Once soul mates, always soul mates?
Happened to my first wife. Made the second one suffer.
The idea of "soul mate" seems silly to me. I prefer "default mode" .
Haha! I like it
In some cases, but "souls" aren't carved out of solid neverchangeium. We grow at different rates, and sometimes we grow apart.
Don't we stop the soul mates business after middle school?
Of course not. If it were true, there would be no divorces.
I don't believe in soul mates. I think you can miss what you felt or who you were or thought you were when you and said person were together. But obviously people break up for a reason, even if you don't agree with the reasoning.
Hee Hee ; )
This issue is whether or not *true* sole mates or "presumed" sole mates. Then again, even soulmates can't take each other for granted & expect "happily ever after"... Happily ever after doesn't mean you'll never be exasperated w/each other either.
Soul mates! Bunch of baloney!
Yes. If it changes you weren't in the first place.
We thought that about Reagan, too.
It would be nice but not in this country.
That was soul train!
I miss each one and know they are giving their souls to others and helping to make lives better for those they share life with- I am married to a soulmate now :) I believe there are many soul mates for us, each a match and compliment.
I don't believe in soul mates, but I think if I did, once I found mine they would always be it, even after they left.
MrL, I've never been able to make sense of it no matter how many years have past. There will never be closure. It was a very long time ago.
How did things end? Do you still have contact with this person?
Ended in a split second it seemed. One day after work he just didn't come home. I was literally in shock. Limited contact for a few years but now no contact.
No contact for 20 years. I just can't understand why I still search for answers but there will never be one. Soul mate to me regardless, even though I can't forgive or forget.
What are the feelings you most frequently find yourself experiencing surrounding the events? If you don't mind my asking... Have you had any partners since?
I do have a s/o now and have had for years. Life goes on.
Feeling of the event...just shock, disbelief, pain and fear. It wasn't supposed to be that way.
That's why I think maybe always soul mates even after parting ways.
"I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or
because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together."
-- Lisa Kleypas; Blue-Eyed Devil
I do understand the lack of closure and how difficult it can be. I also understand what it
is like to feel so in on l leet and rejected. However, in time, the pain and suffering will fade once you come to realize that It isn't one person who's your soul mate, but it is the person who gives their all and you return it.
Thanks MrL, it does do good to say things "out loud" sometimes. You have kind words.
I certainly hope you feel better about it, and soon. <3 Life is difficult enough without carrying more baggage like that. ): Stay strong... Things will get better. :)
Oh my gosh Pirate - you have brought me to tears. I think when you are lucky enough to have found that (not all do) those feelings stay forever, no matter why the relationship ended. I also believe that there are "many soul mates" for each of us,
But sometimes due to time or circumstance, they cannot stay in your life. There are many people from my life that stay with me always and wish they were still with me.
Thank you too CC for your thoughts. I didn't want to make this comment section too much about me but the complete story makes it even harder to understand.
Life sucks sometimes and very unfair (to me) often. Hugs
"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another
layer of yourself to you, and then leave.?
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control
that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."
-- Elizabeth Gilbert; Eat, Pray, Love
Thank you for that MrL. I found my soul mate, then they flew away.
though I can agree with parts of that statement, as in a soulmate is a mirror, I don't think that it has to be painful. my husband is my exact opposite and has taught me many things I thought I loved about myself might be the exact things others migh
might hate about me. but he has done it is a lovingly way just as I've done it for him. when I'm with him in grounded in a way that I'm not in my normal state and I do the exact opposite for him. I make him think outside the box and get outside his
comfort zone. It does not have to be painful but it could be.
I'm sorry to hear that, pirate. Would you like to discuss it more? ):
Goldie, my interpretation, combined with the actual science behind romantic love is not that it is painful when things are good, but the forcing oneself to stay past that
point of things and where many people keep a relationship despite its obvious failures - soul mates, or any partner/friend/family who comes into your life and then departs is not something to see as wasted and that we can't gain anything from it.
Rather, through that experience and our being torn apart by its dissolution, we see more of ourselves, and we have the choice to improve upon those areas within ourselves or we can just be scarred.
I can totally get behind the not wasted part. I don't understand why people feel like they wasted their time in relationships. obviously there was something there to start a relationship/friendship. is it because we are losing value in human
companionship or because we don't trust ourselves to grow as humans?
MrL, Sorry...look above for comment.
or maybe it is because we are not taught the value of growing? I can see how much my husband and I have changed over the past 10 years and it is amazing. both of us see value in how we have changed and also don't fear change we allow it to happen.
Well, in reality, I view the time spent as wasted IF people don't learn from what happened. The most important part of failing is learning from it. A failed relationship is no different than any other type of failure in that way, really.
Regret often surrounds breakups, which I understand, but there is no benefit to that. Things are going to change. Life isn't always going to be as we want it, but at the end of the day, the most we can do is make the best of what is and work to
change it more favorably.
How could I forget regret? Of course! That is a very powerful emotion.