm

When the making out gets a little too hot and heavy?

presrvd Phoenix
06/10/14 10:47 am

I understand the statistics of it, but your poll is inaccurate. Rape is not a gender-specific crime.

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CorblaKhan Team Skynet
06/10/14 10:48 am

I was about to say "teach everyone."

commonsense America isnt racist
06/10/14 11:20 am

Actually it is a gender specific issue. Most rapes are committed by men. 90%

presrvd Phoenix
06/10/14 11:30 am

Most "reported" rapes. There is a an issue with males not reporting rapes.

commonsense America isnt racist
06/10/14 12:11 pm

@presrvd, fair enough.

d0m333 Pennsylvania
06/10/14 10:32 am

To pursue all avenues of prevention possible. Teach women self defense (like how to busy open his skull), raise boys properly on how to respect women, change culture to one with the moral absolute that rape is wrong, etc

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