The best way to prevent rape is to teach men not too.
Men know rape is wrong. It is sociopaths who do not.
Most rapists are not sociopaths though, we know this. Most ARE however, an acquaintance, lover/ex, or family member of the victim.
Telling someone not to do something makes them want to do it more :D
And teach women to kick ass if some jerk tries it!
They spend endless time and resources "teaching" kids not to bully, yet bullying is worse than ever. We also "teach" people not to do drugs, not to drink and drive, etc.
No one should have to be "taught" not to rape someone. That's like teaching someone not to kill someone else. There's certain expectations of citizens who live in a "civilized" society. Not raping or assaulting other citizens is one of those.
I agree. Yet it happens to 1 in 6 women.
That's like saying the best way to prepare for a hurricane is to ask the hurricane to go the other way.
I am confident 99.9% of rapists knew that what they were doing was wrong and against social, moral, and ethical norms. How exactly would further education prevent them from partaking?
Google "Stuebenville". Not everyone knows it's wrong in the context of dating, parties etc. one witness to the rape there said he didn't intervene since it didn't seem violent enough to be rape.
I will look into it. Still does not change the validity of my comment, but I will check out Steubenville.
I myself have been raped by two people who didn't think they were rapists. I never told anyone until I found out that one of them, a former friend, told our mutual friends about our "bad sex". And laughed. My ex boyfriend didn't think it was rape to
Hold me down and keep going when I said I needed to stop in the middle of sex. I think everyone knows snatching a woman off the street and raping her is a crime . It's these other cases that there seem to be less clear to people.
I am sorry to hear of your personal experiences with rape. I hope the individuals responsible were brought to justice, and given consequences consistent with their crimes. Maybe further education into why constitutes rape would be beneficial.
Thanks. That's the thing I think we should be pushing rather than only the phrase teach men not to rape. Raping or not isn't exactly the problem. And I appreciate the sentiment, but neither of them were. The ex I never tried to report though. The
Justice system could use some what counts as rape education too.
Admittedly, my original viewpoint on this question has been amended. Violent, impersonal, rape is well documented, but further education into the types of rape you described, I now see, is warranted.
And, interestingly, impersonal rape makes up less cases than rape by an acquaintance, friend, lover/ex, or family member (dept of justice stats). I think all people know that the violent , impersonal rape is wrong, agree it's this kind we need to
If you wait until they're men, you've missed the boat.
I agree, but we should also teach girls how to defend their selfs and how to not put their selfs in danger
I would say that is a good long term solution, but won't be successful as a standalone method.
Unfortunately for many, the fact that it is wrong isn't strong enough to make it stop happening. The woman should be prepared to fight back.
That's one way but not necessarily the best way
Only if it's coupled with teaching women how to be modest and chaste. Absolving the woman of any responsibility is just as harmful.
There are a great deal of sexy shirtless men with less clothes on than most women and most of them seem to get by without being raped. Then again so do many women who dress sexy.
The problem is a lack of respect for a fellow human being.
Seriously? Blaming rape victims?
He's not blaming rape victims, pinky is saying that the woman shouldn't dress in a manner that invites it.
They don't dress in a manner that invites rape anymore than they dress to invite murder.
No one dresses super sexy and says, "Yeah! This oughta get me raped tonight!"
And rape doesn't have much to do with clothes anyway. Saying a rape victim shouldn't be absolved of responsibility is pretty overtly blaming her.
The principle here is the same one that is active in mass murder cases. The victim is an easy target.
No. That statement doesn't make any sense.
I woman walking around rubbing men's crotches with a wet skin tight shirt isn't asking to be raped.
She could be looking for meaningless sex but if she or the person she is with decides not to consent...
Also, most rape is committed by someone the victim knows. And in random cases , rapists choose vulnerable, not promiscuous women.
"No one dresses super sexy and says, "Yeah! This oughta get me raped tonight!"
That's exactly the problem! Women don't think about the message that they're sending.
"[A] woman walking around rubbing men's crotches with a wet skin tight shirt isn't asking to be raped."
Yes, she is. She shouldn't be raped. But she is definitely inviting it by her actions.
Pinky, your line of thinking is the problem we need to correct b
Pinky , almost no rape happens that way. It's not even accurate. I'll say it again- most victims are raped by a lover/ex, acquaintance, or family member. You can see these stats on the dept of justice page.
Also pinky, I can dig up the study later when I'm off work, but the minority of rapists who do target women they don't personally know target vulnerable, submissive women who seem easy to manipulate. The study found no relationship between clothing
And likelihood of being a victim. Also, look at countries with even higher rape rates than us. Burqas don't seem to have suppressed rape. I get that you like modesty, but saying it's related to rape isn't true.
Please understand, I'm by no means saying that it's all the woman's fault, nor that she always has some fault (it's case by case). Nor am I absolving the rapist.
But in many cases, the woman's choices contributed significantly to the situation, and it's counterproductive to pretend otherwise.
Like I said, I'll get that study when I'm home. It's not productive to pretend clothes affect a woman's chance of being raped when they do not .
I heard on the radio this morning that men in Egypt have been gang raping women in public.
When asked why one guy said that if they didn't want to be raped they wouldn't come out in public.
Yes. Many people think rape is when a woman is viciously snatched in an ally. My rapist doesn't think he did anything wrong since I turned him on by making out with someone else and it wasn't with a weapon. My abusive ex didn't think it was rape to
Keep going when I told him to stop because I was in pain. Look up the Stuebenville rape- one witness didn't intervene because the girl was unconscious and he thought all rape was violent. I know a girl who went to the hospital for stitches when her
Partner decided to try anal w/o consent. He saw it in porn and thought it would be fine .
We clearly need to discuss consent more. The problem is this myth of the stranger and an unrealistic perception of how rape happens.
I'm sorry to hear this AJ :-(
Thanks, I appreciate that. The thing that bothers me is how no one wants to acknowledge that most rape is like mine. They all seem to think it has to do with clothes and self defense.
Boys need to be taught to respect others. They need to be taught self control.
Lust isn't a sin for no reason. When it is one sided and gets out of hand...rape happens.
(I am not religious, I just see the sense in a few of the commandments.)
Boys who respect both men and women, girls and boys, grow to be men who respect both men and women, boys and girls.
I'm not sure men need to be taught not to rape as if raping women were some natural tendency that education needs to overcome. Possibly, what we should do is deobjectify the human body.
Good luck with that :-)
Who says rape isn't natural. I do see it as a very savage and animal like act. It is the dominance of the male over the female to force them into submission.
I dislike with rape in any way but as horrible as it sounds I don't consider it unnatural.
I disagree with the "rape gene" hypothesis.
I tend to think that male rapists "get the idea from the culture that sex is a way to dominate women."
How do you explain rape in the wild with animals?
I am not saying it is genetic, just part of nature. Much like aggression towards people of your sex who over step their boundaries with your partner. We have made it socially unacceptable but it has
not always been that way. There used to be a culture that if you were strong enough you took what you thought was yours.
How would you define "rape" for animals?
123: I don't want to jump into your discussion, but dolphins rape. A group of males will lead a female away from the safety of her group and keep her away from them, then they repeatedly have their way with her until they are satisfied.
We should be careful applying human ideas to animals.
Conceal carry for women helps...a dead rapist can't re-offend
Except most rapists are acquaintances, lovers/exes, and family. Stranger rape is rate . A gun is unlikely to help.
Doesn't matter who it is. If they're trying to rape her, and she shoots them dead, the would-be rapist won't do it again.
Pinky- read my reply to you above. Most people don't have a weapon around lovers, friends, and family, who commit most rape. I agree having a gun is a good idea, but it's not going to do much for the majority of victims. I woke up to my rapist on top
Of me. Not much a weapon could do there. The snatching a woman off the street scenario is rare, though groping is not. That actually could be handled by more women having weapons.
Having a gun on your person, of near your bed can help that. Just advice for the future.
I don't doubt that's sometimes true. I just think guns have more relevance in stranger rape situations. What if the attacker got it first when I was trying to? Not that I don't wish I'd had one in my hand at the time. I'm pro self defense, but it
Has limits. I do still plan on getting a gun when I save up though. Concealed carry when I'm more skilled.
I don't recall ever feeling like I had to be taught not to rape. I figured that out all on my own without any outside help.
But by all means, if some guys need some extra tutoring on the topic, we should teach them.
not all men are part of the rape problem, but all men must be part of the rape solution
That's a nice sentiment, but ultimately meaningless.
Some people just want to do very bad things, and no amount of training or prevention will diminish their desire to do bad things.
I could replace the word "rape" with any other crime and it would have the same ultimate futility.
There are people know that rape is wrong. They understand the different emotional and physical levels of pain it causes.
They just don't care.
Education won't stop people like that.
And it's not just men. I've worked with kids who were brutally raped and sexually abused by women.
The premise of your question fundamentally flawed because it presupposes that people (not just men) wouldn't rape people if they just knew better.
The best way to prevent rape is to make the consequences so brutal and final that even the worst kinds of vermin will avoid rape for no other reason than fear of getting caught.
And even that won't work 100% of the time.
I hear you.
90% of the people that rape, are men. This makes it a man's issue to stop.
I don't think many men that end up raping a woman are considered "bad men" before they do it.
That's absolutely correct. And teach them why it's wrong. A man that is opposed to rape can be trusted not to do it.
The best way to stop rape is for men who have those tendencies to seek help and get treated. Remember, rape isn't about sex. It's about power and anger.
^^ This. Everybody* knows rape is bad. People who decide to do even knowing it's bad don't give a shit about your teaching. Something you tell told them once years ago is going to fail in the face of whatever literally insane motivation is right now.
(* If you don't know rape is bad in the first place, the likelihood that you're mentally sufficient to the task of "being taught" is dubious. No insult intended; just recognizing that there is a class of people that is actually not 'Everybody'.)
From what I've even reading, most men that rape, never intend too. We are talking about your "everyday" man.
Like date rape?
When the making out gets a little too hot and heavy?
I understand the statistics of it, but your poll is inaccurate. Rape is not a gender-specific crime.
I was about to say "teach everyone."
Actually it is a gender specific issue. Most rapes are committed by men. 90%
Most "reported" rapes. There is a an issue with males not reporting rapes.
@presrvd, fair enough.
To pursue all avenues of prevention possible. Teach women self defense (like how to busy open his skull), raise boys properly on how to respect women, change culture to one with the moral absolute that rape is wrong, etc
Lots of luck