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cyanospool June 3rd, 2014 3:34am

Jacob has a fetish that involves simply asking strangers on a bus for a pen to borrow in a completely ordinary, non-sexual way (NO exposure/public indecency). One day, Jacob asks a 12 year old girl on the bus for a pen. Has he done something wrong?

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aj1545 Cat Lady
06/03/14 11:41 am

Depends how much you read into it, but at 12 I would've been scared. You learn really quickly to never respond to strange men once you've hit puberty.

Torfin Never Behind
06/03/14 2:13 am

If you mean sexual satisfaction when you say fetish..then involving a minor in his sexual satisfaction is morally wrong.

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b4mytime Orange County, CA
06/03/14 1:06 am

This is getting a little bit into "Thought Police" territory...his outward actions are completely normal, but we're going to focus in on and be picky about what's going on in his private mind? If he does anything further, that's a different story.

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Shazam Scaramouche, OH
06/03/14 12:34 am

Ok, i may be reading way too much into this, but here goes. I'm voting yes. If I am reading the Q correctly, the fetish is the unknowing surrender of the object by the person approached. "i'm taking this from you, you have no idea why, but are giving

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Shazam Scaramouche, OH
06/03/14 12:37 am

It freely." To me, the act is one of dominance, coercion and manipulation. I would say the trigger is most likely something they see in the individual - could be an emotion (sadness, anger) or a physical demeanor (aggressive, submissive). My read is

Shazam Scaramouche, OH
06/03/14 12:41 am

That the object (pen), is completely irrelevant. It's the act of submission by the person of attraction that is getting the guy off. In turning his attention toward a 12 yr old, he has sexualized the girl, and is gaining sexual excitement from her

Shazam Scaramouche, OH
06/03/14 12:43 am

Unwitting submission to his request. To me, the entire fetish is problematic, but the sexualization of the preteen puts it way over the top.

Shazam Scaramouche, OH
06/03/14 12:46 am

Oh, I am assuming Jacob is an adult. If he's 11 or 13, I would have a problem w the fetish, but not a greater problem with the girl than anyone else approached.

DuckAndCower
06/02/14 9:53 pm

It bothers me, and I feel like it's wrong, but I don't have anything to counter the arguments below.

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Praetorianus Fair enough.
06/02/14 10:04 pm

I have a possible counter: this behavior may point to a mental disorder that could become progressively worse and lead to terrible things like raping girls by inserting a pen.

Shazam Scaramouche, OH
06/03/14 12:30 am

PRAE - WTF?!?!?

Shazam Scaramouche, OH
06/03/14 12:49 am

PRAE - scratch that. I don't think pen rape is a likely end result, but would agree that entry level power/coercion/sexual manipulation that often lead to rapists may be in play.

usernamehere Raise a little hell
06/02/14 9:07 pm

No. He's asking for a pen. Idgaf what he does with the pen afterwards. The twelve-year-old won't be scarred by the fact that she lent someone a pen.

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Arananthi Literal Ninja
06/02/14 8:56 pm

As the late great Tom Leherer once posited, "Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the eye of the beholder."

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Praetorianus Fair enough.
06/02/14 8:40 pm

No, something that is an odd quirk of an eccentric and doesn't have sexual connotations for most people (including the child) is without consequences. The child won't feel violated and knows nothing about the stranger's odd thinking.

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Praetorianus Fair enough.
06/02/14 8:45 pm

The same goes for sexual thoughts that don't show. If he memorizes the child and later gets off using the memory for sexual gratification, no harm is done either, no more than if it were an imaginary sexual partner.

Shazam Scaramouche, OH
06/03/14 12:47 am

PRAE - i disagree. See my thoughts above.