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Pirate June 2nd, 2014 12:42pm

Once soul mates, always soul mates?

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CzarCastic
06/04/14 6:23 am

Happened to my first wife. Made the second one suffer.

dudley northern Virginia woods
06/03/14 8:48 pm

The idea of "soul mate" seems silly to me. I prefer "default mode" .

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Zod Above Pugetropolis
06/03/14 8:01 pm

In some cases, but "souls" aren't carved out of solid neverchangeium. We grow at different rates, and sometimes we grow apart.

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Kenneh
06/03/14 6:29 pm

Don't we stop the soul mates business after middle school?

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roundsquare round square
06/03/14 12:55 pm

Of course not. If it were true, there would be no divorces.

opie99 left coast best coast
06/03/14 11:39 am

I don't believe in soul mates. I think you can miss what you felt or who you were or thought you were when you and said person were together. But obviously people break up for a reason, even if you don't agree with the reasoning.

elianastar Gab.ai FreeSpeech
06/03/14 8:15 am

This issue is whether or not *true* sole mates or "presumed" sole mates. Then again, even soulmates can't take each other for granted & expect "happily ever after"... Happily ever after doesn't mean you'll never be exasperated w/each other either.

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rons Thanks America
06/03/14 8:11 am

Soul mates! Bunch of baloney!

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Injectable Trump Killed Babbitt
06/03/14 8:04 am

Yes. If it changes you weren't in the first place.

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MadCow True GOP
06/03/14 7:56 am

We thought that about Reagan, too.

KingRodney Enjoy the Decline
06/03/14 7:36 am

It would be nice but not in this country.

rons Thanks America
06/03/14 8:12 am

That was soul train!

mac Oregon
06/03/14 6:25 am

I miss each one and know they are giving their souls to others and helping to make lives better for those they share life with- I am married to a soulmate now :) I believe there are many soul mates for us, each a match and compliment.

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FemmeAdamWest in the Tardis library
06/02/14 8:49 am

I don't believe in soul mates, but I think if I did, once I found mine they would always be it, even after they left.

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Pirate Uses the Tap
06/02/14 6:19 am

MrL, I've never been able to make sense of it no matter how many years have past. There will never be closure. It was a very long time ago.

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 6:29 am

How did things end? Do you still have contact with this person?

Pirate Uses the Tap
06/02/14 6:42 am

Ended in a split second it seemed. One day after work he just didn't come home. I was literally in shock. Limited contact for a few years but now no contact.

Pirate Uses the Tap
06/02/14 6:53 am

No contact for 20 years. I just can't understand why I still search for answers but there will never be one. Soul mate to me regardless, even though I can't forgive or forget.

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 6:54 am

What are the feelings you most frequently find yourself experiencing surrounding the events? If you don't mind my asking... Have you had any partners since?

Pirate Uses the Tap
06/02/14 6:56 am

I do have a s/o now and have had for years. Life goes on.

Pirate Uses the Tap
06/02/14 7:00 am

Feeling of the event...just shock, disbelief, pain and fear. It wasn't supposed to be that way.

Pirate Uses the Tap
06/02/14 7:05 am

That's why I think maybe always soul mates even after parting ways.

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 7:29 am

"I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 7:30 am

because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together."
-- Lisa Kleypas; Blue-Eyed Devil

I do understand the lack of closure and how difficult it can be. I also understand what it

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 7:31 am

is like to feel so in on l leet and rejected. However, in time, the pain and suffering will fade once you come to realize that It isn't one person who's your soul mate, but it is the person who gives their all and you return it.

Pirate Uses the Tap
06/02/14 7:44 am

Thanks MrL, it does do good to say things "out loud" sometimes. You have kind words.

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 7:47 am

I certainly hope you feel better about it, and soon. <3 Life is difficult enough without carrying more baggage like that. ): Stay strong... Things will get better. :)

chickencookie Jihad Joe
06/03/14 7:34 am

Oh my gosh Pirate - you have brought me to tears. I think when you are lucky enough to have found that (not all do) those feelings stay forever, no matter why the relationship ended. I also believe that there are "many soul mates" for each of us,

chickencookie Jihad Joe
06/03/14 7:37 am

But sometimes due to time or circumstance, they cannot stay in your life. There are many people from my life that stay with me always and wish they were still with me.

Pirate Uses the Tap
06/03/14 8:02 am

Thank you too CC for your thoughts. I didn't want to make this comment section too much about me but the complete story makes it even harder to understand.

chickencookie Jihad Joe
06/03/14 8:14 am

Life sucks sometimes and very unfair (to me) often. Hugs

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 5:46 am

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life

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MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 5:47 am

.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 5:47 am

layer of yourself to you, and then leave.?

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 5:50 am

that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."
-- Elizabeth Gilbert; Eat, Pray, Love

Pirate Uses the Tap
06/02/14 6:01 am

Thank you for that MrL. I found my soul mate, then they flew away.

Goldiemol dry side of WA
06/02/14 6:03 am

though I can agree with parts of that statement, as in a soulmate is a mirror, I don't think that it has to be painful. my husband is my exact opposite and has taught me many things I thought I loved about myself might be the exact things others migh

Goldiemol dry side of WA
06/02/14 6:06 am

might hate about me. but he has done it is a lovingly way just as I've done it for him. when I'm with him in grounded in a way that I'm not in my normal state and I do the exact opposite for him. I make him think outside the box and get outside his

Goldiemol dry side of WA
06/02/14 6:08 am

comfort zone. It does not have to be painful but it could be.

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 6:09 am

I'm sorry to hear that, pirate. Would you like to discuss it more? ):

Goldie, my interpretation, combined with the actual science behind romantic love is not that it is painful when things are good, but the forcing oneself to stay past that

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 6:12 am

point of things and where many people keep a relationship despite its obvious failures - soul mates, or any partner/friend/family who comes into your life and then departs is not something to see as wasted and that we can't gain anything from it.

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 6:15 am

Rather, through that experience and our being torn apart by its dissolution, we see more of ourselves, and we have the choice to improve upon those areas within ourselves or we can just be scarred.

Goldiemol dry side of WA
06/02/14 6:16 am

I can totally get behind the not wasted part. I don't understand why people feel like they wasted their time in relationships. obviously there was something there to start a relationship/friendship. is it because we are losing value in human

Goldiemol dry side of WA
06/02/14 6:17 am

companionship or because we don't trust ourselves to grow as humans?

Pirate Uses the Tap
06/02/14 6:21 am

MrL, Sorry...look above for comment.

Goldiemol dry side of WA
06/02/14 6:21 am

or maybe it is because we are not taught the value of growing? I can see how much my husband and I have changed over the past 10 years and it is amazing. both of us see value in how we have changed and also don't fear change we allow it to happen.

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 6:31 am

Well, in reality, I view the time spent as wasted IF people don't learn from what happened. The most important part of failing is learning from it. A failed relationship is no different than any other type of failure in that way, really.

MrLucchese If curious, ask.
06/02/14 6:35 am

Regret often surrounds breakups, which I understand, but there is no benefit to that. Things are going to change. Life isn't always going to be as we want it, but at the end of the day, the most we can do is make the best of what is and work to

Goldiemol dry side of WA
06/02/14 6:39 am

How could I forget regret? Of course! That is a very powerful emotion.