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DoCiDuLi October 22nd, 2014 4:22pm

I just found nude photo"s of my boyfriends ex girlfriend on his phone. Six months ago he told me he deleted them. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

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rickvee Living the dream
10/22/14 12:15 pm

If you're going through his phone, there's already issues.

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Abolitionist Voice of the people
10/22/14 1:12 pm

I wouldn't be in a relationship with anyone if I felt like I had to go through their phone.

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firefly5 the verse
10/22/14 2:27 pm

my thoughts, exactly. my wife and I trade phones quite a bit. I have no issue with her going through my phone, abd she feels no need to do so.

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Shiggybythebay Proud Bay Area Native
10/22/14 11:38 am

Talk with him before you dump him. They could have been on the cloud. My phone puts all my old stuff on it from the cloud. I haven't figured out how to delete stuff from the cloud yet. Also, ask him if he still has feelings for her. Either way, you

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FemmeAdamWest in the Tardis library
10/22/14 12:53 pm

I think there's also a difference between looking at porn and looking at someone you actually have been physical with in the past.

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TopsQueen Oregon Coast
10/22/14 2:14 pm

Call him on it. Take it from me do not stay with a liar.

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FemmeAdamWest in the Tardis library
10/22/14 9:48 am

It is absolutely NOT an overreaction, and depending on how long you've been together I would pack up and leave too.

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Skyrim nobody
10/22/14 11:42 am

I would at least talk to him first. My boyfriend had contact info and pictures come up on his phone and PC even after he deleted them in front of me. It was automatically in his cloud and forgot to delete it from there. Glad I didn't just leave.

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DoCiDuLi
10/22/14 12:40 pm

What I hate most about this is now I'll have trust issues. I know I have to leave. Ill act like everything is fine tonight when he gets home and then when he gets in the shower, I will delete all pictures of me from his phone.

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DoCiDuLi
10/22/14 9:37 am

Right now I'm so hurt, I want to pack up and be gone when he gets home but I don't know if it's an over reaction. It makes me question what other lies he's told me. :-(

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roundsquare round square
10/22/14 11:21 am

Dump him. You won't ever trust again. Cut your loses now.

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Nemacyst No Lives Matter
10/22/14 11:36 am

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aj1545 Cat Lady
10/22/14 12:31 pm

Idk, no guy I dated was ever interested in looking at naked girls that specifically made me uncomfortable. And I've been asked not to do the same. It's fair. Everyone has different preferences, this isn't some innate male need.

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DoCiDuLi
10/22/14 12:42 pm

Tomorrow morning he'll take off for work and I'll pack up and be gone when he gets home. I don't want drama and more lies. I can't believe he did this to us... :-(

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Torfin Never Behind
10/22/14 2:01 pm

It would be one thing if you found them and had not already had a conversation about it. This is a Pretty big lie.

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aj1545 Cat Lady
10/22/14 12:56 pm

@femme- agree there too. Porn isn't so personal.

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Nemacyst No Lives Matter
10/22/14 11:39 am

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aj1545 Cat Lady
10/22/14 1:19 pm

Polyamory has to involve both people agreeing on it though. I think the deception here is more the issue.

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aj1545 Cat Lady
10/22/14 12:42 pm

Good idea, who knows if he'd keep them. Plus, revenge porn isn't illegal in most states so your images aren't protected.

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DoCiDuLi
10/22/14 12:45 pm

That's right. I no longer trust him. I have to protect myself.

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Torfin Never Behind
10/22/14 2:24 pm

It is unfortunate that he is keeping a dishonest trophy. If you are considering dumping him for it then it sounds like there are more problems than some nude pics. Dishonesty is my real issue with the situation.

And I am always happy to be of help.

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Despair Sac the City of Trees
10/22/14 12:29 pm

Agreed AJ. If he kept the photos on purpose then he is guilty as well.

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DoCiDuLi
10/22/14 1:11 pm

There were some hot lezbo pics I was looking for :-)

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knh85 ...
10/22/14 1:16 pm

From experience if he gets more than mildly annoyed that you went through his phone it's because he's hiding something. My ex would flip his sh*t when I snooped and he was cheating. My husband didn't like that I did it but didn't have anything to

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knh85 ...
10/22/14 1:18 pm

Hide so he wasn't that bothered. Talk to him before you end the relationship. The cloud really is an @sshole and puts deleted things back all the time.

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FemmeAdamWest in the Tardis library
10/22/14 3:24 pm

I agree, but it sounds like she wasn't snooping but just trying to find something they had looked at together to send to herself. It doesn't sound like she didn't trust him and was maliciously going through his phone for proof of a reason why.

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FemmeAdamWest in the Tardis library
10/22/14 3:26 pm

I get on the hubby's phone to send myself pictures he has too, I've never considered myself to be snooping when I do this, and if I stumble upon questionable material than it was exactly that - stumbled upon.

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DoCiDuLi
10/22/14 12:47 pm

I hope this baggage doesn't carry over to the next relationship. I've always been very trusting and that's why this hit me so damn hard. :-(

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Nemacyst No Lives Matter
10/22/14 12:11 pm

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Nemacyst No Lives Matter
10/22/14 12:13 pm

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FemmeAdamWest in the Tardis library
10/22/14 12:54 pm

No problem. And I also don't agree with what people are saying about the cloud. Your cloud album is right next to your regular album and you can delete those pictures permanently in the exact same way you delete them from your regular album.

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FemmeAdamWest in the Tardis library
10/22/14 12:56 pm

I am wondering what made you decide to look in his phone, and if this is something he normally is comfortable with you doing, but I feel your answer won't change my response on the matter.

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Nemacyst No Lives Matter
10/22/14 12:23 pm

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firefly5 the verse
10/22/14 1:39 pm

pictures do back up and, especially with iPhones, automatically end up back on the phone. I'm on android, but I've found blurry pictures that I'd deleted. but if you can't trust one another, there's no point.

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aj1545 Cat Lady
10/22/14 12:27 pm

Agree with this as well. Though it doesn't negate him keeping the photos.

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DoCiDuLi
10/22/14 1:05 pm

Nem- I've played the scene in my head over and over. I'll confront him, he'll make some excuse of why the pictures were still there, I'll start crying and not know if he's lying or not, blah, blah.. The fact is the pics were easy to see they weren't

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Shiggybythebay Proud Bay Area Native
10/22/14 12:28 pm

Sounds like you guys might have some trust issues that need to be dealt with. The best thing to do is talk and figure out if you guys can trust each other. If you can't, it's probably a good idea to consider moving on. Good luck.

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DoCiDuLi
10/22/14 1:07 pm

Hidden or anything. He obviously saw them everyday and was ok with keeping it from me. Not cool.

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typetype level 2 pretty
10/22/14 9:48 am

It's nothing. Is it just in the camera roll or saved 2 something special? As long as her number isnt all ovr recent calls & texts & you're not finding hairs that you know are not yours don't trip. Just use a photo app to f*** w the photos have fun.

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Shiggybythebay Proud Bay Area Native
10/22/14 11:38 am

You have the right to know.

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Joshua77 Jesus is Lord
10/22/14 12:01 pm

Great reason to never take nude photos :-)

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aj1545 Cat Lady
10/22/14 12:06 pm

If you had agreed on his deleting them beforehand and he still lied, that shows serious disrespect to you. He knew it made you uncomfortable and kept them anyway. He betrayed you. It's fine if I'm a couple neither person minds nude photos from the

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aj1545 Cat Lady
10/22/14 12:46 pm

True. Just hang in there, it sucks now and will suck for a while, but it gets better.

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aj1545 Cat Lady
10/22/14 12:07 pm

Past, but it sounds like your preference was known. Of it wasn't, his lying still warrants a serious discussion.

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BigKennyShow Welcome to the basement
10/22/14 3:36 pm

I agree. Make him explain himself or kick his ass to the curb.

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Nemacyst No Lives Matter
10/22/14 12:12 pm

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146787456777 .......
10/22/14 12:13 pm

hmm. idk if dumping him would be be best, but at the very least serious words need to be had imo, I would not be pleased in that situation.

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Nemacyst No Lives Matter
10/22/14 12:50 pm

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