A high school senior is accepted into a good college. He makes plans to attend, but his parents want him to wait a year before going to college ("gap year"). Who should make the final decision?
After reading through comments I assume the year is to become more 'socially mature'. Seems his/her elders will pay for school, so the year is not to earn $ for school. Without knowing the family dynamics, I'd suggest taking the gap year...
...And doing something you have a passion for. Working for a year in a foreign country, volunteering for a service organization that affords travels, etc. If the tuition isn't an issue (taking loans), then do what you want and go to school.
Ultimately, it should be the student's decision, and their parents should be supportive of it if they are a good family. The student is an adult now, and doesn't need their parents to do this, it just makes them less independent.
I don't think so,it is not really fair to the child at that point.They're of age and the parents are still forcing them to be majorly dependent on them & delay things they may not want delayed.Everyone has the right to try to live the life they want
Even if the parents are paying, they should be paying for what their child wants. After all, this is about what they want to do in their life, and good patents would be supportive of this. It doesn't mean they can't offer their view.
I'm sure if their logic was reasonable, the student may take it into consideration. I just don't think it's right to force things like that on someone. They can make a suggestion, but that should be all.
Thank you. I wasn't overly concerned about the grammatical error, but since lvyra felt the need to point it out, I felt I should note that I am cognizant of my mistake. :)
My sentence is not a run-on, thank you for the try though. Semicolons are lovely, but they should be used sparingly. Congratulations on your BA; your errors don't quite show it.
It is either a run-on sentence or just poor punctuation. You have two complete & independent clauses that you have separated by a comma. This is a grammatical error regardless of your arrogance. I don't constantly monitor the nuisances of grammar
An interesting question might be what would the parents have the kid do for that "gap year"? A kid wanting a break is understandable (and usually a bad idea in my opinion), but if it is the parent's idea, do they have activities planned or what?
That makes sense, and could be good for the kid. Unless the job and the new friends are too much fun and it's hard to leave the party to go back to school. Which is what happened to me, but my heart wasn't really in going to school anyway.
I'm sure it will work out, we all seem to get through somehow. An internship at a place I hope to eventually at that point would probably be very helpful, eventually letting me tailor my studies to better suit my career.
I'm still searching, as area parents. My moms doing ok, but she hasn't had the next surgery yet. I'm not sure when it will be to be honest. And of course, my dad's relationship went public a few hours ago, so uh I have no clue how to react
It depends. If, like me, the kid is 17, it will be the parents, right or wrong. If the student is already 18, the parents have nothing to do with it. Unless they're paying the bill of course, in which case it was never a question.
I was in the reverse situation, in the end I won out. This was primarily because I'm by myself on the cost though. In the end, the money is what it comes down to.
To me, there's something going on that isn't being put on the table. What is social immaturity? What sort of skills need to be manifested in order to display mastery to the parents? Are the parents dissatisfied with the student's course of study?
Are the parents unhappy with the student's choice of school? Is there a medical diagnosis that is coming into play here? If not, should there be? Are there economic factors at play here?
What do the parents believe the student should be doing during the gap year? Did the student's parents take a gap year? Why is the student against taking a gap year?
I knew who it was, GmaAlice. I've been following it on Matt's posts, & those were some of the questions I had from the situation. If he did try to have a sit down with his parents - to no avail - it seems like they might be the ones lacking maturity.
there's so much that this depends on, esp WHY do the parents want him to wait. I saw below "socially immature" - to what degree? part of the point of college is to mature. you become more responsible for yourself, your decisions & consequences.
ultimately I think the kid should decide when he's ready to attend school, but if he's not paying then he has to accept input from those that are paying.
Something is not right here. Do they think less of the son? Do they do this with all the kids? Is this what the cousins and relatives do in the family?
By coddling him - they certainly wont let him grow. I think there are "worse" than this person and there are all kinds of "weird and quirky" kids at college. I also want to add if you can let this person know that it is not abnormal to not make
Friends right away. My daughter really didn't get going till she joined a sorority. If this person has any kind of interest for instance - politics - he should join the "republicans club". Also they usually have a night that is a theme night -
Movies, food, music etc. Not everyone is varsity - party all night type. They will find their way. A good roommate is a huge thing. They meet before on Facebook.
Yes Matt. I used it as an example :). I think student should get active. . Student will not meet anyone on an app or fb. As I told grandma student should not feel bad because they don't make friends first semester . This is more normal then
I have experience in both roles, so I base it on my experiences. It seems to me that when I raised my kids, I was sometimes too close to it, to make a good judgment. A grandparent can step back and see things from an outsider's perspective ...
... yet be close enough to care. Especially in a case like this, where there is controversy. Of course, that isn't always true. Grandparents should not interfere, but here they are involved for financial reasons.
The way this is worded, parents should have the final say if they are paying for everything.
Now, who's proposition is wiser? Arguments are easily made for both sides and I honestly couldn't answer that without more information
Then I'll have to side with them. If they're not ready to make the investment, for whatever reason, then that's their choice. If the kid feels they are wrong, he could always try negotiating. Maybe work and do a year of community college for the core
I'd day it's in the details. If it's for them, them that could be a selfish rationale. I could see if they needed to save money, sell their house, or if some logistical consideration was involved. But not that their baby has grown up and is moving
I'm not saying I agree with the parents decision or not but I think, quite literally, the buck stops with them...
The parents SHOULD respect the students wishes more however, their money, their decision.
Trogdor is on the correct path. Certainly, discussion with the young person should occur but as we all know a person does not stop development until significanly later. The parents ate likely employing the wisdom of their experience in making this
requirement. And since it is on their dime the youth should respect their decision (OR) do it on his/her own. Besides if they do it on their own they will appreciate it much more.
Show of Hands
Comments: Add Comment